so tonight i joined my mom for her weekly dinner with my abuelito. Dinner with my grandpa is always kind of interesting in that "talking to old people and getting wisdom from them" way. My grandpa always has this look of apathy and general boredom but as it turns out he's just kind of a quiet man of few words who prefers to observe. This is rather odd since he spawned five very loud women who spawned lots of loud brown children. But as my grandmother used to love to point out, we all had more of her blood than his. She was kind of a cruel woman.
Anyways he's 76 and his daily habits consist of waking up around 9, showering, grabbing some beers and a cooler and sitting outside in a lawn chair gardening, drinking beer and listening to old spanish love songs. Sometimes he'll drive ot my house or one of my other aunts' houses to do their gardens. Then he goes inside, grabs another beer, and watches old movies. he loves to sit in his chair and watch gladiator over and over again. he also really loves clint eastwood movies but his favorite actor is Steve McQueen. Anyways the man drinks like a fish but has never been sick. i asked him once how it is that he never ever gets sick. he told me "hija, es que no voy al doctor." Basically he doesnt' believe in doctors, because he thinks they jsut make up diseases and they make you take drugs that you don't need. This is in stark contrast to my constant state of hypochondria. Apparently in addition to the loudness, we also got the crazies from my grandma's side of the family.
I asked him what he eats to stay so healthy and he said he usually boils an egg in the morning, has a peice of cheese and an apple. And then he said he doesnt' eat until dinner in which he makes chicken soup or other chicken dishes. so essentially he stays away from sweets, breads, red meats and anything with taste. And look! he has lived to be 76 without ever getting sick, he still has his mental capacities all intact, and the only real problem is that he drinks alot. i guess we truly can learn from the old. Sometimes i ask him to tell me stories of the old days, his time as an immigrant worker in american before the influx of illegals. Someday i'll share those stories, interesting stuff. Lots of cool shit like his dad essentially kidnaped, raped, and forced his mother to marry him and moved her to his hacienda out in the middle of nowhere. shit like that. you do'nt get stories like that anymore!
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
"little children"
You know when you have those days where your success of failure is all dependent on one thing going right because if that one thing goes right it will trigger a series of events through which the rest of your day will go right? And then that one thing does not go right and you feel like you might cry because you have banked your day's happiness on that one thing. Basically what i'm talking about is those days where things go wrong and then finally the straw breaks the camels back and you break down in front of complete strangers in some public place like a coffee shop or a mini mall, and someone comes up to you and say "are you ok" and you incomprensibly mumble phrases like "yeah iiii'm fine it's just (tears) nothing EVER goes right and just to top it off this and why me!" So today wasn't quite that but i just wnated to set the tone.
All day long, and cathy can attest to this, i have been craving an in n out cheeseburger. If you have never had an in n out cheeseburger you are sorely missing out. I mean, the perfectly cooked meat, the melted cheese, the crispy toasted ring around the edge of the bun. I have travelled far and wide (really only to like 6 states but still) and have never found a burger quite as pleasing as the in n out cheeseburger. Well all day long i was telling cathy how my plan was to go to the movies at 1:10, but on my way stop at the in n out down the street from the theater, use the remainder of my gift card my cousin gave me to purchase a cheeseburger so i coudl sneak it into the theater and eat it during the movie. A wonderful plan, i thought.
I had been contemplating this since last night. I had gone on wikipedia and teh in n out website just to get myself mentally prepaired. i mean I WAS EXCITED! I was learning all of these new facts, like for instance did you know that animal style means your meat patty is cooked in mustard? i did not knw this. I knew all the other stuff but this mustard cooked patty was kind of mysterious to me. Like what does a mustard cooked patty taste like? This all got me talking to cathy about how i'm really not a very exciting person. i generally stick to what i like and i order that forever. For the first 18 years of my life i excuslively ate hamburgers. In fact, i think i didnt' actually have my first cheeseburger until college on a trip to, of all palces IN N OUT! well since then i have been on a strict cheeseburger fad. I have this thing where when i'm looking at a menu i think "ooh that looks good. but what if it's not. what if i order it and it's not really what i want and i waste all of those calories and money on something i dont' even like or enjoy! but i'm so boring. i should just try it." well i get myself all worked up and by the time i make it to the ordering booth i say to myself "do it! order something new" and then what comes out of my mouth is "cheeseburger, no onions." so what i'm saying is, i am a creature of habit. Well after talking ot cathy today for about an hour about how much i love cheeseburgers and because of this love was a bit scared to try to double double animal style she finally convinced me. So i got in my car, drove to in n out wiht 10 minutes to spare and rolled into the parking lot to find....
25 fucking cars waiting in line for what i can only assume is the same damn double double animal style! goddamnit! i was filled with such rage. I definitely did not have time to wait in that line or i would for sure miss my movie. So i made a rash decision. i drove off and called cathy to complain about how wretched and cruel life can sometimes be (in a very uncruel way, i mean you know, this is all for dramatic value). I told her i was on the verge of tears, which i really was, and i told her how much i hated americans because "what kidn of disgusting peopel are eating in n out for lunch on a work day! i only eat like this on vacation! god, i hate americans! this is why they are so fat!" And really i ask, who eats fastfood on a normal lunch day? if you do i think you shoudl really stop, buy yourself some wheat bread and turkey and chow down on something healthy for a change! because seroiusly fast food should be reserved for a few rare times a year when you let yourself enjoy, like for instance VACATIONS! so anywyas i was very bitter and ended up just going straight to the movie theater and feeling really upset that my whole plan to enjoy a nice double double animal style had been ruined by a bunch of gluttonous people who also had the urge to eat in n out that day on their lunch break.
so i saw this movie "little children" and it was really good. And it's nto really teh kind of movie where you can talk about plot and stuff liek that, but it's the kind of movie that leaves you thinking. And after i came out it really put that whole in n out debacle into perspective, and i dont' realy know how, but it did. It got me thinking about my life, and what i value, and how sad it is that not getting a double double animal style can throw me all out of wack, because really, what does this say about me?
And then i was driving home kind of pensive, when i saw this old mustang with a for sale sign. I dont' know anything about cars so i cant' say what year it was, but it took me back to a day when i used to want an old mustang. I remember asking my dad for one and he said it was a very impractical car and my parents are all about practicality. And the reason that i wantd the mustang was not that i cared about how it ran or anything like that or that i knew anything about engines and shit, but it was because i used to watch 21 jumpstreet and johnny depp's character drove a mustang and i stuck with me. I mean, i was a really big johnny depp fan at the time. i also really wanted an old VW bug. I had these memories of my aunt lucy, who later became my "crazy aunt lucy" when she used to pick me and Jenny up and take us to the movies in her old sky blue VW bug. I thought that car was teh coolest and it seemed very me. Well i didnt' get a bug. Instead i got a boring, green, honda civic. And the irony (in the alanis morrisette way) was that this other mexican girl who had almost the same name as me only with an H had an old VW bug. and i always had this feeling that she somehow was the cooler, more confident version of me (with less controlling parents). She wasn't even that pretty, and boys liked her, and she was tall and had an awkward body wtih a flat butt, but again, no one seemed to notice. And she was smart and we had fun together when we got put in the back of our AP history class because we were the only girl who didnt' show our coochies to our dirty history teacher (turns out he was a pedophile and we were the on;y non slutty girls in class). And i always felt liek in some alternate world we would have been friends. It reminds me of this quote "if i had been someone else in a different world Id've done something different, but i was myself and the world was the world, so i was silent." That's how i feel about a lot of things, and that's kind of how the movie "little children" made me feel, when i say "i felt pensive."
So i leave this entry with no conclusion, except to say that i went to in n out afterwards. there was still a line, but i waited and i got a double double animal style. It was too big for me. i only ate 3/4 of it and threw the rest away. Sometimes we shoudl listen to the signs that life gives us.
All day long, and cathy can attest to this, i have been craving an in n out cheeseburger. If you have never had an in n out cheeseburger you are sorely missing out. I mean, the perfectly cooked meat, the melted cheese, the crispy toasted ring around the edge of the bun. I have travelled far and wide (really only to like 6 states but still) and have never found a burger quite as pleasing as the in n out cheeseburger. Well all day long i was telling cathy how my plan was to go to the movies at 1:10, but on my way stop at the in n out down the street from the theater, use the remainder of my gift card my cousin gave me to purchase a cheeseburger so i coudl sneak it into the theater and eat it during the movie. A wonderful plan, i thought.
I had been contemplating this since last night. I had gone on wikipedia and teh in n out website just to get myself mentally prepaired. i mean I WAS EXCITED! I was learning all of these new facts, like for instance did you know that animal style means your meat patty is cooked in mustard? i did not knw this. I knew all the other stuff but this mustard cooked patty was kind of mysterious to me. Like what does a mustard cooked patty taste like? This all got me talking to cathy about how i'm really not a very exciting person. i generally stick to what i like and i order that forever. For the first 18 years of my life i excuslively ate hamburgers. In fact, i think i didnt' actually have my first cheeseburger until college on a trip to, of all palces IN N OUT! well since then i have been on a strict cheeseburger fad. I have this thing where when i'm looking at a menu i think "ooh that looks good. but what if it's not. what if i order it and it's not really what i want and i waste all of those calories and money on something i dont' even like or enjoy! but i'm so boring. i should just try it." well i get myself all worked up and by the time i make it to the ordering booth i say to myself "do it! order something new" and then what comes out of my mouth is "cheeseburger, no onions." so what i'm saying is, i am a creature of habit. Well after talking ot cathy today for about an hour about how much i love cheeseburgers and because of this love was a bit scared to try to double double animal style she finally convinced me. So i got in my car, drove to in n out wiht 10 minutes to spare and rolled into the parking lot to find....
