background

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

the gift...pay it forward

so tonight i went for a run and then i got in my car and drove to get something to eat because i was too lazy to cook and on my way home as Elvis Costello's "pump it up" was playing on the radio, which says nothing about my mood but is just an awesome song in general, i started to think "god, i can't believe this is my life." and i have ot admit to you that i say this to myself at least twice a day and sometimes I mean "god i can't believe this is my life, how shitty. i'm poor and stuck in fucking michigan and my boyfriend and best friends live somewhere else and i'm lonely and white people are so triffling sometimes and ugh." and then there are other times like today when i think "god i can't believe this is my life and i get to live in this really bizarre town and experience the midwest liek no other mexican from la has been able to, and i get to go to the best psych department in the country and give my opinions and the greatest thinkers in my area validate my opinoins and, THAT IS SO INSANE!! And my friends are awesome and brilliant and damn my life rocks!" liek i said both of these thoughts go through my head on a daily basis and today i started thinking...hmm so i'm gonna go home and be alone and it will be kind of lonely but how awesome is that to be able to expeirence lonliness and overcome it. what a gift!! speaking of awesome lives, cathy and i were having a deep discussion today about how we can't believe that we went to stnaford and what a gift but also what a burden that is because it means that we have this responsibility to do something, anything big for the world or whatever. and then she phrased it differently and i was like...wow deep. she said that it's not a responsibility but rather it's a privledge that we have that we can do anything in the world. THAT my friends is a gift. So now i tell you all my stanford friends that you have been given a gift, that only some 8000 people are year are given so don't squander that shit. find what you love, do it to your best ability, and fucking pay that shit forward. and it may get lonely sometimes and maybe you won't find a man or a woman or you wont' get that BMW (whatever, i'm gonna get mine) and maybe you won't get married by the age of 27 or maybe you won't be able to afford diesel jeans and burberry underwear but it will be worth it and your life will mean something and isn't that what we are put on this earth to do, find our purpose?

and with that i leave you with these very appropro talking head lyrics

And you may find yourself living in a shotgun shack
And you may find yourself in another part of the world
And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile
And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful
Wife
And you may ask yourself-well...how did I get here?

Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/after the moneys gone
Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground.

And you may ask yourself
How do I work this?
And you may ask yourself
Where is that large automobile?
And you may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful house!
And you may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful wife!

Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/after the moneys gone
Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground.

Same as it ever was...same as it ever was...same as it ever was...
Same as it ever was...same as it ever was...same as it ever was...
Same as it ever was...same as it ever was...

Water dissolving...and water removing
There is water at the bottom of the ocean
Carry the water at the bottom of the ocean
Remove the water at the bottom of the ocean!

Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/in the silent water
Under the rocks and stones/there is water underground.

Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/after the moneys gone
Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground.

And you may ask yourself
What is that beautiful house?
And you may ask yourself
Where does that highway go?
And you may ask yourself
Am I right? ...am I wrong?
And you may tell yourself
My god!...what have I done?

Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/in the silent water
Under the rocks and stones/there is water underground.

Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/after the moneys gone
Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground.

Same as it ever was...same as it ever was...same as it ever was...
Same as it ever was...same as it ever was...same as it ever was...
Same as it ever was...same as it ever was...

Monday, October 30, 2006

JOTERIA 2006!!

I received this email this morning and it was too ridiculous for me not to share. So I am making Ivan a guest blogger without him even knowing it. a few things a) context: bobby and ivan went on a gay cruise last week and i hate them for it because damnit all ot hell if i hvae not been trying to get them to go on a cruise for years now as a way of reliving my fantastic youth only with liquor. b) i think this is more evidence that me and my friends are truly some of the most awesome, fun people you will ever meet so be lucky you know us. no lie, i'm not being too proud, it's true, we are BOMB!! c) my favorite part is the allusion to Mariah Carey cribs, which i think really holds a special place in all of our hearts...Oh mariah, you're on fiya. And without further ado, GAY,

"All,


After a week of gay-ness of ridiculous magnitude, Bobby and I have returned to the straight world, hung-over and desensitized. The trip was so gay in fact, that Bobby and I could not help but give it the title of "Joteria 2006," a name that perfectly captures the extent of shameless homosexuality that was experienced. For all of you non-spanish speakers, a "joto" refers to a pansy boy or a homosexual and, by a simple stretching of the term, we get "joteria," or the flamboyant display of gayness, gayness at its best. GAY! We genuinely feel that what we experienced was unique and untranslateable, but we have pieced together a collection of quotes spoken by us and others that we met throughout the trip to give you, our friends, a mere taste of Joteria 2006 in all its brilliant and pink glory. This might be a little long, but it will definitely not be boring. Ask us to elaborate on any of these events.

