"i'll be tasty tasty!"

wow the other night was HELLA good times, proving once again that if you put me, ivan, and cathy (and obvi bobby, but he was not present) in the middle of nowhere we will have good times. A while back we were trying to think of places to go and cathy and i thought it would be funny if we went to the south like to colonial williamsburg or something just to prove that we can in fact have a good time. The reason i mentioned colonial williamsburg was that in that movie "shag" the girls don't want ot go there, they want to go to the beach to meet boys and dance the shag. this leads me to believe that it must be a pretty dullsville location

aaaaaanyways point being, we had fun. we went to dave and busters. for those not in the know this is grown up chucky cheese with a bar. I personaly don't care that much for video games because i'm not good at them and stuff, but when i heard half off all drinks after 10 i was like...yes, i will drink with you. so i will list off to you in bullet points highlights of the night.

- driving to The Block in cathy's kia sssssssspectra drunk and belig (not cathy, but the rest of us) singing fergalicioussssss. Ivan kept singing in falsetto "i'll be tassssty tasssssty" on repeat

- cathy continually telling us all night "this is my life! suburban LA! this is my life"

- realizing that while teh block used to be kind of cool it's now super ghetto.

- everyone talking with lisssssps all night long until finally i was liek "do you guys know that when you elongate your ssssss's you are mocking me." some people didn't know. It was like the etimology of the lisssssssssp. then cathy alluded to the story of when i first found out that i had a lisp. senior year, knott's scary farm. I girl i didn't really know from my clas said "you know, you have a really cute lisp." she may or may not have been a lessssbian hitting on me. Well i was like "i don't have a lisp??? ryan do i have a lisp? margaret do i have a lisp?" everyone was liek "yeah we thought you knew." People i had known like all my life! and then i asked my mom and she said she was going to send me to speech therapy but the doctor said it wasn't that bad. eeemagine!! learning all of this at the age of 18!! needless to say i have never quite recovered.

- yelling beligerantly at our waitor gustavo. "where the HELL is guuuustavo!! i need my gimlet! gustavo!" gustavo was actually right behind me and i felt really bad so i left hiim an extra dollar.

- attempting to take pictures of ivan only to prove the point once again that ivan is the most unphotogenic person ever. i tried different angles but alas. he kept yelling "you knwo i hate my profile!!!"
GAY!!!

- paloma continuing to my chagrin to use that damn aZian peace sign. Paloma! you are not in china right now! you are mexican! please stop!
i proceeded to tell paloma the story of how the azian peace sign came to be. I cant' remember who told me this but it was a realiable source, and i may have written about this before so just bare with me. so back in the late 80's early 90's all of hhhhhapan and asian was obsessed wit hello kitty. And so girls would do the 2 fingers on both cheeks to represent kitty whiskers. Well this got shorted to one hang holding up 2 fingers to represent whiskers. now everyone thinks it's a peace sign or "v for victory" when in fact it might all just be about the love of hello kitty.
herrro kitty!!


- heckling a group of white kids at the trivia game and then kicking their asses and forcing them to leave. this game was awesome! it had a big trivia board and a wheel o topics, all automated. And had like 6 seats whch 3 buttons on them (a,b,c) and when the question was asked whoever hit the right answer first got points. so you got points for correct answers but also for speed. the top winner got up to 190 tickets, while 2nd and 3rd place got like 60 tickets. this was a really good game for winning tickets. Anyways we heckled these people, made them lose, took all the tickets, and they walked away. team mejjjico and indochin lives long!

- noticing a girl walking around with a hello kitty backpack and thinking..."um really a hello kitty backpack?"

- realizing she had won the backpack and dave and busters and at that moment deciding that i had to win that backpack so that next year my halloween costume can be a harajuku love child. eeemagine!

- returning to the trivia game to find it full of asians and one black couple. it was at that moment that cathy and i realized....this was racial survivor. the light skinnded asians vs. the messicans and dark skinned asians. it was ON!!!
right next to us was Hai, some kid that paloma knew from u penn. He too was vietnamese. we had an alliance with him. brown power!! I believe the question we are trying ot answer was a sports question. the sports ones were our waterloo, and those damn white asians were sooo good at them!! i feel bad cuz the black team didn't win at all. the only answer they got was one about outkast. v. sad. at one point i was liek "cathy they are from uc irvine!! come on cathy! we went to private school!" so since hai had also gone to private school we were fighting for all of our kind. turned out they went to ucla...not so big difference. anyways we fought like warriors but in the end we really only made it up to like 2nd place and they kept mocking us. I had to plea to them "guys! can you just let us win! All we want is to get enough tickets to buy a hello kitty backpack!" then they were like "where did you guys go" and i yelled "stanford bitch!!" and he was liek "we kicked your asses at football. to which cathy responded. "football! football! who gives a shit about football! we win in the game of LIFE!!" oh snap!! Finally in my moment of true glory the subject was tv and films, the question was "who plays peyton on the show 'one tree hill.'" I COULD DO THIS!!! i totally knew the answer because, yes, i watch one tree hill!! finally my love of bad tv was paying off!! i was the only person to get that answer and in the end it won us the game. Racial survivor!!! Mexicans/vietnamese reign supreme (for one round at least)!