25 fucking cars waiting in line for what i can only assume is the same damn double double animal style! goddamnit! i was filled with such rage. I definitely did not have time to wait in that line or i would for sure miss my movie. So i made a rash decision. i drove off and called cathy to complain about how wretched and cruel life can sometimes be (in a very uncruel way, i mean you know, this is all for dramatic value). I told her i was on the verge of tears, which i really was, and i told her how much i hated americans because "what kidn of disgusting peopel are eating in n out for lunch on a work day! i only eat like this on vacation! god, i hate americans! this is why they are so fat!" And really i ask, who eats fastfood on a normal lunch day? if you do i think you shoudl really stop, buy yourself some wheat bread and turkey and chow down on something healthy for a change! because seroiusly fast food should be reserved for a few rare times a year when you let yourself enjoy, like for instance VACATIONS! so anywyas i was very bitter and ended up just going straight to the movie theater and feeling really upset that my whole plan to enjoy a nice double double animal style had been ruined by a bunch of gluttonous people who also had the urge to eat in n out that day on their lunch break.
so i saw this movie "little children" and it was really good. And it's nto really teh kind of movie where you can talk about plot and stuff liek that, but it's the kind of movie that leaves you thinking. And after i came out it really put that whole in n out debacle into perspective, and i dont' realy know how, but it did. It got me thinking about my life, and what i value, and how sad it is that not getting a double double animal style can throw me all out of wack, because really, what does this say about me?
And then i was driving home kind of pensive, when i saw this old mustang with a for sale sign. I dont' know anything about cars so i cant' say what year it was, but it took me back to a day when i used to want an old mustang. I remember asking my dad for one and he said it was a very impractical car and my parents are all about practicality. And the reason that i wantd the mustang was not that i cared about how it ran or anything like that or that i knew anything about engines and shit, but it was because i used to watch 21 jumpstreet and johnny depp's character drove a mustang and i stuck with me. I mean, i was a really big johnny depp fan at the time. i also really wanted an old VW bug. I had these memories of my aunt lucy, who later became my "crazy aunt lucy" when she used to pick me and Jenny up and take us to the movies in her old sky blue VW bug. I thought that car was teh coolest and it seemed very me. Well i didnt' get a bug. Instead i got a boring, green, honda civic. And the irony (in the alanis morrisette way) was that this other mexican girl who had almost the same name as me only with an H had an old VW bug. and i always had this feeling that she somehow was the cooler, more confident version of me (with less controlling parents). She wasn't even that pretty, and boys liked her, and she was tall and had an awkward body wtih a flat butt, but again, no one seemed to notice. And she was smart and we had fun together when we got put in the back of our AP history class because we were the only girl who didnt' show our coochies to our dirty history teacher (turns out he was a pedophile and we were the on;y non slutty girls in class). And i always felt liek in some alternate world we would have been friends. It reminds me of this quote "if i had been someone else in a different world Id've done something different, but i was myself and the world was the world, so i was silent." That's how i feel about a lot of things, and that's kind of how the movie "little children" made me feel, when i say "i felt pensive."
So i leave this entry with no conclusion, except to say that i went to in n out afterwards. there was still a line, but i waited and i got a double double animal style. It was too big for me. i only ate 3/4 of it and threw the rest away. Sometimes we shoudl listen to the signs that life gives us.
The Overstimulation of Our Children
So i spent all day Monday babysitting my nephew ben, and what a time we had. He's a good boy and really onlly cried when he wanted something like food or a clean diaper or a nap. And his mom never once had to come down and intervene because i was such a good babysitter, i knwo right. So anyways wanted i wanted to talk about though was the fact that children nowadays are so overstimulated. if it's not the hdtv it's the gamecube, and the mini hand held PS whatever it's caled and the ipod so they can have music while they play video games. I give you exibit a and b
a) Ben's walker/entertainment center. This swivel walker thing had mirros, and twisty things and a noise maker and a song machine and stuffed animals and bright colors and really anything a child could want to distract them from the world. mind you he is 5 months old. What is all of this stimulation going to do do the poor boy's imagination?
b) his jungle mat, thing. It was made to look like a baby is lying in a junge with hanging animals and mirrors again, squeezy toys, lights, and twirling butterflies. It was excess at it's best and it made me tired just lookind at all of it. excess people, excess.
but overall i did like some of ben's toys, my favorite being this wierd sea creature named "captain uniqua."
Captain uniqua is from some nickalodeon show, and she's called uniqua because she is unlike any other creature in the world. Dont' you love teh subtle acculturation into the American way of being? i do! so this captain Uniqua was a one eyed pirate and she would sing these ska/reggae songs about pirates and treasures. By the end of the day i was singing them to ben and he was laughing and laughing. I decided to take a clip of uniqua's awesome songs, but sadly my dinasaur camera can only take 5 second clips....
so basically watch the first 2 consecutively and then i will write teh lyrics later.
so this first song goes:
"If you wanna be a pirate be up on your feet
you can't be a pirate if you're sittin in your seat
throw your hands up, and stand kind of bow
and make this noise wherever you go
argh argh ARGH!
a pirate, a pirate, a pirate says
ARGH!!"
The second song she sings is all about like treasure and finding treasure and she does this awesome falsetto. Anyways she said other phrases liek "let's walk the plank" and stuff like that and was generally awesome. I kind of want a captain uniqua.
So i leave you with this last image of Ben and I, relaxing 3 bottles, 2 poops, and 3 naps later. Proving once again that i might never want my own children, but i dont' mind spending a day with other people's really cool ones.
a) Ben's walker/entertainment center. This swivel walker thing had mirros, and twisty things and a noise maker and a song machine and stuffed animals and bright colors and really anything a child could want to distract them from the world. mind you he is 5 months old. What is all of this stimulation going to do do the poor boy's imagination?
b) his jungle mat, thing. It was made to look like a baby is lying in a junge with hanging animals and mirrors again, squeezy toys, lights, and twirling butterflies. It was excess at it's best and it made me tired just lookind at all of it. excess people, excess.
but overall i did like some of ben's toys, my favorite being this wierd sea creature named "captain uniqua."
Captain uniqua is from some nickalodeon show, and she's called uniqua because she is unlike any other creature in the world. Dont' you love teh subtle acculturation into the American way of being? i do! so this captain Uniqua was a one eyed pirate and she would sing these ska/reggae songs about pirates and treasures. By the end of the day i was singing them to ben and he was laughing and laughing. I decided to take a clip of uniqua's awesome songs, but sadly my dinasaur camera can only take 5 second clips....so basically watch the first 2 consecutively and then i will write teh lyrics later.
so this first song goes:
"If you wanna be a pirate be up on your feet
you can't be a pirate if you're sittin in your seat
throw your hands up, and stand kind of bow
and make this noise wherever you go
argh argh ARGH!
a pirate, a pirate, a pirate says
ARGH!!"
The second song she sings is all about like treasure and finding treasure and she does this awesome falsetto. Anyways she said other phrases liek "let's walk the plank" and stuff like that and was generally awesome. I kind of want a captain uniqua.
So i leave you with this last image of Ben and I, relaxing 3 bottles, 2 poops, and 3 naps later. Proving once again that i might never want my own children, but i dont' mind spending a day with other people's really cool ones.
Monday, February 26, 2007
Oscar night! i'm really glad i got to be home to watch the oscars with my parents. my mom and i like to just wear pijamas all day, get some kind of take out (in n out in this case) and just watch tv all day. how much this differs from our usual weekend activities is very slim but not the point.
i'm in a real Journey mood. I've been listening to Open Arms for no reason other than i just love the sound of Steve Perry's voice. Normally i would say "is that wrong?" but i knwo for a fact it is wrong so i will avoid the question altogether.
I'm gonna go babysit tomorrow. woo babies! but yes, a great week of suburban madness. bar "hipping" in hermosa which was truly dreadful as would be expected, and then 5 hours of awesome fishing. who knew fishing was so much fun. pictures to come at some point when bobby emails me.
yeah i really have nothing to say other than, i relaly didn't like gweneth's dress on her, and her hair was like marcia brady, which is not a complement.
i'm in a real Journey mood. I've been listening to Open Arms for no reason other than i just love the sound of Steve Perry's voice. Normally i would say "is that wrong?" but i knwo for a fact it is wrong so i will avoid the question altogether.
I'm gonna go babysit tomorrow. woo babies! but yes, a great week of suburban madness. bar "hipping" in hermosa which was truly dreadful as would be expected, and then 5 hours of awesome fishing. who knew fishing was so much fun. pictures to come at some point when bobby emails me.
yeah i really have nothing to say other than, i relaly didn't like gweneth's dress on her, and her hair was like marcia brady, which is not a complement.
Friday, February 23, 2007
liek Papi like daughter
holy shit i just finished a fucking 25 page paper and it is detailed like WHAT!! it's a draft so i'm sure it will be torn apart and whatevs but the poitn is i'm done. Too bad i missed teh mall and all that good stuff. I really have to shower because i realized that i have not showered in 4 days. I don't know what is more gross, the fact that i havent' showered, or the fact that i had to "realize" it. who am i??? I also have a giant pimple on the side of my mouth that looks like a cold sore but IT'S NOT! I SWEAR!! and everytime i see someone i want to say "i don't have herpes!! i have a blemish!"