Photographs are coming via bobby's email in a short time, so keep on the look out. We took a total of 300 delicious photos and we are condensing it all.

1.
"There is a certain level of taste…" - Yes. This is a saying that Bobby and I tossed around at the appropriate moments of our trip, namely when the taste level plummeted to an unsavory degree. For example, Deck 12 1/2 was appropriately called "The Goo Deck" because of the lascivious activities that took place there at night. I caught a glimpse of it when John, our fun Filipino friend from SF led me to the deck one night during a party to find a group of about 30 men huddled in a dark corner, shoulder-to-shoulder, engaging in public displays of affection that were certainly new to me. Needless to say, this situation deserved the remark.

2.
"I need to wash this escargot juice off of my pants." - My exclamation after dinner at the "Reflections" Dining Room where I tried escargot for the first time. I had to wash the stains of utter decadence from my pants after I spilled the slimy sucker on my lap.

3. "What about theeeeeeeeeeeeeese IDs?" - Bobby and I reminiscing about the time when Nuria slurred this drunken statement in front of a bar hop when asked for her driver's license, which she sadly left at home. She proceeded to posture her plentious rack in hopes of getting in using her feminine advantages. She was let into the bar on a technicality: BREASTS = IDs, yes, indeed, THESE IDs. We couldnt help but repeat it over and over until we could laugh no longer.

4. Man 1 to Man 2: "Where did you get your costume?"
Man 2 to Man 1 "Well, I went to the San Diego Naval Base, fucked an officer, and took his clothes" - A conversation that took place at the Solarium bar between a slutty Australian man that hit on me on several occasions and a second man dressed in navy attire. Incidentally, we kept seeing the Aussie walk home with a different man every time we saw him, clarifying for us that he was a fucking whore....hello! there is a certain level of taste!

5. "Why did I eat 9 fries when all I wanted were 2"? - Remark Bobby makes drunk after a party at 4 AM at the Clam Slammer, actually called Wind Jammer, the ship's 24-hour buffet. Running joke was that we called it the Clam Slammer, which is actually a funny name for a lesbian a la carpet muncher etc. The result was hilarity. Bobby actually did pick up 9 fries when all he wanted was 2, evidence of how gluttonous a 24-hour buffet could be.

6. "Can I have 120 seconds"? - Newly-coined Bobby-ism that was thrown in every time I asked if he was ready to move onto the next event or meal. Actually, although the saying was hilarious at the time, it actually proved to be true. After eating a tray full of food or drinking three long islands, a vodka martini, and the ice water from an ice container, you deftintely need 120 seconds before doing anything else.

7. "That's quite the modern arrangement" - This is a phrase that we used when we wanted to avoid coming off as total bitches when we were clearly criticizing someone's relationship. For example, at a nice dinner, we found out that our friends Marc and John had a relationship in which they oftentimes slept with a third and I expressed myself by calling it a "modern arrangement."

8. "Oh honey. You need to take a Barbie nap. Or disco nap. Whatever you prefer" - Vince, a cute and really gay 6' 4" Atlantis staff member introduces us to the "Barbie nap," which is like a disco nap, because it is really little and GAY! He also made the comment that if pirates raided our ship, they would run off with millions of dollars worth of sunglasses. It was true! Everyone had D&G, Chanel, Gucci, Prada, etc.

9. "I don't know, Ivan. Just place it thusly!" - Bobby responding to my asking him where to put his camera.

10. "Thank God we came down to get your camera THREE TIMES!" - Me telling Bobby how we came down to our room from the 80s party to get the camera on three separate occasions! We were so completely wasted that, instead of successfully doing what we came down to do, we just got another drink, took a shot, or put on a song like Maneater and danced while we pounded the next long island. BTW, we were the best dressed at the 80s party as the gays totally let us down that night.

