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Sunday, November 01, 2009

yo yo bitches, wassup. life's been pretty hectic.

1. i broke my foot. it's a ridiculous story not because of the actual break incident but because of the circumstances surrounding the break. Nick's been staying with me because he hasn't found a job yet. Well to top things off the poor guy tears his achilles tendon a few weeks ago, has to have surgery on it, no insurance. It's liek a 6 to 8 month recovery. It's ridiculous. anyways so on our way to the supermarket i was walking out the front door wearing these
platformed monstrosities. Yes i wear my slippers to the market. Sue me. also i think i have learned my lesson since i stepped on an uneven part of the ground, fell off my platform SLIPPER and twisted my ankle. i felt like a giant jackass and i laughed in between my tears as i fell to the ground because i was like...we can't both be crippled. So i couldn't walk but luckily i had an old crutch from one of my many costume parties laying around the house. So there i was on one crutch with a giant swollen foot, thinking, "year of the dog!" So i waited a few days before going to the doctor. Nick kept telling me it would get better and i think i wanted to believe it because we could not both be on crutches. you 2 working legged people don't realize all of the things that you need 2 legs and 2 arms for. i know, because i didnt know until it happened to me. you cant' carry like a glass of water to the couch to watch tv. you cant' wash dishes very easily or cook or do ANYTHING. when you wake up the pee in the middle of the night it's so hard to hop to the bathroom. Anyways i finally went to the doctor and he took some x rays and said it was broken. excellent. So i was walking around on it in pain because nick was so embarassed of us both being in crutches that he kept being like "come on it's not that bad. you can walk without the crutches." So now i have this boot that i have to wear for like a month. Pros: i can take a shower and "walk." cons: it's not real walking. It's like when you walk with ski boots on only it hurts when i step down.

we have become a huge joke and people feel no qualms about commenting and laughing at us in public. Some teenagers heckled us at the movies. assholes. And people randomly ask us if we're both "handicapped" all the time. But since there is no able bodied person to help either of us we end up having to do things that people with a broken foot and achilles would not normally have to do. So we went to the market which was so ridiculous. Imagine a person with crutches driving around in one of those motorized wheelchairs with a basket in front taht goes 2 mph. Now imagine 2 people side my side. Yeah...that's what we look like EVERYWHERE WE GO. right now i just walk with one crutch so i end up doing lots of things around the house sinc ei have to most limbs. i'm worried i might not heal properly. Also nick is always trying to coax me to walk without my crutch because he feels like people stare less. and i'm like DUDE MY FOOT IS BROKEN!! but since relative to his tendon it's not so bad it makes me seem like a whiner or something. but seriously, my foot is broken. please give me some sympathy points.

so anyways halloween as lady gaga was kind of a bust. So i decided that we'd go as mummies. I made some KICK ASS mummy costumes that took me like 8 hours. ridiculous but so very me.


people asked if i was going to wrap toilet paper around us. WHO DO YOU THINK I AM, SOME KIND OF AMATEUR! this is serious stuff. i sewed all of the pieces onto some under clothes and covered our heads in tea dyed cheesecloth. serial. you can't see but trust me, it looked bomb. note nick's black boot and my grey boot. stylin! out in public people thought taht the crutches were part of our look and i almost fell over several times from people just stepping on me and pushing me around in a crowd.

close up of me and wolverine

nick and kim jong il
here we are eating soft serve fernando. not that i'm all about the slutty ______ costumes but this is by far the first time in a long time that i have not worn a leotard or mesh body suit as part of my costume. next year!

in other news i've been breaking out into intense body rashes for the past 6 months. daily. it's awful. it's like my skin is burning and i just watn to take it off. my allergist thinks it's some unknown allergy or i have a parasite. i'm kind of hoping for the parasite that way it can be treated and this wont' be some weird lifelong condition. People also think it might be stress related but come on, i can't not be stressed with what i do so that's not a solution. "oh just don't be stressed. take yoga." i hate when people suggest yoga. Anyways so i've had the skin test before and no one has any idea waht the problem is. my mom came into town and after an hour of being in town we were eating dinner and she goes "you eat onions now? you never ate onions growing up. maybe that's giving you the rash." Leave it to a mother to be able to notice these kinds of things. and it's true, i never ate onions growing up. i don't know why. i used to occasionally get these rashes a few times a year growing up but i never knew what it was. But now i'm thinking maybe it was like when i ate pico de gallo or those rare situations when onions were in something i ate. So now i'm gettign tested on tuesday to see if i'm allergic to onions which would be TRAGIC. i've grown to really like them. But it's the only new thing about my diet that i've changed teh past year. It would also mean i was allergic to garlic WHICH I'VE BEEN TELLING PEOPLE FOR YEARS AND NO ONE BELIEVES ME. assholes. garlic makes me vomit immediately. this would explain why. So anyways i dont' like garlic, so no big loss. but onions...this would be a tragedy. it would also mean i couldn't eat lots of pre made and packaged foods a la doritos cool ranch chips, my weakness, and i could pretty much rule out eating out for my meals. so while it would encourage a healthier lifestyle it would suck.

so anyways that's waht's going on with me. life is hectic as usual. did i tell you all i'm a professor now? i'm not just a TA. i teach my own course with all my own content and i make up my own lectures and all that shit. it's pretty tight