so tonight i went for a run and then i got in my car and drove to get something to eat because i was too lazy to cook and on my way home as Elvis Costello's "pump it up" was playing on the radio, which says nothing about my mood but is just an awesome song in general, i started to think "god, i can't believe this is my life." and i have ot admit to you that i say this to myself at least twice a day and sometimes I mean "god i can't believe this is my life, how shitty. i'm poor and stuck in fucking michigan and my boyfriend and best friends live somewhere else and i'm lonely and white people are so triffling sometimes and ugh." and then there are other times like today when i think "god i can't believe this is my life and i get to live in this really bizarre town and experience the midwest liek no other mexican from la has been able to, and i get to go to the best psych department in the country and give my opinions and the greatest thinkers in my area validate my opinoins and, THAT IS SO INSANE!! And my friends are awesome and brilliant and damn my life rocks!" liek i said both of these thoughts go through my head on a daily basis and today i started thinking...hmm so i'm gonna go home and be alone and it will be kind of lonely but how awesome is that to be able to expeirence lonliness and overcome it. what a gift!! speaking of awesome lives, cathy and i were having a deep discussion today about how we can't believe that we went to stnaford and what a gift but also what a burden that is because it means that we have this responsibility to do something, anything big for the world or whatever. and then she phrased it differently and i was like...wow deep. she said that it's not a responsibility but rather it's a privledge that we have that we can do anything in the world. THAT my friends is a gift. So now i tell you all my stanford friends that you have been given a gift, that only some 8000 people are year are given so don't squander that shit. find what you love, do it to your best ability, and fucking pay that shit forward. and it may get lonely sometimes and maybe you won't find a man or a woman or you wont' get that BMW (whatever, i'm gonna get mine) and maybe you won't get married by the age of 27 or maybe you won't be able to afford diesel jeans and burberry underwear but it will be worth it and your life will mean something and isn't that what we are put on this earth to do, find our purpose?
and with that i leave you with these very appropro talking head lyrics
And you may find yourself living in a shotgun shack
And you may find yourself in another part of the world
And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile
And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful
Wife
And you may ask yourself-well...how did I get here?
Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/after the moneys gone
Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground.
And you may ask yourself
How do I work this?
And you may ask yourself
Where is that large automobile?
And you may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful house!
And you may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful wife!
Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/after the moneys gone
Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground.
Same as it ever was...same as it ever was...same as it ever was...
Same as it ever was...same as it ever was...same as it ever was...
Same as it ever was...same as it ever was...
Water dissolving...and water removing
There is water at the bottom of the ocean
Carry the water at the bottom of the ocean
Remove the water at the bottom of the ocean!
Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/in the silent water
Under the rocks and stones/there is water underground.
Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/after the moneys gone
Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground.
And you may ask yourself
What is that beautiful house?
And you may ask yourself
Where does that highway go?
And you may ask yourself
Am I right? ...am I wrong?
And you may tell yourself
My god!...what have I done?
Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/in the silent water
Under the rocks and stones/there is water underground.
Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/after the moneys gone
Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground.
Same as it ever was...same as it ever was...same as it ever was...
Same as it ever was...same as it ever was...same as it ever was...
Same as it ever was...same as it ever was...
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