11. "May I be so bold as to ask for a glass of water?" - Bobby's ridiculously funny question at the dinner table. It was proof that we were both acting like prudish and proper old women named Doris and Agnes the whole time. Another occasion of this was when we were at dinner and I asked everyone whether it would be appropriate for me to take the coffee out of the dining room. Well, the cheerful 50 year-old Rick responded to this with "You think THAT is inappropriate! People are fucking in the public bathrooms and you are worried about taking a coffee cup out of the damn ballroom!!"

12. "Ladies and gentlemen. Our departure time has been delayed by one hour as each of you fucking queens felt it necessary to bring 7 bags a piece on board." - Announcement made by Malcom, our hilarious cruise director on the first day as we left late from the San Diego harbor.

13. "OMG. My pant cuffs are soaked through with a combination of Smirnoff Ice and rain" - Bobby's remark after getting back to our room after the Latino Fuego party. There was Vodka everywhere!

14. Me: "Oh Bobby. He is from Riverside!" Bobby: "[Choke] [Cough] That makes me physically ill"." - Bobby responding to the cute guy I met from Riverside.

15. "Well maybe if your dick was as big as your mouth, you might have a FUCKING DATE!" - The lesbian comedian "Papi" responding to a loud male heckler in the crowd that would not shut up.

16. "Is that a humpback whale out there in the channel"? "No, that's just Barbara and her cooler" - Papi in reference to the Dina Shore convention. A shipwrecked lesbian in the ocean. enough said.

17. "I love nude beaches but I can't stand that one. Last time I was there, this 300 pound woman bent over. It was awful. Looked like a frozen TV dinner" - Dinner conversation with an older gay who told us about his experience at a nude beach. THIS is what dinners were like. EEEMAGINE.

18. "You know what would make this perfect sunset even better?… A drink"." - This was me as we watched a perfect sunset when we left Puerto Vallarta. We proceeded to get Tequilla Sunrises.

19. Bobby: "I had seeeeeeeeex." Me: "Me too… twice" - Bobby and I's first words when we woke up after the white party. Scandal ensued, let me tell you. Ask me for further details. The white party was fucking CRAZY. Apparently it went on till like 10 AM, but I noticed people leaving the party to fuck and come back. I mean, Im not innocent in of this, I know, but, just an observation. EEEEmagine an entire pool deck of close to 2000 drunk queens in white skimpy underwear and other costumes dancing and rubbing to their hearts content while dancing to a remix of Whitney Houston's "It's Not Right, But It's Ok"

20. "Can we make a new stateroom rule? Use only tones that would be acceptable in Mariah Carey's house" - Me making a stateroom rule after being hungover after the white party. At this point everything above a whisper is a jarring experience that needed not take place. I imagined Mariah Carey cribs and her soothing lighting and the most comfortable couches "in all the land."

21. Me: "Were you just reading in the tootie?" Bobby: "What the fuck is a tootie?" - For some reason, which I still cannot explain, I called the toilet the tootie and bobby found it incredibly amusing and we used the phrase the entire trip.

22. "SEA PASS!" - The most popular outburst of the trip, mostly because we got to do it every single time we bought a drink. The Sea Pass was our room key AND credit card which we could use to purchase anything from a massage to a drink. So slamming it on the counter eveytime it was used and screaming "SEA PASS!" was the most appropriate thing to do.

There is so much more to say about this trip that is too funny for words, but long-story-short, we could not have had a funner time if we tried. It was just BANANAS. But, on a less funny note, we met some really great guys and couples that were really sweet and have been together for years and years. Bobby and I agreed that the trip made us more proud to be gay men because no other demographic is more fun-loving, whimsical, could have more fun or carry on as much as the gays. Even the cruise crew loves gay cruises because we are fun, tip big, and are generally good guys. AND DRINKERS! They have to stock something like 5 times the amount of alcohol of a normal cruise to keep up with demand. We love the gays! Ask bobby and I to elaborate on anything you read for more detail.

Love,
Ivan and Bobby

GAY!"