Anywyaas i locked myself in my dad's office since 7 this morning writing this paper because it was the only part of my sunny house that semi reminded me of my basement in ann arbor. Isn't it strange how i came ot LA to escape and yet i spent my first day here in a michiganesque type room?? i find it odd. Anyways i realized something. I take after my dad alot in many diferent ways, but more importnatly we have a really similar aesthetic. this is not to say that either of us have particularly good taste but we both liek really wierd things that have special significane to us, like my coconut heads. basically we collect crap, is what i'm saying. His office is pretty neat and he has lots of wierd paraphenalia on the wall like machetes, marathon medals that he won, mexican art, lots of tequila on a shelf, and a wierd don quijote painting. He has this obsession with don quijote, and i'm not really sure why but i think it's part of what makes my dad cool to me, that he has a 3rd grade education but has read don quijote in 2 languages.
so as i was sayiing this painting is cool.
I do'nt knwo where my parents bought it or at what point my mom kicked it out of the mian part of the house and relegated it to my dad's office but the story goes that when you get really drunk (or high as was the case of my parents in the 70's) don quijote starts to look like he's running toward you and you are in hell. One of my cousins tried to get my dad to give him the painting for his house and i was liek "what the fuck!! giving away my stuff! no dude that is my painting!" the goal is to someday put that painting in my office when i get older. I know it kind of looks liek an eyesore but i feel liek you have to see it in person and know my dad to see how cool it is. maybe it's just me.
But the fact that we both like crap is not the main reason that i think we are similar. I went to use his desk and it was basically covered in crap (paper, receipts, old mail, calendars and day planners tha thave never been used, organization boxes that are unused). As it were it turns out my father in all his order is just as big a mess as me, which is nice to know. but what i think is strange is that his desk looked exactly like my desk, exactly! and he leaves wierd notes to himself that i can't read and that i'm sure he never looks at. So the odd thing is that i didnt' really spend that much time with my dad growing up since he worked alot, so these habits and ways of living my life are kind of more nature rather than nurture because this is so very not my mom. So i find it odd that the person i am most like is the person i spent the least amoutn of time with. We both have minor cases of OCD, we are both control freaks and get really stressed when things dont' go our way, we are both messy but anal, we both hate feet. the list goes on.
so anywyas i'm gonna go shower now, and wash the caked dirt from my body. nastiness.
but here is a little something for you all to read.
"uncle bernie"
he looks really old in that picture...and really mexican. In fact that picture of the wall in his office and teh bright reds and orages make it look like i live in chuntarro city.
Anywyaas i locked myself in my dad's office since 7 this morning writing this paper because it was the only part of my sunny house that semi reminded me of my basement in ann arbor. Isn't it strange how i came ot LA to escape and yet i spent my first day here in a michiganesque type room?? i find it odd. Anyways i realized something. I take after my dad alot in many diferent ways, but more importnatly we have a really similar aesthetic. this is not to say that either of us have particularly good taste but we both liek really wierd things that have special significane to us, like my coconut heads. basically we collect crap, is what i'm saying. His office is pretty neat and he has lots of wierd paraphenalia on the wall like machetes, marathon medals that he won, mexican art, lots of tequila on a shelf, and a wierd don quijote painting. He has this obsession with don quijote, and i'm not really sure why but i think it's part of what makes my dad cool to me, that he has a 3rd grade education but has read don quijote in 2 languages.
so as i was sayiing this painting is cool.
I do'nt knwo where my parents bought it or at what point my mom kicked it out of the mian part of the house and relegated it to my dad's office but the story goes that when you get really drunk (or high as was the case of my parents in the 70's) don quijote starts to look like he's running toward you and you are in hell. One of my cousins tried to get my dad to give him the painting for his house and i was liek "what the fuck!! giving away my stuff! no dude that is my painting!" the goal is to someday put that painting in my office when i get older. I know it kind of looks liek an eyesore but i feel liek you have to see it in person and know my dad to see how cool it is. maybe it's just me. But the fact that we both like crap is not the main reason that i think we are similar. I went to use his desk and it was basically covered in crap (paper, receipts, old mail, calendars and day planners tha thave never been used, organization boxes that are unused). As it were it turns out my father in all his order is just as big a mess as me, which is nice to know. but what i think is strange is that his desk looked exactly like my desk, exactly! and he leaves wierd notes to himself that i can't read and that i'm sure he never looks at. So the odd thing is that i didnt' really spend that much time with my dad growing up since he worked alot, so these habits and ways of living my life are kind of more nature rather than nurture because this is so very not my mom. So i find it odd that the person i am most like is the person i spent the least amoutn of time with. We both have minor cases of OCD, we are both control freaks and get really stressed when things dont' go our way, we are both messy but anal, we both hate feet. the list goes on.
so anywyas i'm gonna go shower now, and wash the caked dirt from my body. nastiness.
but here is a little something for you all to read.
"uncle bernie"
he looks really old in that picture...and really mexican. In fact that picture of the wall in his office and teh bright reds and orages make it look like i live in chuntarro city.
Stephen and Jerri: my flight from Detroit to Phoenix
oh man so I am BACK IN LA!!! i tell you i have never been so excited to come back to california. The winter has been too long! i packed the most ridiculous things like mini skirts and flip flops. I guess the thought of having to wait another 4 months to wear flip flops was too much for me. and i don't even like wearing flip flops!! i hate wearing flip flops to be exact! but i don't care! I have not seen my feet in 5 months. these things change you. Anyways I had teh stomach flu for the past 2 days which was nothing but good times. Nothing like being incapacitated when you have to write a 20 page paper. Well so now I am in LA writing said 20 page paper, hoping i can finish by noon so i can go to the mall with Cathy and Bobby. I haven't been to the mall in 2 months since the last time i came to LA. Oh no wait it's only been liek a 1 month and a half. ha! i tell you it feels like years.
So anyways we had 45 mph winds last night leaving detroit which made for a really interesting take off. But luckily i had this real oversharer sitting next to me so she talked me past my usual turbulance induced panic attack. She was this old white youth minister and she told me about how she used to get panic attacks but she started takin paxil and now everyday is the best day ever. I was like "wow ok, thanks" subtext "so you're crazy?? cool" no no jkjk i have sympathy for these types of things. hello i'm a psychologist! And normally i'd be really against anti depressants being of the whole Cognitive Behavioral Therapy school of thought but she made it seem so appealing. that was until 2 hours later when she was still talking my head off about working with "ghetto children" and "black peopel and latinos" and telling me all thse typical stereotypes about them and how "they just don't want to work hard because workinf hard is looked down on in their culture." Thank you Ogbu, but i believe your theory was debunked a few years back. boo ya! i wanted to be like "lady i have a paper to write, so can you please stop talking." Because seriously this woman could not read social cues. So then i started reading adn she started wtching "everybody hates raymond" on her dvd player which she did not know how to use. hate that show. So she didn't plug in her headaphones but she had them on so the sound was all loud and it's one of those moments where you can't be liek "hey Jerri, you forgot to plug in the spekaers like this." just awkward all around. At least she didnt' try to convert me.
So i read some articles but then got really tired. I figured it was all teh vomitting and the fact that all i had eaten over teh past 2 days were 4 saltine crackers. when i woke up the nice old man next to me started talking to me. Ulike jerry HE was super cool. His name was Stephen and he was 89. 89!! he had served in WWII and was telling me all about being stationed in australia on a secret mission with macarthur's troops for 44 months and how he feels bad for all the kids in Iraq cuz they have to carry all those heavy supplies through the desert for a war that is wrong, which i'm sure peeved Jerri since she seemed to be a staunch republican and very pro war. But imagine, this 89 year old man who was anti the war. I figured he'd learned alot in life and had concluded "war, what is it good for? absolutely nothing." so then I asked him why he was flying to phoenix because something told me i could learn from this old man how to live a happy life. he had worked in paper printing and his grand son was a nascar racer. He was on his way to phoenix because a woman he had known when he ws 18 and she was 14 had found him on the internet. yes, old people google! I was like "wait so how are you on the internet?" thinking to myself, wow if this man has a blog i would totes read it! But alas he doesn't, he's just in the yellow pages. So this woman about a year ago got in contact with him and was like "my friend and i were googling all the people we grew up with and you are one of the only one's left alive! come to phoenix to visit me!" to which stephen responded "um i haven't seen you in 75 years. you're not trying ot get a marriage out of me are you?" to which she responded "oh no no no i already buried 2 husbands. i dont' want to go through that again. i just want a friend. it's hard with all this modern technology and things are so different. I just want someone from my era who understands what it's liek to be me." amen! isnt' that deep! Anyways so she was this hella cool woman who had gotten married young. Her husband died of leukemia at 45 and she moved to alaska to get away from it all. She worked on the pipeline there (oil i assume) and then met her second husband 4 years later, some type of engineer. They married and moved to idaho or iowa, one of the "i" states. And then he died a few years back and she googled Stephen and since then he has been visiting her a few times a year. And what they do is she likes to take road trips and drive from her summer fall home in the "i" state to her winter home in Arizona so right now they were gonna drive back to her summer home. And i was like "dude is she ok to drive?" and he said "oh yes yes she's a very good driver. she has a lead foot!" Anyways i don't knwo what i was supposed to learn from this man but it seemed something like carpe diem esque. Like i need to enjoy my life because it will be long and someday i will have many stories to tell of the days before the internet. Anyways it was all a very moving experience and i realized that this was way more interesting than writing a paper.
So now i'm home and i'm gonna go do my work but i thought i'd share.