- we combined our tickets and realized that we had 5000 tickets. eeemagine!! it was at that moment in the gift shop where it hit us. We coudl buy not one, but TWO hello kitty backpacks! in the end amanda wanted some lame speakers for her birthday but i did get a hello kitty backpakc in the ultimate moment or irony.

ivan and i posing with our hello kitty backpackssssss. i know you're jealoussss
"why hello babar!" "why hello zebra!" ivan ended up getting the stupid babar elephant. "why helooooooooo!!"
ivan amongst the stuffed amminals
"dah!"
heeeeeey! we also got a gay care bare! yay rainbow homo bear stare!!! as we walked by the asian guys who had kicked our asses cathy started yelling "i know you're jealousssss of my hello kitty backpack!!!" I love vince's face in this picture. He truly looks like a harajuku.

then we drove to cathy's friend, amanda's house and on the way there we had this awesome convo that went like this
vince: "i have to pee!!!"
cathy: "just go!"
me: "vince just go!
cathy: "just go"
me: "fergie did it! it's ok"
ivan: "i'll be tasty taaaassssty!!"
all of us "haha you are stupid!! haha!"

then at amanda's house she wooed us with her lessssssbian vagina whaling strummy la la music.
paloma sang us "wiiiilld horsssses, couldn't drag me away" and we had a lesssbian orgie. juuuuust kidding! no but it was all hot. especially as that mexi melt was coming back up in the form of heartburn. overall a great night. truly good times to be remembered.

in other news david called me a few days ago with his usual greeting
"i have good news and badnews"
my response is always "bad news first"
the bad news was, that he had gone to the scottsdale mall to check out all the stores that i frequent and he concluded "you have REALLY expensive taste!" He went into burberry and thought he'd get me a scarf only to realize how much they cost. Then he said he went into louis vuitton which he thought would be cheaper. nope in fact it was more expensive. In the end who knows what he got me, but after discussing it with grace we realized that we are not very good at manipulatin gour men to get us things that we want. i do'nt do the whole "let's go shopping os i can show you things that i like and hint to you htat i want them so that you can buy them for me later and then manipulate you and then you can 'surprise' me with something i told you i wanted." fuck that! i usually see what i like...weigh the cost and in the end say i'll just buy it for myself. this is also why i don't really like shopping wiht peope. i don't like them ot see how much money i spend on my thingsssss. perhap sthis is why men have never given me good gifts. to me a good gift is something that someone never knew they wanted or needed but once they get it, they are ever grateful. best gift ever, when jorge gave me a tivo. hands down! hands down!!

so on that note i got david what i think are awesome gifts. A 6 month subscription to the economist because everytime we go to a bookstore he likes ot read it but says it's too expensive for him ot purchase himself. I also got him the equivalent of "now that's music" in spanish because he's always asking me about spanish songs he hears on the radio and i do'nt have spanish radio so i don't know and his spanish is realy bad so i can't understand him. so hopefully this CD has all the songs he likes. and then i'm thinking i might get him a little something else, not sure what. In the end i'm pretty sure my gift will be better than his to me, but i admit, i'm really hard to shop for so it's not for a lack of his trying. and he does nice things for me all the time liek taking me out to nice restaurants and listening ot me when i'm upset and stressed (sometimes) and so in the end some stupid gift one day a year does not equate to all the nice stuff he does for me throughout the year.

where am i? what is this?

it's christmas..well 10 minutes left of it at least. we always spend christmas day with my dad's family who i am slightly (this is an understatement) disconnected with for various reasons which include generally that we are just not on the same wavelength. I have lots of cousins my age but most of them are having babies or getting married or dropping out of jc colleges and stuff and here i am thinking...how irresponsible but then i think...well technically they have way more real world responsibilities so who is really the irresponsible one? and then i think, how can these young people be getting married! i can barely take care of a plant. but again, who is the irresponsible one?