Well all of this cruise talk got me reminiscing about my youth and the many cruises i have been on (in fact i TOO ate at the clam slammer 24 hour buffet). But my most favorite cruise of all was the cruise my whole family took in 1986. I felt it very important to juxtapose some photogs of this event so that you can see that cruising has not changed much over the past 20 years (holy shit that is a long time!!)

this is the quintessential cruise photo op. Basically the first day you get there after the boat takes off they make you do a life vest drill where everyone puts on their lifevests and heads up to the lido deck. It's supposed to be a serious event but it always turns into some excuse to take pictures with liquor and bright orange vessssssssts.
and now a shot from 1986. oooh not so different! BTW my dad and uncles broughts suitcases full of liquor "illegally" and this was just day one. eemagine how much liquor they had? eeemagine!!
gay discoing
(i kind of love that random guy in orange with his mouth agape like "oh my FUCKING god!!! that BITCH!!")
Discoing in the 80's.
yes that would be my mother being twisted in the cente.r There are so many stories to this picture. So the story goes a) our family was so crazy that even my cousin Jenny who was 8 at the time was partying in the disco until real late (notice her to the left next to the girl in the pink dress, also a member of our party. b) apparenlty the disco was dead so my dad started walking up to random people with his hat and putting his hat on them yelling "when the hat hits you, YOU DANCE!!!" and then performing a little rumba move in front of them. Kind of creepy but as the story goes within 30 minutes that dancefloor was bumpin and the hat was being passed around the discoteca, and for the rest of the cruise people on the ship would see our family and wave with delite. mood makers, indeed! c) my dad used to have this saying that went like this "for every tequila shot a button comes off!" as you can see in this picture the shirt is almost off. nuff said. I hope that this gives you a little glimpse into why i am the way that i am. how could i be normal?

beaching in the 2000's
beaching in the 80's. note how greased up everyone is. this was the 80's when coconut oil flowed like water.
Now onto two scary things that should have stayed in the 80's. yes that is me and my dad in a speedo. It's a shameful part of my life but i prefer to put those things out there and i have delt with it. This does not make up for the fact that that speedo did not get retired until 1999.
Ivan and CHARO!!! (this is not photoshopped!) i know i know you are all jealous. I mean fuck, it's charo!

Ivan prepping for the 70's disco party "i can kick stretch and KICK!"
and now i leave you with this image. no words...just...GAY

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

cutest baby EVER!

ok so i'm hella busy but i had to post this because i'm litrrrrrrrrrally having like physical eeeemotions when i look at pictures of this baby. he's so cute!! like i'm all giddy and making wierd noises that sound liek "eeeee" and "gahhhh." I will post more of him later doing wierd things like throwing up the west side sign but for now i leave you with this. Benny!!!!

As Ivan would say, "dddaaaaahhh!!!"

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

best diet ever

so i'm sitting in my room watching dancing with the stars with a nice cup of kombucha tea. gotta love the buch! anyways today i was so hardcore and got back late from statifying with the FOB but i realy wnated to go for a run because, damnit, if i didn't do it now i was never gonna do it. So i fucking threw on a thermal under my shirt, put on some gloves, some ear covers and leggings and i ran. i fucking ran!! and it was all up hill. i ran on the side of this highway that leads to north campus and the sky was kind of darkening and looking very gray and the lights were dim and the air was so clean. it was like the cleanest air i had ever breathed in my life. and it was like 35 degrees and the trees were almost barren of leaves all but the coniferous trees and the whole woods smelled like...woodchips? no it smelled like christmas. and i had to stop and just stare and admire, kind of like on season 5 when dawson's dad dies and right before he dies they show tha the was happy cuz he stops to admire his life and they are playing james taylor "Fire and rain." It was just like that. i was like..at peace with life. And i had this epiphany when i thought to myself..."you know, i'm gonna miss this someday. Moments like this are what i am going ot miss about t his place." Really quite stunning i must say.

speaking of working out i have not done it so far like 2 weeks and i feel like crap. but on a happy note my diet knowns as "poverty" has been working. This diet consists of not eating certain foods that are bad for you mainly because you cannot afford them. chips, cookies, ice cream, these are all extra costs that poverty does not include. hoorah for poverty! hoorah for stipends! Also my asian friends suggested i drink 3 cups of green tea a day and 4 words, "secrets of the psillium." dude, asians are skinny, so i believe them. and it's working! yesterday i went to american eagle as i plan on exploring the world of herringbone skirts and tights, so i wnated to sample before i committed to a location. I sampled and was quite happy to find that i fit into a size 4 again! i have not fit into a size 4 since i was 21. it was quite awesome. i mean granted in adult sizes since i'm petite i can fit into small small sizes but this is teenage sizes. teenage sizes always shock you when you try them on and are like "what i wear an 8???" what's my motivation, you ask? summer 2007 in ibiza with the gays. it will be RIDIC!! like serioulsy we are going to lounge and drink and club all night long and i need my thighs not to touch for when i wear my white and gold bikini. god it will be sooooooooo gooooodddd!!! eeeeeeeemmmmaaagine!! poverty people!