So anyways we had 45 mph winds last night leaving detroit which made for a really interesting take off. But luckily i had this real oversharer sitting next to me so she talked me past my usual turbulance induced panic attack. She was this old white youth minister and she told me about how she used to get panic attacks but she started takin paxil and now everyday is the best day ever. I was like "wow ok, thanks" subtext "so you're crazy?? cool" no no jkjk i have sympathy for these types of things. hello i'm a psychologist! And normally i'd be really against anti depressants being of the whole Cognitive Behavioral Therapy school of thought but she made it seem so appealing. that was until 2 hours later when she was still talking my head off about working with "ghetto children" and "black peopel and latinos" and telling me all thse typical stereotypes about them and how "they just don't want to work hard because workinf hard is looked down on in their culture." Thank you Ogbu, but i believe your theory was debunked a few years back. boo ya! i wanted to be like "lady i have a paper to write, so can you please stop talking." Because seriously this woman could not read social cues. So then i started reading adn she started wtching "everybody hates raymond" on her dvd player which she did not know how to use. hate that show. So she didn't plug in her headaphones but she had them on so the sound was all loud and it's one of those moments where you can't be liek "hey Jerri, you forgot to plug in the spekaers like this." just awkward all around. At least she didnt' try to convert me.
So i read some articles but then got really tired. I figured it was all teh vomitting and the fact that all i had eaten over teh past 2 days were 4 saltine crackers. when i woke up the nice old man next to me started talking to me. Ulike jerry HE was super cool. His name was Stephen and he was 89. 89!! he had served in WWII and was telling me all about being stationed in australia on a secret mission with macarthur's troops for 44 months and how he feels bad for all the kids in Iraq cuz they have to carry all those heavy supplies through the desert for a war that is wrong, which i'm sure peeved Jerri since she seemed to be a staunch republican and very pro war. But imagine, this 89 year old man who was anti the war. I figured he'd learned alot in life and had concluded "war, what is it good for? absolutely nothing." so then I asked him why he was flying to phoenix because something told me i could learn from this old man how to live a happy life. he had worked in paper printing and his grand son was a nascar racer. He was on his way to phoenix because a woman he had known when he ws 18 and she was 14 had found him on the internet. yes, old people google! I was like "wait so how are you on the internet?" thinking to myself, wow if this man has a blog i would totes read it! But alas he doesn't, he's just in the yellow pages. So this woman about a year ago got in contact with him and was like "my friend and i were googling all the people we grew up with and you are one of the only one's left alive! come to phoenix to visit me!" to which stephen responded "um i haven't seen you in 75 years. you're not trying ot get a marriage out of me are you?" to which she responded "oh no no no i already buried 2 husbands. i dont' want to go through that again. i just want a friend. it's hard with all this modern technology and things are so different. I just want someone from my era who understands what it's liek to be me." amen! isnt' that deep! Anyways so she was this hella cool woman who had gotten married young. Her husband died of leukemia at 45 and she moved to alaska to get away from it all. She worked on the pipeline there (oil i assume) and then met her second husband 4 years later, some type of engineer. They married and moved to idaho or iowa, one of the "i" states. And then he died a few years back and she googled Stephen and since then he has been visiting her a few times a year. And what they do is she likes to take road trips and drive from her summer fall home in the "i" state to her winter home in Arizona so right now they were gonna drive back to her summer home. And i was like "dude is she ok to drive?" and he said "oh yes yes she's a very good driver. she has a lead foot!" Anyways i don't knwo what i was supposed to learn from this man but it seemed something like carpe diem esque. Like i need to enjoy my life because it will be long and someday i will have many stories to tell of the days before the internet. Anyways it was all a very moving experience and i realized that this was way more interesting than writing a paper.
So now i'm home and i'm gonna go do my work but i thought i'd share.
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
LA!!!
I am going to LA in 2 days and i am SO EXCITED!! I have these moments when i'm really tired and i have lots of stuff to do and all i want to do is take a shower and as i'm letting the water run down me i start to think "i just want my papi to take care of me." It's this wierd missing of my parents that's unlike anything i can explain. Like there are times when i just want someone to take care of my food and buy me toilet paper when i run out and get me medicine when i'm sick and do my laundry and all this stuff that takes so much time. I guess i just don't want to be an adult.
....but i digress. LA! it's my spring break, which is odd because usually spring break happens during the spring...So David's coming down and Bobby is gonna be in town and it is gonna be such good times. Here is the itinerary. We're gonna shop, visit little saigon, hit up my old high school hang outs (hermosa peir!!), skiffing and fishing in orange county, and dinner at a churascarria. mmmm beef. The theme is "the suburbs, this is my life: a looking glass into the life and times of Cathy."
so for now i count the hours, and do research. but tonight i took the night off. I had a nap at 8 (i know, who am i?) and for now i've been lying in bed watching ltos of TV like Dance Life and "engaged and underaged." Ever watched this show? It's peopel who are under 21 and getting married. Ok seriously this show is like watching a train wreck, you just have to keep watching! first off people get married for the dumbest reasons. secondly sad to say that most of these people will stay married in disfunctional relationships probably forever, which i don't know how i feel about that. But this show continues to make me fear not the thought of marriage but more the thought of a wedding. Weddings really freak me out. It's like a combination of everything i hate: flowers, white, long dresses that make short people look stumpy, hair spray, makeup, chicken cordonbleu, cake, diamonds. These are things that i could do without and yet these are traditional wedding fare. And i don't even like cake!! For me i just want to be in a photogenic catholic church, and then have a big party afterwards with no food, just liquor and good dancing and friends. But all that bridezilla stuff, and the year of preparation, and going into dept, like it's all too much. I remember my cousin's wedding was so stressful and the whole time she was really upset because things weren't perfect, and it was relaly nice! So anyways i dont' know what i'm talking about but i'm off to watch more disfunctional relationships on "the real housewives of orange county." Jo!! just break up with Slade already!!
....but i digress. LA! it's my spring break, which is odd because usually spring break happens during the spring...So David's coming down and Bobby is gonna be in town and it is gonna be such good times. Here is the itinerary. We're gonna shop, visit little saigon, hit up my old high school hang outs (hermosa peir!!), skiffing and fishing in orange county, and dinner at a churascarria. mmmm beef. The theme is "the suburbs, this is my life: a looking glass into the life and times of Cathy."
so for now i count the hours, and do research. but tonight i took the night off. I had a nap at 8 (i know, who am i?) and for now i've been lying in bed watching ltos of TV like Dance Life and "engaged and underaged." Ever watched this show? It's peopel who are under 21 and getting married. Ok seriously this show is like watching a train wreck, you just have to keep watching! first off people get married for the dumbest reasons. secondly sad to say that most of these people will stay married in disfunctional relationships probably forever, which i don't know how i feel about that. But this show continues to make me fear not the thought of marriage but more the thought of a wedding. Weddings really freak me out. It's like a combination of everything i hate: flowers, white, long dresses that make short people look stumpy, hair spray, makeup, chicken cordonbleu, cake, diamonds. These are things that i could do without and yet these are traditional wedding fare. And i don't even like cake!! For me i just want to be in a photogenic catholic church, and then have a big party afterwards with no food, just liquor and good dancing and friends. But all that bridezilla stuff, and the year of preparation, and going into dept, like it's all too much. I remember my cousin's wedding was so stressful and the whole time she was really upset because things weren't perfect, and it was relaly nice! So anyways i dont' know what i'm talking about but i'm off to watch more disfunctional relationships on "the real housewives of orange county." Jo!! just break up with Slade already!!
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
snow and ice
I really hate it here sometimes, and here is another reason why. Today i was walking to the bus so i could go take my stats midterm, clealry an awesome day already. So as i step out i begin to notice that it is quite nice and warm and the snow is actually melting. Could this be the beginning of spring. next thing i know i'm on the ground, yup it was that quick. Slipped right down a slope on some black ice. Apparenlty with all this snow melting the ground is still cold enough for the water the freeze and so what we have now is lots of ice, slippery scary ice everywhere, and i slipped in it. And no amount of hardcore winter boot can prevent you from the slippage that can occur with Invisi-ice. But here is the real tragedy. I look down to see not only is my knee bleeding but i can see the blood through the GIANT GAPING HOLE that is now torn in my jeans from the fall. My 4 month old Joe jeans!! $160 fucking dollar jeans with a hole in them! and no, it's not the kind of hole that looks intentional. I began yelling "fuck!!! shit fuck!!!" a lot but i had to press on because a test was awaiting me. I was more upset about the pants then about bloody knee.
Lesson learned, do not wear nice clothes in the winter. And i normally don't, it's just that all my crappy old jeans ironically enough had holes in them so i can't realy wear them. ugh. so i called david and he was liek "well THIS is why you need to get real winter shoes." to which i responded "what kind of shoes do you think i was wearing?" "i don't know, some of your cute, heels or something." To which i yelled back "DO YOU REALLY THINK I AM THAT DUMB!! i had snow shoes on!!"
So anyways let's see....updates updates. I went to a business school wine tasting party and got pretty drunk. Oh and all hte stereotypes about business school students being really douchie assholes are all true true true. This would be all of us afterwards attempting to take a picture.
a) drink more, which we did and
b) make turkey burgers on sunday night. So this was us doing a cheer for turkey burgers, which ended up being surprisingly delicious. I added my special mexican burger sauce which is ortega chilis mixed with tomatoe sauce. It's kind of a variation on ketchup. I also added avocados and jalapenos as toppings. dude they were BOMB!!!
Lesson learned, do not wear nice clothes in the winter. And i normally don't, it's just that all my crappy old jeans ironically enough had holes in them so i can't realy wear them. ugh. so i called david and he was liek "well THIS is why you need to get real winter shoes." to which i responded "what kind of shoes do you think i was wearing?" "i don't know, some of your cute, heels or something." To which i yelled back "DO YOU REALLY THINK I AM THAT DUMB!! i had snow shoes on!!"