i was talking to their kids who are like 2 and 3 and they are such smart kids. These are the kids i'm trying to help in my research and then i talk to their parents and it's like...the parents love their kids so much they just do'nt have teh tools to know what it is they are supposed to do to help their kids succeed in life. And it's just so heart breaking. and then some of them can't believe i went to stanford mainly because they really can't fathom what stnaford is. So they say things like "wow isn't that like a really good school? you must have had like a 4.0. did you have a 4.0 all 4 years of high school?" They still even after graduating ask me how life was in boston. And i hvae to respond that in fact stanford is in california. imagine, in their own state. and then everyone thinks that i'm gonna be a therapist and i'm like, no i do educational psychology and htey say "oh so are you going to be a high school counselor" and i'm like...ugh no i do research so i can fix the problems in the education system. And then i get blank stares. Finally my cousin's wife was liek "wait so when i read that stuff about like 'statistics say' are you the one who comes up with those statistics?" and i was liek YES!! THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I DO! but really how do you explain to peopel with barely a high school education what exactly a phd is. liek they really don't know what it entails or what it means or anything. and they ask why i'm in michigan and why i didn't just go to cal state LA for grad school since it's close. And i can't be like "well cuz it's the 3rd best ed psych program in the country" because i just can't say that. And i just always feel so....out of sorts around them. LIke i've literally lost the plot. like we are reading completely different books. And i want so much to give these kids the tools and to help their parents on a daily basis but it's so hard and it makes me feel kind of hopeless. Like, how did i end up here.

and then there is the whole gift giving thing. technically i am an adult, but in my family you rae not an official adult until you get married (blahhhh) so some of my aunts and uncles still give me money as gifts and i feel like, ok i'm too old for you to be giving me money like i'm one of the younger kids. adults don't get gifts/money. but then on the other hand it's like, but i actually really do need the money so i end up taking it and it all feels mildly humiliating. I mean, will i still be taking money when i'm 28? probably.

how does a phd explain what they do!?? like seriously, how. med students can say theya re gonna become doctors and law students can say they are gonna become lawyers. i say i'm getting my phd and peopel are like..."oh so wait, you didn't graduate from stnaford? oh so you are getting your ba again?" and i'm like...um no it's like a whole different degree. ok i can't put this into words anymore

merry christmas and all that jazz

bebeeeeeesss

babies babies babies!! let me preface this with, i don't think i want any babies. they are so damn time consuming. like they suck away your life! that being said i like other people's kids for 10 minute periods at a time. oh and i also relaly like 3 and 4 year olds.

ALESSANDRO! Ok this baby has a certain charm to him. He's not traditional looking but something about his mini fro is just so cute
plus i particularly like his velour track suit. he looks like a little goodfella.



now for ben who made tamales with us last night
i really have to tell you, that you have to see him in person cuz these pictures do not do him justice. he is soooo cute. but whenever the flash flashed him his face went wierd.

the most wonderful time OF THE YEAR!!

Christmas time is here....la la la la.

yes my friends, it is that glorious time of year when poor only children whose stipends have run out come home and are showered with gifts from their parents. It's christmas time!! ok not showerd but i usually get one really good thing. Most families do the whole christmas morning wrapped presents tradition. My mom at some point in her attempt to "simplify" her life decided she wasn't going to wrap presents or ask for any gifts. But she still wnated to buy other people stuff so she decided that instead of buying them things they might not like she'd set aside time ot take people she cared, namely my father, me and my cousin jenny, to the mall. Shopping at the mall with my mom is always a good time. Our christmas tradition as of a few years back consists of us driving out to the south coast plaza, walking around to all the different stores, picking things that we like and then waiting for my mom to say "i will sponsor (fill in a certain percentage) of that (fill in bag, shoe, jeans, whatever)." This year was no exception as i finally got what i have been covetting since my time abroad in italy. yes, my friends, I HAVE FINALLY MADE IT!! I am the proud owner of a gucci purse! gahhhhh i love it! it's so pretty! guys guys, you can take the girl out of the materialistic enviornment and stick her in the midwest, but you can't take the materialism out of the girl....or something. Basically, what i'm saying is, i'm a materialistic whore. judge me!

so i know it's not christmas yet but here are my gifts.

gift 1: from my papi
my dad got my grandma's ruby ring reset. It had fallen out of it's setting a few years ago and we just never got around to doing it. It's the only real thing of value that my grandma had so i actually really love it for sentimental reasons even though it's kind of big and borders a bit on gaudy.