Sunday, October 22, 2006

"I am keishawn!"

so the other day in my motivation class this crazy white girl who always talks about random shit that no one cares about said something very offensive but also extremely hilarious!! let me set the scene. she did teach for america (blah, we already know my feelings on this) in phoenix and loves to talk about how all her students were "lateeeno" with an accent and so she understands now about inequality in education and what not. riiiiiiighhhht. ok so the scene goes like this:

we were all sitting in class, a class with about 5 black people, 2 mexicans, and 5 white people and an asian and we were talking about how to get students (not minority students, just students) more intrinsically motivated to like school and learning for the sheer value of learning, vs. students who are extremely unmotivated. so CWG (crazy white girl) raises her hand and is like

"ok so...it's a nice idea to motivated studetns who are not motivated but how do we realistically do this. because i mean when i see a student and i'm just like...Keishawn, how do i motivate you!????"

now mind you all of the white people i have told this story to kind of just stand there like...um ok what's the big deal. the people of color on the other hand who have heard this all open their mouths really wide and say "nooo shheeee didn't!!!" well anyways the whole keishawn thing got the class in an uproar and everyone was laughing because it was so ridiculous and so offensive because clearly all unmotivated studetns are black and all black people have crazy names like keishawn. clearly, CWG!! so at this point the whole class is trying really hard not to laugh too much but we all bust out and this black girl latoya (ironically enough) yells out "she did not just say keishawn!!" and everyone started laughing harder and the worst part was that CWG didn't even realize she had been offensive. she thought we were laughing at the fact that she was so passionate about these issues of helping little Keishawn. wow...just wow.

i think this serves as a nice little example of what grad school is really like. so then my friend Jamaal and i were talking while CWG was going on and on about motivating the unmotivated and jamaal was like "next week i'm signing my class email to you all 'from keishawn'." I laughed but then i thought about this and i told fernando last night when we were having a party at my house that in reality there is a little bit of keishawn in all of us students of color and maybe we should all sign our emails keishawn in a very "i am spartacus" kind of way. At which point fernando kind of took it to a whole knew level by adding that we should make t shirts that said on the front

I AM KEISHAWN

and then on the back they should say

MOTIVATE ME

so true guys, so true. So today or tomorrow or whatever when you are attempting to get something done and you just can't get motivated think of the keishawn in all of you, and stand up with pride and say to yourself "i am keishawn!!"

*** BTdubs the spelling of keishawn came about when jamaal and i discussed it during class. Like how do we really spell keishawn....and this is the spelling that we came up with.

Saturday, October 21, 2006

the bottom few posts i decided to write in separat sections because there were too many pictures to post. so read from the bottom up and enjoy.

trannies and babies PART IV

tailgating is a good idea but when you wake up at 8:30 with the worst headache of your life and you feel like you might die it doesn't seem so grand as it once did. With that feeling of death we all woke up and headed to Asia SF for the find gender illusionists and dining. just think about it...asian fusion cuisine and drag queens dancing and serving you. quite exotic.

here are some pics of the super hot hotties of asia sf

and then there was this really sad, preop tranny who was like...so not cute and so not sexy, and for her routine she sang "all by myself." we all agreed that she truly was the saddest girl to ever hold a martini. truly
Here are all our faces of SHOCK! SHOCK I SAY!
"Oh my god i SHOULD be a tranny with my legs!"

"how is it that they have better asses and tits than me???? i'm a woman goddamnit"

"I wish i had a faching so i could wear fabulous clothing and tassels"


So the next day david and i drove out to marin to visit my cousin and her new baby. the cutest baby ever!!

seroiusly look at this and tell me he isn't objectively speaking super cute! i present to you, little Benny!

