cold as (fill in blank)

I remember hearing that phrase "it's as cold as a witch's titty" and thinking how very descriptive. I had never actually felt how cold a witches titty could be but to put it in those terms made me think that it must have been some kind of cold. And it was never really cold enough for my nipples to cut through glass but as ann shirley would say, "i could imagine what it would be like to have nipples so hard they could cut glass."

Today we hit -4. THIS is most definitely what a witch's titty feels like. hands down. hands down! Oddly enough my nipples are still not hard enough to cut glass, which may be due to the constant double layer of fleece and down that surrounds them at all times. what makes it even more strange and depressing is that there isn't even really any snow on the ground. Growing up in southern california there was alwyas this assumption that winter and cold meant snow....tons and tons of snow. And the colder it got the more snow you got...blizzards worth. Well we have like a centemeter's worth of snow, it's not that fluffy, and you definitely can't make snow angels. but goddamn we have us some cold! But i feel like there is this wierd point at which the cold starts to get numbing and you don't even feel it anymore such that 25 degrees can feel a lot colder than the teens, because in the teens you are too cold to feel anything. but then there is that point when you hit single digits and negative numbers, and that is the point when cold is just cold, and there is no escaping it. It's the kind of cold where a hot shower can feel like knives hitting your skin, and putting your hands in front of the car heater feels like needles stabbing at your finger tips. It is the inescapable cold, or as a 5th year phd student phrased it "the butt ass freezing point." Tonight, my friends, we have reached the butt ass freezing point.