gift 2: from myself and my mom
a jade necklace that was 65% off at macy's. 65%!!! It's a square and has some kind of stone in the center and i think it's cool

gift 3: to myself
Headbands...i've decided i'm getting back into them. i used to wear headbands all the time when i was younger but i think i associate them with catholic school uniforms so i never wear them anymore. well i'm bringing back the headband to my life! HEADBANDS!
PS also on sale at jcrew
gift 4: to myself
a burberry scarf to replace the one i lost. uughh i still can't believe that scarf got lost somewhere in my move. Anyways i got the original print only a little modernized. I had to get it because my dad gave me the old one and he doesn't know that i lost it so my mom and i thought we should make a quick switcheroo

gift 5: from mom
and now for the big guns, the big gift of the year. Last year it was a watch (much appreciated). this year it's "the bag. " in honor of the biggness of "the bag" and the fact that i never get to open up gifts i decided to have the ladies at gucci wrap "the bag" up and i'd document opening it up for you all.
the bag. gucci wraps this shit up so nice!!

the box
in the bag
the tissue paper
in the box
in the bag

ISN'T THIS FUN!!!!!! I'M HAVING SO MUCH FUN!!!

the protective bag
in the tissue paper
in the box
in the bag

and finally without further ado

THE BAG!!!
CLOSE UP!!
Ivan, did you just die? Cathy, are you judging me? Bobby, are you clapping and yelling "gay!!!" Orges, are you thrwoing things and screaming at the disgustingness of capitolism???

My dad was liek "what are you doing??" and i was like...taking pictures of my excess. he took the camera and started taking of action shots.

EXCESS in motion
SEXY EXCESS

and now, at the behest of my papi I include his own personal christmas miracle. My father came to this country 38 years ago with nothing but a pair of corduroy, a white hanes t shirt, and converse all stars. He has made a name for himself in rough world of roach coaches, he has travelled the world, but all he has ever wanted is to buy a rolex. When we got DSL 2 years ago he would come home everyday, go on ebay or wahtever and look at rolexes to pick out the exact one he wanted. But there was always an excuse. "oh it's too gold." "oh it's too sporty." "what would i do with a rolex?" etc. Finally about a year ago he went into a jewler ready to buy it, tried the one he wanted on, took out his hard earned money, and as he was about to pay he realized it was not the watch he wanted but the idea of the watch. The idea of that watch had motivated him all these years and he realized he didn't really want the watch. The watch was just an excuse, something to remind him what he was working for. In the end he opted against purchasing it. Ever since then my mom and i have had to suffer through his pros and con lists for why he should or shouldn't buy the watch. Everytime we'd go into a mall we'd have to go to every watch store, watch him try it on, and then say "no no nevermind. i don't want it." Finally a month ago we both told him, that we would not go into any more jewlery stores wtih him unless he was going to buy the damn thing.

Well recently my dad sold his old lunch truck. Something about that sale made him feel nostalgic. His old truck had been with him for 36 years. It had put me through college, paid for all of our good times. he wanted to commemorate that truck wiht something tangible. he wanted something that everytime he looked at it he would remember all the hard work he had done. my mom and i were liek "rolex!! rolex!! rolex!!" So last saturday my father became the proud owner of a rolex. not too sporty, not too fancy. Like goldylocks, it was juuuuust right. And so i present to you our family of swiss watches. my papi's rolex, my mom's omega, and my movado. Before you go and judge, just remember that each watch represents something for my dad. A goal achieved, 70 hour work weeks, etc etc. They were given with love and we know it and appreciate it, and never let him forget how much we appreciate him and all that he does for us. Cheers to my family and to my dad! May all of your famlies be blessed in ways that go beyond just the material...but the material is always nice. And as a wisewoman once said "we are living in a material world, and i am a material girl."

What do you do all day?...

the other day cathy and i were having one of our 4 hour gchat conversations from Sweetwaters when she said "i want to see this sweetwaters. what do you do all day? you should do a 'day in the life' feature' where you take pictures of various aspects of your day. So in honor of Cathy, a lowly city worker, who longs for travel, i give you this

A day in the life of a grad student...
We begin with a Thursday night, which is really when my week begins as it is when i can officially start the excess.

At Ozan's house me, him, kevin, and o's girlfriend smoked hooka and had a really intense conversation about the problem with minorities in america. I mean it was DEEP! a higher ed phd, a history phd, a african studies phd, and a psych phd discussing race in america. I know, you are jealous.
ozan and his awesomely bejewelled hookah. I remember asking him if he had bought it in turkey since he is turkish. he was like "no i bought it in dearborn." So not the same thing!