On the way back we got a really rude awakening because we drove with the windows up and idnd't realize that david's dad's chevy corsica actually leaked gas and so we got the the new bloomingdales in union square and felt really tired and groggy and sick and nautious and like we were GOING TO DIE! i proceeded to have a massive anxiety attach about possibly dying of gas poisoning in the food court and david was freaking out too but after an hour and an ice cream we were kind of fine so we shopped. I bought 2 new pairs of joe jeans and a couple pairs of boots. i believe this takes the officialy boot count up to 6. why??? why????

drunk PART III

I like to call this section of pictures "drunk" because we were and that is the only way to explain some of the pictures


I brought this toolbelt for ivan and bobby to take on their gay cruise and then i had this epiphany. The toolbelt could also hold various things like...my drink, tapatio hot sauce, chili con limon powder, and I can’t believe it’s not butter…spray.

I don't know wha ti'm doing here but it looks like hard work
so then cathy packed up some drnks in her mini cooler for the walk to the stadium. you never know who might dehydrate on the way and need a quick beer
don't we look like the fucking reservoir dogs or something!!

i definitely look like i'm on the verge of passing out at this point
then we got into the stadium. so pretty!
nuria starting giving gilbert a lapdance. nothing new about that. it's just like vegas all over again
cathy was excited about the game before she realized...

how much we sucked
Ivan on the other hand opted for reading the New Yorker instead of watching the game. who goes to a football game and reads the new yorker!
then david made me go on the field and take a picture with the arizona mascot, wilma. blah
we went to the student section and i got mocked for wearing my shirt and someone made me cry and i was extremely eeeeemotional So I ate some of cathy's popcorn and felt significantly better
So the game was officialy over and we officially lost, big surprise. We all agreed that tailgating was in fact quite awesome. Football games on the otherhand are a total buzz kill. Thus we vowed that the second time around we would stick to the drinking in a field and avoid the game altogether. We were also all REALLY hung over. All except for cathy who decided that she'd take her harajuku lover roller blading around campus. sometimes cathy is hopeless
The rest of us other the other hand were HELLA hung over at this point...at 4pm in the afternoon. So we got into david's ghetto (but not fabulous) chevy corsica. Bobby was quite shocked because he had never driven in such a jacked out car

PreGameing PART II

Wow so I have had almost a week to process it and to get the liquor out of my system and now I feel that I can very aptly retell the tails of Saturday, the big tailgate. As usual (despite my warning people that we were not going to be on Mexican Time) people were running late and david was rushing me because he didn’t want to miss kick off. Granted it was 10 am and kick off was at 2:30 so I figured we’d make it with time to spare. In honor of my first tailgate ever we decided to go cash money bling style and buy various brats from an actual butcher, as opposed to the bargain pack at safeway. Yes, this was going to be a very classy affair. We also bought a gigantic handle of vodka and a lot of beer. I did not eeemagine that we would finish it all but I was really underestimating the drinking power of getting 7 mexicans together and a Vietnamese. Since my words can’t really do the story justice I will tell it in pictures.

Upon our arriving we realized that bobby's grill was very dirty and unusable, so he got down on his hands and knees and proceeded to clean. How very common!! How very plebian! But we all know, as cathy has commented many times before, bobby is no stranger to getting down on his knees. OH SNAP!! Here is bobby slaving away over a grill

This would be my first drink...a bloody mary, breakfast of champions. My morning victuals. All the essential vitamins and nutrients one needs, and with a nice celery stick included, to burn the calories that you are taking in. How fabulous!

I believe we are all on our first drinks and still looking somewhat put together. Do you like that little tempting piece of flesh I am showing. Ooh the seduction, I’m sure! Cathy brought out her athletic gear and ivan brought out his “Stanford English” t shirt since he doesn’t actually own any sports wear that has sleeve. One word: GAY!

I'm gonna guess that cathy is on her 4th drink? i don't really know what she is doing.

So then we popped open david’s SUV which we all agreed was v. cruc to the situation, and proceeded to blast ethnic music to our chagrinned white neighbors. Speaking of our white neighbors they had matching chairs and table cloth and even a floral center piece! Add that to the list of necessary items for next years tailgate. Check.

Brats and corn! what a team!!

David being all manly with his Tecate and brats.

I love this picture because it looks like ivan and i have massive sexual tension between the two of us. and yet...GAY!!

SF Weekend PART 1

here was what i wrote on my way to SF at the airport in Dallas Texas

So I kind of made a big snaffu and when I booked my flight to SFO using some american airlines credits I had. I accidentally booked it through dallas texas. What I think happened was I saw the D and I read Dallas but my mind processed Denver. Mostly because flying through dallas is ridiculous and stupid and further than just flying straight to sfo. Yes, this is very very true since it will now take me 4 hours to get from Dallas to SFO. It was one of those moments you see in movies where I’m on the plane and I get all comfortable and the stewardess is like “good morning we are on our way to Dallas/Ft Worth” and suddenly I opened my eyes and said “what!! Shit!” utterly wretched. Wretched!!!