So anyways let's see....updates updates. I went to a business school wine tasting party and got pretty drunk. Oh and all hte stereotypes about business school students being really douchie assholes are all true true true. This would be all of us afterwards attempting to take a picture.
the second try was much more of a success. What am i doing wiht my face????
It's Kebbbbbbyyyyne, hugo and fern looking oddly unexcited.
a) drink more, which we did and
b) make turkey burgers on sunday night. So this was us doing a cheer for turkey burgers, which ended up being surprisingly delicious. I added my special mexican burger sauce which is ortega chilis mixed with tomatoe sauce. It's kind of a variation on ketchup. I also added avocados and jalapenos as toppings. dude they were BOMB!!!
and then this was me in an attempt to look "natural" as i "frolicked" in the snow. cool huh. to bad it's all melted and icy. But it was a nice 3 days of white while it lasted. fact # 34993993, it does not have to be snowy and white to be ass cold. a little known fact, to us west coasters.
the next day i took a drive past the stadium and felt some eeeeeeemotions. i thought i'd tak ea shot for you all to see the midwesternesssssss of it all.
and here is another cool fact. if you take a picture with a flash while it's snowing the flash will reflect off of all the snowflakes like such.
now as an excercise in creativity (and an attempt to be interactive) eeeemagine that i have a bubble above my head. what do you think i'm thinking????? fill in the blank in the comments.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
How I learned to stop worrying and love the Ugg
So for many years now I have been saying how much I hate uggs. I mean they really are not a fashion statement. But now I live in perpetual winterlandia and I have come to understand that fashion does not always coincide with utility. So about 4 years ago it happened, the ugg fad hit California california
And thus goes the story of how I learned to stop worrying and love the ugg
Flash forward 2 years later, I move to
They are suuuuper warm, actually have really good foot support and have very good snow boot type soles such that if I ever have to quickly run outside to grad something I wont’ slip and fall. Would I buy another pair of ugg slippers when these get too old to you? Oh my god YES! Would I recommend to all my friends who live in cold weather to purchase a pair? Most definitely.
Then came winter boot shopping time. After my slipping on black ice experience early on I came to realize the importance of having shoes that were actually made for the snow. The first drop of snow came and it was like a giant ugg monster came and attacked
If you notice the sole actually does not have very good traction and therefore it is not a good snow shoe. On the other hand this model actually is made for cold, snow weather because the sole is completely different.
Anyways all these dumb ass
Now this all kind blew my mind because i think rolling out the uggs is really stupid and the shoes themselves are just really stupid, but damnit if i didn't really want these shoes. So i said again "i will give them a try and see how i feel." We are now in the heart of winter and I wear these boots almost everyday and they are extremely extremely good. I can walk for miles in them, they keep the whole lower part of my leg totally warm, my feet don’t get wet, I never slip, and they don’t look terribly unattractive and sloppy as most uggs tend to look. I guess you could say, I am a believer. I have come to understand the value of a good shoe, in a way that I could never fathom in
And thus goes the story of how I learned to stop worrying and love the ugg
cafe au laits: lesson #45 on how to live the good life on a budget
so i'm having a really nice relaxing night after a fairly stressful day/week. I turned in my problem set, prepped for a meeting wiht my scary professor in my professional development seminar class and then met with her. she said my paper was gonna be fine, then i worked until 6 at the preschool and i came home and chatted with peeps. Now it's like 10 and all i wnat to do is watch tv. so i went to the local bakery and procured myself a nice little cafe au lait and a brownie. The great thing about the cafe au lait is that it's essentialy a latte without the foam (i don't like the foam) and usually about a dollar less than the latte. Add this to my list of "lessons on how to live cheap but with style." Other things on this list include...purchasing quality instead of quantity. For instace, one really good cashmere burberry scarf that will last you for every winter you have to experience and will match with everything, vs 20 different chunky knit scarves that you will replace annually. in the end did you not just spend the same amount of money if not more? or one relaly good pair of cahsmere lined leather gloves vs annually buying cheap gloves from target that fall apart and don't actually protect you. you get the point. So anyways i'm sitting here drinking my cafe au lait, eating my brownie, wearing my ugg slippers (another good quality purchase that will last me for many many years. As much as i try to fight it ugg really does make a quality heavy winter product. someday in the near future perhaps i will write a little entry/homage titled "how i learned to stop worrying and love the ugg."), watching all the tv i have missed all week. Thsi will include the office, beauty and the geek finale (thank god, i can wipe this show off of my list of things to do now that it's over), the oc, ugly betty, dirt (i know, shameless), and grey's. will i watch all of these tonight? damn straight! why do you think i need the caffiene?
the importance of being cut
So sidebar, to give context to this story i have to first tell you guys that i have a part time job at a preschool/day care center. I needed extra money and i figured i'd worked at the stanford preschool so i was definitely qualified. yes, on top of being a top tier grad student (ranked number 3 this year, bitches!! learn about it!) i also moonlight as a child care provider. '
So anyways my story to you all is really a parable or sorts to teach you all a lesson. not really a parable but you get the message so just listen. I usually work in the 1 1/2 to 2 year old room with really mildly obnoxious toddlers. Seriously terrible 2's are not a lie. Anyways aside from making me realize that i will indeed make a good mother someday in the future (i think all women have this fear that we will fuck up our children because we won't be able to physiclaly care for them), it has also made me realize that i do'nt know if i ever want children. Something about taking care of 10 crying, pooping, snotty kids just really makes the whole "cute little baby" thing extremely unappealing. That being said i really actually do have genuine affection for these kids, some might even call it love. It must be that whole vagina/maternal instinct thing, because when they cry i just want to make them feel better, and when their shit smells really bad it's kind of special and sometimes when i've had a really bad day and the kids that i actually like smile and give me a hug it gives me the fuzzies all over and makes me think "i can do this!!" so i mean i guess i literally see the future in a baby's smile, or whatever that saying is. Oh and i can change a diaper in 15 seconds flat!
so anyways today one of the teachers from the baby room was sick so i got moved to that room since i'm technically a floater who gives assistance whenever needed. So they had this new little 9 month old boy, let's call him guiseppe, who was having his first day of childcare today. And guiseppe was SOOO CUTE!! i mean he wasn't a particularly good looking child but he was petite and had charisma and didn't cry and smiles alot and hadn't gotten that 2 year old baby stink yet. he still smelled liek powder and baby vomit, you know how baby vomit can smell nice? anyways we all talked about how much we liked him. So then one of te teachers went to change his diapers for the first time and she yells over "oooh we've got an uncircumcized one." All the teachers then joined in about how gross uncircumcized pensises were, because seriously they are. And then the teachers started listed off the boys in the preschool who were uncut and i said, "well his name is giuseppe, maybe his dad is european, italian or something. I mean they don't do it to their kids." everyone agreed that this was probably the reason in which case we cannot blame his parents for their cultural beliefs. But then later his dad came and picked him up and was in fact NOT foreign. He looked really young too, possibly a grad student. How grad students have babies and functioning marraiges and mortgages i do not understand.
so my point to you all readers is....if and when you decide to have children, please please please circumcize them. do you want your son to be ridiculed from day care until the end of his life???? Woudl you do that to a child just for the sake of whatever reasons people give for not cutting their children????? I mean i knwo it's sensitive issue but it's one that reaches far beyond their sexual partners. it's "ruuuuulll deep," if you will.
Now onto lighter topics. My flowers finally made it today, and they are actually quite pretty. I actually don't liek flowers that much (shh don't tell david) not because i think flowers are ugly but more because i think they are really really overpriced and in the end i say "if you're gonna buy me $50 flowers just buy me a nice belt or some cool earings or kiehl's hand cream or anything that won't die in a week." but in the end men don't listen and when i say that ,instead of buying the latter things they end up getting me nothign so the flowers will suffice. And i think tulips are my favorite flowers in theory. i like bulb plants. So my cousin told me this trick, because she used to live on top of a florist in berkeley who told her. apparenlty if you drop a penny into the vase where you have tulips, or any bulb plant i believe, the copper somehow gets into the water and the stems soke it up and something about that chemical mixture makes the stems stand up faster and longer. and actually one of the stems was wilting and it's now standing up straight (you cannot see in the pic). so there, that is your lesson for the day. pay it forward people.
Also note the disgusting mess i am living in, scarves, coats, knitting projects i have yet to start, books, articles...projects left unfinished all piled on my tacky hand me down table that was in my room when i moved in.
