Chicago

Soo this is late but 2 weeks ago maybe 3 now, i went to chicago. what a truly fabulous town. True story! It was like New York (well what i imagine of new york since i have yet to go) and San Francisco combined!! No mean people, no hills, no chinese. god it was so awesome. I stayed with Orges who fed me and gave me drink and rubbed my feet when they cramped up due to my leg edema...I had not 1 but 2 breakdowns during shopping because it was just too much. eeemagine! shopping causing mental and physical overload! eeeeemagine!!

My first stop was the flagship macy's. there are only 3 in the fucking world so when you have an opportunity to see one you go. Now i consider myself a seasoned shopper and very little impresses me but this...this was just...ok so here was one side of the macy's

here was another. it was so grand that i started to have heart palpitations. I tried to find teh bathin suit section and then i tried to look at jeans and then finally i hit the shoe section and i wa slike..."I can't do this!!!" and i walked out. too much. Oh wiat i just remembered i actually bought a bikini. So typical of me in the midst of my panic to still be able to try on clothing and make purchases. it's super cute and i look pretty good in it to, if i don't say so myself. Although apparently my boobs have shrunk which is a sad sad thing.
thank god Orges came and picked me up with a welcoming "hey baby!"
then we made our way to the modern art museum because we are like, cultured and shit. Before making it there we stopped at the American Girl Place!! ahhhh josefina here i come!!! The san Francisco show room is waaaaay better. here I am, an american girl!
the sears tower. shit really is tall here.

So orges and I went to the Modern Art Museum and saw this exhibit by this guy, i can't remember his name, but it was really good. He did stuff like have a carpet on a wall that you could touch and mold to show the fragility of art. But then he also had one room that was just carpet on the floor to show that art is very contextual and if you do the same thing in a different context it's no longer considered art and why is that? i mean it wasn't that deep but we made it that deep. I swear our convo would have been a scene from a movie about the best first date ever. they guy also had this exhibit which was the whole entrance of the museum covered in foam covered in foil And then you as the visiter/viewer/artist could participate and write, carve, whatever you want on the wall to show how art is constantly changing!! i know!! So anyways we didn't write anything because we preferred to be just viewers .

see this is orges...viewingpeople wrote very emo things like this. "i wish i was as invisible as you make me feel." Deep, not!
to things like this. "i'm too short to write something up there" to whcih someone responded "i feel your pain." I felt it too.
and then there was apparently a big hilary duff fan cuz these pink papers were everywhere. ironic much! And yet trying a little too hard to be ironic thus losing it's irony thus becoming ultimately IRONIC!!
Then we went to the top of the hancock tower for martinis and deep convo about nothing and everything. Then i was drunk and wanted to take a picture in front of a bar outside of orges's house called teh "tin lizzy." get it, get it!! the Tin Lizzy!! Too bad it was too dark to actually see the sign. look real close
So there was a jewler right next to the tin lizzy and in the darkness i thought i saw "stevie nicks jewlers." This seemed plausible and quite probably that you'd have teh stevie nicks jewler right next to the tin lizzy bar. So i got very excited. Again look really hard you can see me swinging drunkenly in front of stevie nicks jewler!!
in the daylight i realized it was in fact Steve Quick jewler. soooo not as cool.
so then i did some more shopping on Michigan ave, note the fog covering the top of what must be a giant building
the weather was totally cray cray. i'm talking like 40 mile an hour winds with rain AND ice. it was all coming at you horizontally instead of falling vertically and it hurts. my face had red spots after. I hit up the nordstrom and the bloomies and many other stores but then my legs gave out and orges had to rub my cramped up feet. I think that wearing heels is fucking up my feet which makes me kidn of sad. Liek what if i have to start wearing orthopedic shoes because my feet are all cramped?????

Orges playing guitar hero at best buy
me and teh city scape...and the world's biggest faching. vagina power!! Also known as teh building the little girl climbs down in "adventures in babysitting."
the married with children fountain! only turned off because otherwise the water would freeze
me and teh world's most giant faching. I am acting out being teh pilot of my own pussy. Ivan, Cathy, you know the motion i'm making. This takes the term "gaping" to a whole knew level.
orges doing very dirty things with the world's most giant faching
somethign called "the bean." it's a big silver ball and when you look at it you can see the whole city scape from it, or something. basically it looked like the flight of the navigator space ship in the middle of a chicago park. I wondered if this was where Elsa Peretti got her inspiration for the Tiffany Bean of if the bean got it's inspiration from Tiffany's. I shall wiki...apparenlty it has nothing to do with tiffany's or elsa peretti
our reflection from "the bean"
my minds eye, also known as my inner faching
so all in all chicago was very good times. Good people, good food, good city. i love it and cant' wait to go back. and i leave you with this. A lesser known fact about chicago, they love puns.

the weiners circle, a hot dog/ burger stand. get it!! get it!! it's like a PUN!!
my favorite pun of all though, tie me up noodles. Apparenlty they made a mistake and meant to call it "thai me up noodles" which would have been much more punny. Plus the menu on the inside said "thai me up" so clearly they were having identity issues.