Well now I am here in Dallas/ft worth texas and it’s a very weird places. So many Mexicans!! So nice! Lots of black people. I am not the only brunette with olive colored skin. I feel good about myself as a validated human being once again. Texas, who knew? To commemorate my time here I contemplated buying some of that “don’t mess with texas” crap in the gift shop. I was really close and kind of really wanted a t shirt. I still might get one. Also key to note there are people in this airport wearing lots of cowboy bopts and lots of cowboy hats. V. interesting. Sucks though that I’m stuck here for another hour only to take a 4 hour flight. God that was real dumb of me

CNN is showing that it’s snowing all weekend in Michigan. Ha! Fuckers! .

Sunday, October 15, 2006

what a ridic day we all had yesterday. drinking in the afternoon does not lead to good times in the pm. will update later with pictures that include tool belts, brats, corn, and drag queens.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

things i hate

Guys so yesterday i was browsing through my space as i am apt to do on nights when i am procrastinating and i came upon this girl from my high school who i was not yet friends with. I noticed that her profile was blocked and only viewable by her friends. damn! why do people do this! Clearly i requested her friendship right then and there. the reason i was curious about her was not that i really cared but rather that she was one of my least favorite people of all time in my teen years and so i really wanted to see what she was doing as a means of mocking her. Clearly, i am a horrible person but I have come to terms with that, so you should too. Anywys she's still dumb and becoming a model in taiwan or something. Anyways what i wanted to talk about was her profile.

"I am about the BIGGEST DORK you will ever get to know or meet and I will be the first to admit it. haha. I love to read, eat junk food, watch movies all day long, take naps, write music, and sing. Music is my ultimate passion. I hope to touch people's souls with my work. I recommend 'The Alchemist' for inspirational reading material. It happened for me.... I was going to school for my business and marketing degree when I landed the opportunity to travel the world and make good money (SCHOOL MONEY! YEA!) I freelance work for a number of model/talent agencies. I'm also living my dream....music....as I mentioned before. When all this excitement dies down then I hope to go back to school and finish the two years that I have left. Maybe then I'll be able to find my prince charming, get married, and have a family of my own."

now there are just so many things wrong with this. First off, no, you are not a dork! i am a dork! you, you my friend, are not a dork. I hate when people who clearly mocked you for being a dork in your youth and made you feel liek a wretched and horrible person comeout with shit like this that they are the worlds biggest dork. fuck you! first of all dorks are smart. yeah, that's all. Call me caddy but goddamnit i did not work my ass off this hard in school for some stupid bitch to claim that she is a dork. Maybe i'm just bitter because i spent 8 hours in the library today, AND I LIKED IT. That my friend, is being a dork. BTW, reading the alchemist does not make you a deep person, nor does it make you a lover of books. shut up. Also college is not for finding a husband and getting married! it's about learning! god i hate women! i hate them all.

Also this alchemist thing got me talking wiht emily earlier and i was noting how she should write a column titled "smart things that dumb people like for the wrong reason and smart people like for the right reasons." The alchemist is one of those things. dumb people LOVE this book. and it's a fantistic smart book but to say that you are following your personal destiny by modeling in taiwan i feel really doesn't quite grasp the purpose of the book. Another thing that we discussed was "gone with the wind" and how dumb people always list this as their favorite book and it is a great book but we were trying to figure out why so many dumb women love this book. And we realized, it's probalby because they think it is a love story when in reality it's not and they think scarlet and rhett are mfeo and they are but because they are both HORRIBLE HORRIBLE HUMAN BEINGS. And scarlett herself is a wretched woman and that's why you love her. And thus, dumb people like that book for the wrong reasons and smart people like it for the right reasons. another example, the show "the bachelor." dumb people think this show is so romantic and all about finding love. Smart people think it's a horrible representation of how fucked up women and men in our society are that they don't actually know what love is. it's more than a fucking wedding people!! And i think the producers of this show are smart enough to see that and mock the people on teh show judging from the women they choose and the editting they do. Other things include but are not limited to "eternal sunshine of teh spotless mind" "garden state" and the broad category of "foreign films" and usually what they mean by foreign films is "life is beautiful." you, yes all of you, i hate you all. Especially you roberto benigni

onto more calming positive imagery. today during my 8 hour shift at the library i found a carrol that had a window to campus and it was sooo...just...yeah...so. It was dark and dreary and i was on the 4th floor so all i could see were the orange and red tops of trees and the wind was blowing the leaves everywhere and there were red brick buildings all under the trees and it was magical, like hogwarts or something. and i felt like really, deep, or something.