So anyways my story to you all is really a parable or sorts to teach you all a lesson. not really a parable but you get the message so just listen. I usually work in the 1 1/2 to 2 year old room with really mildly obnoxious toddlers. Seriously terrible 2's are not a lie. Anyways aside from making me realize that i will indeed make a good mother someday in the future (i think all women have this fear that we will fuck up our children because we won't be able to physiclaly care for them), it has also made me realize that i do'nt know if i ever want children. Something about taking care of 10 crying, pooping, snotty kids just really makes the whole "cute little baby" thing extremely unappealing. That being said i really actually do have genuine affection for these kids, some might even call it love. It must be that whole vagina/maternal instinct thing, because when they cry i just want to make them feel better, and when their shit smells really bad it's kind of special and sometimes when i've had a really bad day and the kids that i actually like smile and give me a hug it gives me the fuzzies all over and makes me think "i can do this!!" so i mean i guess i literally see the future in a baby's smile, or whatever that saying is. Oh and i can change a diaper in 15 seconds flat!
so anyways today one of the teachers from the baby room was sick so i got moved to that room since i'm technically a floater who gives assistance whenever needed. So they had this new little 9 month old boy, let's call him guiseppe, who was having his first day of childcare today. And guiseppe was SOOO CUTE!! i mean he wasn't a particularly good looking child but he was petite and had charisma and didn't cry and smiles alot and hadn't gotten that 2 year old baby stink yet. he still smelled liek powder and baby vomit, you know how baby vomit can smell nice? anyways we all talked about how much we liked him. So then one of te teachers went to change his diapers for the first time and she yells over "oooh we've got an uncircumcized one." All the teachers then joined in about how gross uncircumcized pensises were, because seriously they are. And then the teachers started listed off the boys in the preschool who were uncut and i said, "well his name is giuseppe, maybe his dad is european, italian or something. I mean they don't do it to their kids." everyone agreed that this was probably the reason in which case we cannot blame his parents for their cultural beliefs. But then later his dad came and picked him up and was in fact NOT foreign. He looked really young too, possibly a grad student. How grad students have babies and functioning marraiges and mortgages i do not understand.
so my point to you all readers is....if and when you decide to have children, please please please circumcize them. do you want your son to be ridiculed from day care until the end of his life???? Woudl you do that to a child just for the sake of whatever reasons people give for not cutting their children????? I mean i knwo it's sensitive issue but it's one that reaches far beyond their sexual partners. it's "ruuuuulll deep," if you will.
Now onto lighter topics. My flowers finally made it today, and they are actually quite pretty. I actually don't liek flowers that much (shh don't tell david) not because i think flowers are ugly but more because i think they are really really overpriced and in the end i say "if you're gonna buy me $50 flowers just buy me a nice belt or some cool earings or kiehl's hand cream or anything that won't die in a week." but in the end men don't listen and when i say that ,instead of buying the latter things they end up getting me nothign so the flowers will suffice. And i think tulips are my favorite flowers in theory. i like bulb plants. So my cousin told me this trick, because she used to live on top of a florist in berkeley who told her. apparenlty if you drop a penny into the vase where you have tulips, or any bulb plant i believe, the copper somehow gets into the water and the stems soke it up and something about that chemical mixture makes the stems stand up faster and longer. and actually one of the stems was wilting and it's now standing up straight (you cannot see in the pic). so there, that is your lesson for the day. pay it forward people.
Also note the disgusting mess i am living in, scarves, coats, knitting projects i have yet to start, books, articles...projects left unfinished all piled on my tacky hand me down table that was in my room when i moved in.
vday massacre
oh valentimmmmes day, how you perpetually suck. I feel like this day is a constant let down. either you have no one to be with or the person you are with disppoints you by not getting you what you want, and really what can you legitimately want on a fake holiday? i hate this day, and yet i still have expectations of the men i'm with, which makes me hate the day even more. Let us take a journey through v-days past....
February 14th, 1991, 3rd grade, the infamous daniel ybarra gives me a card with an eskimo on it that says...shit i can't remember what it said. it was a knock knock joke about being cold and picking me or something. crap, i odnt know. anyways he gave these cards to everyone, so in reality i was reading a bit much into the gift, thinking it meant he literally chose me.
February 14th, 1996, 8th grade, i get 4 anonymous valentine candygrams all from my secret admirer. I think finally, this might be it, my first chance to know what it's liek to liek a boy and have a boy like me back. turns out my secret admirer was this very wierd kid, the screech of our school only not smart. I think he's gay now. yes, this was the only man who admitted openly to liking me up until i was 18, thus causing me to have major self esteem issues for most of my youth. adolescence can be so damanging!
February 14th, 2001, freshman year of college. my first boyfriend, i think finally valentines day will not suck since it is supposed to be awesome when you have someone to share it with. I spent the whole night before writing valentines with my friend and making a mixed tape (it was good too) of his favorite songs. He spends the night doing a problems set. Morning comes and the dorm has all the guys surprise the girls waking us up at 7:30 and surprising us with roses. very cute. Then all day i'm thinking "what is he planning! what is he planning!!" ends up that he tags along wiht his roommates vday plans and they take me and roommies girlfriend to indian restaurant. I don't really like indian food as it gives me heartburn, but he somehow seems to forget this fact. The owners of the restaurant are really rude and make us wake 45 minutes to be seated (even though we have reservations) and another 30 minutes at the table to actually eat. We all conclude it is because roommate is white guy dating an indian chick and owners of the fine establishment do not approve. after waiting we decide to peace out. we are all so starved at thsi point that we say fuck it, and spend vday dinner at denny's where i believe i ate a club sangwhich. gotta love that club. my first real valentines spent all dressed up at denny's with my boyfriend's roommate. disappointment? i think so
February 14th, 2002, sophomore year of college, same boyfriend...does nothing
February 14th, 2003, junior year of college, same boyfriend does nothing again...are we seeing a pattern here, i think so. disappoinment? for sure
February 14th, 2004, senior year, my bff of life, ryan comes into town and we all decide to do a junior high style vday party. Ryan and i play our first game of spin the bottle EVER since we grew up sheltered christian school kids. Ryan has his first male kissing experience, leads to him finally coming out later that year. v. exciting for us all. Turns out spin the bottle, not so cool when played with women and gay men. disappoinment....not so much, kind of fun
February 14th 2005, master's year, i'm sure i was huddled up in el centro analyzing data for my thesis. clearly i have blocked out the terrible memory from my head.
February 14th, 2006, year in SF, again i actually have a boyfriend but alas, he is busy studying for boards or doing a rotation or having a test, or any one of the other millions of things med students do. a bit of a disappoinment, yes, but understandeable, of course. I think he took me out to dinner that weekend and bought me a black onyx bracelet....or maybe that was for my birthday
and now here we are present day
February 14th, 2007, and what do i have to show for it. let's see, we are in the middle of a snow storm, my clothes and car are getting all fucked up from the salt everywhere. David did attempt to send me flowers, but alas they didn't deliver them on time. i ate a rushed meal at a quick italian place and proceeded to statify untl about 8, after which time i went for a girls night in as we drank and did our nails and gossiped about things, like how our exes all gained weight and look bad now, and how grad student's lives are really depressing and leave you with nothing to say and how we kind of secretly love and own ugg boots despite the fact that they are really ugly (mine are leather and water proof so i think that somehow makes them acceptable, but it's still bad). So again i am here, no flowers, no candies, no teddy bears, no diamonds, sleeping in the cold, to wake up early and attend another awful stats class. It kidn of just feels liek any other wednesday in michigan to be honest. Valentines day stands for everything that i hate. I hate contrived celebrations and lame excuses to give gifts that are either useless or will die in a week. and yet...the day comes and i still have expectations. why do you toy with me so, vday!????
February 14th, 1991, 3rd grade, the infamous daniel ybarra gives me a card with an eskimo on it that says...shit i can't remember what it said. it was a knock knock joke about being cold and picking me or something. crap, i odnt know. anyways he gave these cards to everyone, so in reality i was reading a bit much into the gift, thinking it meant he literally chose me.
February 14th, 1996, 8th grade, i get 4 anonymous valentine candygrams all from my secret admirer. I think finally, this might be it, my first chance to know what it's liek to liek a boy and have a boy like me back. turns out my secret admirer was this very wierd kid, the screech of our school only not smart. I think he's gay now. yes, this was the only man who admitted openly to liking me up until i was 18, thus causing me to have major self esteem issues for most of my youth. adolescence can be so damanging!
February 14th, 2001, freshman year of college. my first boyfriend, i think finally valentines day will not suck since it is supposed to be awesome when you have someone to share it with. I spent the whole night before writing valentines with my friend and making a mixed tape (it was good too) of his favorite songs. He spends the night doing a problems set. Morning comes and the dorm has all the guys surprise the girls waking us up at 7:30 and surprising us with roses. very cute. Then all day i'm thinking "what is he planning! what is he planning!!" ends up that he tags along wiht his roommates vday plans and they take me and roommies girlfriend to indian restaurant. I don't really like indian food as it gives me heartburn, but he somehow seems to forget this fact. The owners of the restaurant are really rude and make us wake 45 minutes to be seated (even though we have reservations) and another 30 minutes at the table to actually eat. We all conclude it is because roommate is white guy dating an indian chick and owners of the fine establishment do not approve. after waiting we decide to peace out. we are all so starved at thsi point that we say fuck it, and spend vday dinner at denny's where i believe i ate a club sangwhich. gotta love that club. my first real valentines spent all dressed up at denny's with my boyfriend's roommate. disappointment? i think so
February 14th, 2002, sophomore year of college, same boyfriend...does nothing
February 14th, 2003, junior year of college, same boyfriend does nothing again...are we seeing a pattern here, i think so. disappoinment? for sure
February 14th, 2004, senior year, my bff of life, ryan comes into town and we all decide to do a junior high style vday party. Ryan and i play our first game of spin the bottle EVER since we grew up sheltered christian school kids. Ryan has his first male kissing experience, leads to him finally coming out later that year. v. exciting for us all. Turns out spin the bottle, not so cool when played with women and gay men. disappoinment....not so much, kind of fun
February 14th 2005, master's year, i'm sure i was huddled up in el centro analyzing data for my thesis. clearly i have blocked out the terrible memory from my head.