** edit another thing to add to teh list: "breakfast at tiffanys" dumb people think this is a love story. he's gay people!


Tuesday, October 10, 2006

cutest video EVER

ok this shit seriously made me cry. Thank you Ramit, for paying it forward.

Literacy is cute

leaves and shit

to my peeps on the west coast:

You know how when you got to college and all of the east and midwesterners kept mocking you for not knowing what a real fall is like? and you kept wondering, wow do leaves really fall and form giant piles into which you can jump and frolick etc etc. Well I am in it, officially. fall that is. I am in fall. And it's true, there are a lot of leaves, everywhere. But coming from the very pristine well cleaned up area of Palo Alto i keep thinking "why doesn't someone hire a gardener to clean this shit up! preferably a mexican one!" Let me tell you a the little realities of fall. There are leaves, but there is also rain and rain plus leaves just means lots of wet piles of orange crap. there is also wind and cold. It's kind of dirty, i will be honest. Basically what i'm saying is those people lied to us and made us feel liek we were misisng out. To them i say, Give me palm trees and sun all year round!!

ok ok maybe i'm being too harsh. The other day i was taking a nice run through a park (i know!) and i saw this tree and it was all kind of beautiful orange and red almost as though I was moses and this tree was on fire telling me the ten commanments (religious imagery, anyone anyone?). And i stopped my jog and went up to the tree and pulled off a leaf, the most beautiful leaf i could find. Well you know what? That leaf was not that beautiful apart from the other leaves. It kind of just looked dead in my hand. And that's when i realized, that leaf outside of the context of that tree and that park and that moment meant nothing. It was all of that together that made it beautiful. And i don't know how that all relates to fall and my opinions on it, you tie it all together but there it is.

Today it's a bit chilly, odd really since yesterday it was 75 degrees! But according to the weather this thursday is set to have snow showers. snow showers! What the hell is a snow shower? is this different from let's say...snowing or a snow storm or really cold rain? these are legit questions i think. oh ann arbor, you slay me with your cunning ability to throw me for a loop. What will you do next!

on that note i leave you with pics of this past weekend. I'm sad to say i had left my camera in my office desk which is why there aren't more full body shots of me. it's tragic really.

here we have a waist up of the costume, which has been discussed at length. what is horribly unfortch is that you couldn't see the lower half of my body. so sad. If you look closely you can see my fanny pack. also interesting to note...my breasts look HUGE. must be an angle thing. This is early in the night...drink 1 maybe?

ah yes...drink 2. i believe i took the "groomsman el super" flask from my fanny pack and spiked it a bit. it was hella weak. Nishi went as a punk and Fernando went as super P man. We thought that was lame and told him he shoudl just say he's "Pedro the mexican." Pedro the mexican and Drew the Pool boy
I think some people refer to this as "bringing sexy back."???
yes yes i think so

Me and Asian Jenn, before she and fernando snuck off to make out on the side of the building.
Pedro and Hugo guest starring as "pepper"
This is one of those pictures that really needs context but that you were way too drunk to remember the context. for instance...what was i singing? clearly it was very eeemotional. I am going to bet my money that it was an 80's song for sure.
I distinctly remember at this point hugo yelling "do the chicken dance, yo, do the chicken dance!!!" beyond that it's a bit of a blur. Also important to note, this shall be my face for the rest of the pictures. clearly i was very excited.
Hugo looks pissed. like someone told him that Taco Bell had gone bankrupt. what!!!! say what!!key to note in the next 2 pics...how fernando's face goes from "i'm about to pass out" to "what time is it guys i'm getting tired."

and that was kind of it for the night. Nishi's camera was dying of battery which is why all the pics look really rushed. cuz we kept yelling "quick the battery is gonna die! quick!! oh wait it didnt' die yet??? ok ok quick another before the battery dies!!"