February 14th, 2006, year in SF, again i actually have a boyfriend but alas, he is busy studying for boards or doing a rotation or having a test, or any one of the other millions of things med students do. a bit of a disappoinment, yes, but understandeable, of course. I think he took me out to dinner that weekend and bought me a black onyx bracelet....or maybe that was for my birthday
and now here we are present day
February 14th, 2007, and what do i have to show for it. let's see, we are in the middle of a snow storm, my clothes and car are getting all fucked up from the salt everywhere. David did attempt to send me flowers, but alas they didn't deliver them on time. i ate a rushed meal at a quick italian place and proceeded to statify untl about 8, after which time i went for a girls night in as we drank and did our nails and gossiped about things, like how our exes all gained weight and look bad now, and how grad student's lives are really depressing and leave you with nothing to say and how we kind of secretly love and own ugg boots despite the fact that they are really ugly (mine are leather and water proof so i think that somehow makes them acceptable, but it's still bad). So again i am here, no flowers, no candies, no teddy bears, no diamonds, sleeping in the cold, to wake up early and attend another awful stats class. It kidn of just feels liek any other wednesday in michigan to be honest. Valentines day stands for everything that i hate. I hate contrived celebrations and lame excuses to give gifts that are either useless or will die in a week. and yet...the day comes and i still have expectations. why do you toy with me so, vday!????
Monday, February 12, 2007
READ THIS!
if you like decorating on a dime, or whatever the saying is you should read my friends journalish/blogish/whatever things.
mother fucking casemeister
she needs a following!
mother fucking casemeister
she needs a following!
Sunday, February 11, 2007
i'm back...
well it's been a whole 3 hours since my last post...
so much for not writing for a while. but i have things to say. so i was thinking a few things
a) so when i worked in an office i had so much time and no way to fill it. I used to spend my days trying to find stuff to fill the 8 hours of sheer boredom. blogging, reading blogs, gossip, chatting on line. I became very good at it, to the point where at the end of the day i thought "shit, my day is over and i didn't even get to the nytimes education section." and now i feel liek life is the direct opposite. I have so many ways to fill my days and no time to do it all. oh life, you slay me sometimes! Anyways think of all the time i wasted reading crap and "filling my time" when i could have been getting up to speed in my field. eeemagine. i tell all of you today, seize the day!
b) why do i always bullet point my entries? i'm not sure but i feel liek it's because when i read i like to make outlines to reference later with key points and somehow this has carried over into my journal writing. Also i am all about efficiency (in theory) and i feel like bullet points are extremely efficient not only for organizing your thoughts in a cohesive manner, but also just in allowing you to say what you want to say.
c) grammy's. corinne bailey rae singing "like a star" with john mayer's guitar singing background. Seriously, eeeeeemotions. Lionnnneeeelll singing "helloooooooo, is it me you're looking for." An Eagles retrospective along wiht a totally awesome rendition of desperado. LOVE. but more importantly shakira, girlfriend what are you doing. We get it, you have hips, you can belly dance. WE GET IT! but hey, remember back in teh late 90's when you were an artist and you were teh voice of my generation and you wrote beautiful poems and no one cared that your voice was a little wierd because you had lyrics with meanings. And remember when you played teh guitar????? ugh stop singing in english! stop focussing on the moves and start focussing on what and how you are singing! I am so upset. i feel liek she is feeding into the stereotype that latinas or as the grammy's said it "lateeeeeenas" are just sex symbols. we have talents too! spanish music is very beautiful and poetic! god!! i leave you with some old shakira lyrics...before this "hips don't lie" bull shit. '
voy a dejar
que mi guitarra diga todo lo que yo
no se decir por me
O quizas deba esperar
A que el insulto del reloj
Acabe de planear mi fin
Duelen tanto las sonrisas
Cuesta un mundo respirar
Es que no tenerte aqui y a me hace mal
Me sigue rodeando
La sombra de ti
Y siguen rodando por ahi
Todas las palabras que dijimo
Y los besos que nos dimos
Como siempre
How estoy
Pensando en ti...
i'm going to allow my guitar to say all the things i can't say for myself. Or perhaps i should wait until the insult of the clock finishing planning my demise. My smiles are painful, and it costs me the world to breathe. It's just that not having you here does me bad. and your shadow keeps surrounding me, along with all the things that we said, and all the kisses that we had. Just like always, today i'm thinking of you.
shaki, if you are reading this, for reals go back to your eesssspanish roots, return to your black hair and sing some songs con tues piez descalsos, cabrona!!
so much for not writing for a while. but i have things to say. so i was thinking a few things
a) so when i worked in an office i had so much time and no way to fill it. I used to spend my days trying to find stuff to fill the 8 hours of sheer boredom. blogging, reading blogs, gossip, chatting on line. I became very good at it, to the point where at the end of the day i thought "shit, my day is over and i didn't even get to the nytimes education section." and now i feel liek life is the direct opposite. I have so many ways to fill my days and no time to do it all. oh life, you slay me sometimes! Anyways think of all the time i wasted reading crap and "filling my time" when i could have been getting up to speed in my field. eeemagine. i tell all of you today, seize the day!
b) why do i always bullet point my entries? i'm not sure but i feel liek it's because when i read i like to make outlines to reference later with key points and somehow this has carried over into my journal writing. Also i am all about efficiency (in theory) and i feel like bullet points are extremely efficient not only for organizing your thoughts in a cohesive manner, but also just in allowing you to say what you want to say.
c) grammy's. corinne bailey rae singing "like a star" with john mayer's guitar singing background. Seriously, eeeeeemotions. Lionnnneeeelll singing "helloooooooo, is it me you're looking for." An Eagles retrospective along wiht a totally awesome rendition of desperado. LOVE. but more importantly shakira, girlfriend what are you doing. We get it, you have hips, you can belly dance. WE GET IT! but hey, remember back in teh late 90's when you were an artist and you were teh voice of my generation and you wrote beautiful poems and no one cared that your voice was a little wierd because you had lyrics with meanings. And remember when you played teh guitar????? ugh stop singing in english! stop focussing on the moves and start focussing on what and how you are singing! I am so upset. i feel liek she is feeding into the stereotype that latinas or as the grammy's said it "lateeeeeenas" are just sex symbols. we have talents too! spanish music is very beautiful and poetic! god!! i leave you with some old shakira lyrics...before this "hips don't lie" bull shit. '
voy a dejar
que mi guitarra diga todo lo que yo
no se decir por me
O quizas deba esperar
A que el insulto del reloj
Acabe de planear mi fin
Duelen tanto las sonrisas
Cuesta un mundo respirar
Es que no tenerte aqui y a me hace mal
Me sigue rodeando
La sombra de ti
Y siguen rodando por ahi
Todas las palabras que dijimo
Y los besos que nos dimos
Como siempre
How estoy
Pensando en ti...
i'm going to allow my guitar to say all the things i can't say for myself. Or perhaps i should wait until the insult of the clock finishing planning my demise. My smiles are painful, and it costs me the world to breathe. It's just that not having you here does me bad. and your shadow keeps surrounding me, along with all the things that we said, and all the kisses that we had. Just like always, today i'm thinking of you.
shaki, if you are reading this, for reals go back to your eesssspanish roots, return to your black hair and sing some songs con tues piez descalsos, cabrona!!
giving in to grad skewl
it has happened.
i have given into the grad school stereotype. all i do is study all the time and i find that even doing that wiht the occasional time to enjoy my life is still not enough and leaves me feeling like jesse spano "time time there's never any time! no time to think! no time to study!" cuz seriously 24 hours is not enough. I consolidate by doing things like eating and watching one show at teh same time so as to not waste precious time, but time still gets lost. It gets lost while i wait for the bus to school, it gets lost walking from the far parking lot to the library at night, it gets lost showering or just doing basic normal things. I haven't washed my hair in 4 days because i don't have the 45 minutes it would take to blowdry it. i am a shell of a human being...
Over the past 3 days i have done 3 different levels of television show cutting from my life. does that sentence even make sense! i can't even write anymore. So anyways, google calendar has kind of become essential to me, and consequently i am planning my weeks in advance and seeing that reallyi don't have enough time to watch all of my shows. so i did this first cut earlier last week where i took off unimportant shows like supernanny and desperate housewives. Then i did another level where i cut out new shows like the new survivor (despite the fact thati love love love survivor). And now today i had to cut yet another level where i did shows that i love but that dont' have any sort of real cliffhangeresque type plot to keep me watching like boston legal and friday night lights and medium etc etc. and i confess to you all that i was really really upset while making these cuts. Television is my life! it is one of the only things that i intrinsically love doing and the thought of cutting down my tv consumption to 5 hours a week was so upsetting to me. i cried...over television. and during my crying fit i kept thinking "this is so ridiculous but i cannot control my feelings and eeeemotions! i love television." Imagine for all you runners out there if you found out that you could only excercise one time a week. Would you not be very very upset? or that you could only eat 1 meal a day.
other things that i am cutting from my life: celebrity blog reading. I'm gonna make cathy consolidate for me interesting things that happen on a daily basis, but perez has become too much for me.
also: chatting online for more than 30 minutes. this one is gonna hurts as gchat is my main source of communicating with friends. But it's just too much time during prime study hours.
Oprah was talking about how you have to visualize yourself being successful because it's like making an order and getting a delivery or something like that. so i'm trying to visualize my success as a psychologist but i also have to put in some effort into the whole thing. And in the end i feel that while i'm taking on a new identity and new part of life i'm losing a huge part of who i am. and i know i know it's just televisiion and celebrity gossip but it's important to me. I know this all seems very melo to you but just imagine things that make you happy, that keep you sane, that you love doing, and imagine not being able to do them. But ok, back to oprah, so i need to make school and research what i love doing so this is the first step to changing my way of thinking.
so i apologize in advance my readers as posts will most likely be sparse over the next few weeks. either that or extreme downers. but it's not because i don't love you. It's more that my life consists of waking up, eating kashi, reading, going to class, eating a wheat sangwhich, reading, going to class, eating a lean cuisine, going to the library to read, going home and watching 2 hours of tv, and waking up and doing it all over again. so as you can see there are more important, interesting things to read about. Join me on this journey of self betterment (again, is this even a word?).
ok, i'm out
i have given into the grad school stereotype. all i do is study all the time and i find that even doing that wiht the occasional time to enjoy my life is still not enough and leaves me feeling like jesse spano "time time there's never any time! no time to think! no time to study!" cuz seriously 24 hours is not enough. I consolidate by doing things like eating and watching one show at teh same time so as to not waste precious time, but time still gets lost. It gets lost while i wait for the bus to school, it gets lost walking from the far parking lot to the library at night, it gets lost showering or just doing basic normal things. I haven't washed my hair in 4 days because i don't have the 45 minutes it would take to blowdry it. i am a shell of a human being...
Over the past 3 days i have done 3 different levels of television show cutting from my life. does that sentence even make sense! i can't even write anymore. So anyways, google calendar has kind of become essential to me, and consequently i am planning my weeks in advance and seeing that reallyi don't have enough time to watch all of my shows. so i did this first cut earlier last week where i took off unimportant shows like supernanny and desperate housewives. Then i did another level where i cut out new shows like the new survivor (despite the fact thati love love love survivor). And now today i had to cut yet another level where i did shows that i love but that dont' have any sort of real cliffhangeresque type plot to keep me watching like boston legal and friday night lights and medium etc etc. and i confess to you all that i was really really upset while making these cuts. Television is my life! it is one of the only things that i intrinsically love doing and the thought of cutting down my tv consumption to 5 hours a week was so upsetting to me. i cried...over television. and during my crying fit i kept thinking "this is so ridiculous but i cannot control my feelings and eeeemotions! i love television." Imagine for all you runners out there if you found out that you could only excercise one time a week. Would you not be very very upset? or that you could only eat 1 meal a day.
other things that i am cutting from my life: celebrity blog reading. I'm gonna make cathy consolidate for me interesting things that happen on a daily basis, but perez has become too much for me.
also: chatting online for more than 30 minutes. this one is gonna hurts as gchat is my main source of communicating with friends. But it's just too much time during prime study hours.
Oprah was talking about how you have to visualize yourself being successful because it's like making an order and getting a delivery or something like that. so i'm trying to visualize my success as a psychologist but i also have to put in some effort into the whole thing. And in the end i feel that while i'm taking on a new identity and new part of life i'm losing a huge part of who i am. and i know i know it's just televisiion and celebrity gossip but it's important to me. I know this all seems very melo to you but just imagine things that make you happy, that keep you sane, that you love doing, and imagine not being able to do them. But ok, back to oprah, so i need to make school and research what i love doing so this is the first step to changing my way of thinking.
so i apologize in advance my readers as posts will most likely be sparse over the next few weeks. either that or extreme downers. but it's not because i don't love you. It's more that my life consists of waking up, eating kashi, reading, going to class, eating a wheat sangwhich, reading, going to class, eating a lean cuisine, going to the library to read, going home and watching 2 hours of tv, and waking up and doing it all over again. so as you can see there are more important, interesting things to read about. Join me on this journey of self betterment (again, is this even a word?).
ok, i'm out
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
i choose my choice
wow so the past month i feel like i have been on the verge of a nervous breakdown which all culminated this week when my entire cohort cried in our class because our teacher told us the work we had done (a month's worth of research) was crap and we had to start all over. Needless to say we all had crying fits of panic. but as Jerry maguire said
"breakdown...breakthrough"
so some realizations i've made
a) i had to cut out like 10 shows from my season pass manager. it was just too much. I considered cutting out tv all together but truth be told i can't. You know when you talk to peopel who are so busy but they still find time to excercise and no one judges them cuz excercise is a socially acceptable way to spend your time. well tv is like my brain excercise. or rather it's the only time my brain isn't working and that's why i need it, for my sanity.
b) i have not excercised in 2 months. It's been too cold, and i've been too stressed and so today in the spirit of accountability me and some peeps went to the gym together and you know what...i ran 1.5 miles without stopping. amazing. also i lost 10 lbs last semester and didn't even realize it. bomb!
c) i realized that in order for me to succeed in this career every free minute of my time is going ot have to be spent doing research research research. it's actually really daunting because for every question that you have there are like 50 articles you have to read before you can even tackle that question.
d) the other day i was thinking "wow i never have time to read. i feel liek such a loser cuz i dont' read anymore. am i getting dumber?" then i realized that i actually read alot, it's all i do. I read journal articles and books about race and identity and achievement and i read. what i don't do is read for pleasure. the pleasure has been completely sucked out of the act of reading.
so i mean that's about it in my epiphany section. my life shall be extremely boring and highly miserable for the next few years. i choose my choice
"breakdown...breakthrough"
so some realizations i've made
a) i had to cut out like 10 shows from my season pass manager. it was just too much. I considered cutting out tv all together but truth be told i can't. You know when you talk to peopel who are so busy but they still find time to excercise and no one judges them cuz excercise is a socially acceptable way to spend your time. well tv is like my brain excercise. or rather it's the only time my brain isn't working and that's why i need it, for my sanity.
b) i have not excercised in 2 months. It's been too cold, and i've been too stressed and so today in the spirit of accountability me and some peeps went to the gym together and you know what...i ran 1.5 miles without stopping. amazing. also i lost 10 lbs last semester and didn't even realize it. bomb!
c) i realized that in order for me to succeed in this career every free minute of my time is going ot have to be spent doing research research research. it's actually really daunting because for every question that you have there are like 50 articles you have to read before you can even tackle that question.
d) the other day i was thinking "wow i never have time to read. i feel liek such a loser cuz i dont' read anymore. am i getting dumber?" then i realized that i actually read alot, it's all i do. I read journal articles and books about race and identity and achievement and i read. what i don't do is read for pleasure. the pleasure has been completely sucked out of the act of reading.
so i mean that's about it in my epiphany section. my life shall be extremely boring and highly miserable for the next few years. i choose my choice
Monday, February 05, 2007
hate
Guys, it is BEYOND cold. currently -21 degrees with wind chill, yes that's right, negative numbers. Last night we were all gonna go to a club for 80's night after this indian raas competition. So we walked outside and instnatly i felt this crunchy sensation in my nose. My boogers and nose hairs had frozen. About a block and a half later (this club was 4 blocks away) Nish was on the verge of tears and we were all about to pass out so we decided to fuck that idea, catch the nearest cab, and drive to kevin's house for some hotty tottys. We went back and had soy milk, nestle qwik (we didn't have hot cocoa) and peppermint schnapps and baileys.
I am currently sitting at my desk with a space heater, thermals, sweats, arm and leg warmers, and a blanket. and i'm still cold. why people settled here is beyond me. california 4 eva!!!
I am currently sitting at my desk with a space heater, thermals, sweats, arm and leg warmers, and a blanket. and i'm still cold. why people settled here is beyond me. california 4 eva!!!
Saturday, February 03, 2007
cold as (fill in blank)
I remember hearing that phrase "it's as cold as a witch's titty" and thinking how very descriptive. I had never actually felt how cold a witches titty could be but to put it in those terms made me think that it must have been some kind of cold. And it was never really cold enough for my nipples to cut through glass but as ann shirley would say, "i could imagine what it would be like to have nipples so hard they could cut glass."
Today we hit -4. THIS is most definitely what a witch's titty feels like. hands down. hands down! Oddly enough my nipples are still not hard enough to cut glass, which may be due to the constant double layer of fleece and down that surrounds them at all times. what makes it even more strange and depressing is that there isn't even really any snow on the ground. Growing up in southern california there was alwyas this assumption that winter and cold meant snow....tons and tons of snow. And the colder it got the more snow you got...blizzards worth. Well we have like a centemeter's worth of snow, it's not that fluffy, and you definitely can't make snow angels. but goddamn we have us some cold! But i feel like there is this wierd point at which the cold starts to get numbing and you don't even feel it anymore such that 25 degrees can feel a lot colder than the teens, because in the teens you are too cold to feel anything. but then there is that point when you hit single digits and negative numbers, and that is the point when cold is just cold, and there is no escaping it. It's the kind of cold where a hot shower can feel like knives hitting your skin, and putting your hands in front of the car heater feels like needles stabbing at your finger tips. It is the inescapable cold, or as a 5th year phd student phrased it "the butt ass freezing point." Tonight, my friends, we have reached the butt ass freezing point.
Today we hit -4. THIS is most definitely what a witch's titty feels like. hands down. hands down! Oddly enough my nipples are still not hard enough to cut glass, which may be due to the constant double layer of fleece and down that surrounds them at all times. what makes it even more strange and depressing is that there isn't even really any snow on the ground. Growing up in southern california there was alwyas this assumption that winter and cold meant snow....tons and tons of snow. And the colder it got the more snow you got...blizzards worth. Well we have like a centemeter's worth of snow, it's not that fluffy, and you definitely can't make snow angels. but goddamn we have us some cold! But i feel like there is this wierd point at which the cold starts to get numbing and you don't even feel it anymore such that 25 degrees can feel a lot colder than the teens, because in the teens you are too cold to feel anything. but then there is that point when you hit single digits and negative numbers, and that is the point when cold is just cold, and there is no escaping it. It's the kind of cold where a hot shower can feel like knives hitting your skin, and putting your hands in front of the car heater feels like needles stabbing at your finger tips. It is the inescapable cold, or as a 5th year phd student phrased it "the butt ass freezing point." Tonight, my friends, we have reached the butt ass freezing point.
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