Kevin is really into talking about this rhapsody music program that he pays for monthly which we all think is dumb. Anyways he opened up rhapsody and we started listening to some lionel ritchie, "all night long" which is a REALLY good song.
kebbbbbyyyyyne sings da lie-ooooo-nelll
the rest of the night is lost, as far as pictures go mainly because when i'm drunk i forget to take pictures and also because the "underground lounge" that we drink at is too dark and smokey to get any good shots. So let's flashforward 3 hours later. Things that occurred that night was that Wendy told Hugo she loved him so he started buying rounds. I am always up for free drinks so proceeded to drink to the point of excess (i'd say about 8 really strong gimlets) and then nishi's professor kind of invited himself along to the bar and somehow i ended up chatting it up with him. I really should have stopped talking since i was really really drink but apparently he's a big wig and claims that he is going ot get fernando and me prime offices in the psych dept. that is yet to be determined.

so mainy drinks later we ended up and nishi's with this

goddamn the power of the taco bell mexi melt!!
Why is it that when you ask for hot sauce at taco bell THIS always happens
like really, HOW MUCH FIRE SAUCE DO I NEED!!

Everything got hazy there but there was some drunken texting, calling, and iming which is never a good thing. friends don't let friends im while drunk, but alas, i was alone that night so noone was there to stop me

the next morning i woke up hung over as all fuck. this was bad. this may have been the first hangover since new years 2006. I lay in bed for a few hours with the taste of stale liquor on my tongue, at about 11:45 i started wailing "WHY!!! WRETCHED!" but then i realized that there was free food being offered at the psych dept holiday party and a grad student can never not attend an event with free food. So i rolled out of bed to this mess...
ugh my room after a night of drinking, utter disaray. Papers and bills strewn about, my bathroom with various makeupd and hair products, boots that were flung off in despair, and my fanny pack from the pinata costume. blah, just blah.

I mustered up the energy to dress myself in a mildly festive outfit (does neon green count?) and then headed to the psych dept.

my walk is made up of this
lots of dead trees. exciting, i know.

I live in this small area called kerrytown which is just a bunch of old houses, a jewish deli, and a farmers market, but ti's close to downtown so it's good for stumbling home drunk
kerrytown!!

15 minutes later, i thought i was going to passout at least 5 times but i finally made it to the psych dept
at what a glorious dept it is! the glorious east hall! free food awaits!

I met up with Nishi, and we both gave a mutual moan of wretchedness as we lamented "why did we drink so much last night!" this hungover led to lots of indecisiveness as far as what beverages we thought would not makes us vomit. Egg nog? holiday punch? sprite? coffee? tea?
Nishi opted for a bit of double fisting action as we waited in line for the free food which ended up being deep fried smorgesborg of crap cakes, veggies sticks, and other midwestern delicacies.

as i said before our indecisiveness and general blahness led to us sampling every drink there was to offer
note a half eaten egg roll and crab cake. about an hour later i would majorly regret this meal.

Hey look! it's some old guy who i'm sure is a world famous psychologist!!
our failed attempts at being social turned into us just staring blankly as nishi is doing in teh above shot so we decided to call it a day and head to our relative homes for naps.

my walk home usually takes place down state street which looks like this
it reminds me of what capeside in dawson's creek must have been like.

Hey look!! There's dawson and Joey waiitng in line at the Rialto to see some old movie!! awesome!

the walk continues and then i end up on main street which is a little more lively adn a lot less full of ugg wearing undergrads
downtown ann arbor...A mixture of palo alto with a little bit more originality and berkeley with a little less pot and homelessness. Yes, this is my local stomping ground.

around the corner from my house is the equivalent of the castro in ann arbor (probably in all of michigan). The local gay street. it's relaly more of a corner.
this gay "haven," known as braun court consists of a gay bar, a gay bookshop, a gay thai restaurant, and 2 gay abandoned buildings. watch out badlands and the cafe!

I got home, got in bed and woke up 5 hours later with a strong desire for food. i ate, packed and went back to bed, hangover from hell.

and thus ended a day and a half in my life. exciting, right? next feature we'll have cathy showing us what a day in the life of a city employee is like. i can't wait! If any of you would like me to publish a day in your life just let me know.

babies!

My nephews!!! Benny and Alessandro. aren't they cute??!! OH man i can't wait to see them at christmas

dddddddddddddddddd runk

oh my god i am so drunk i could barely type in my password to log into blogger. i FEEL LIke i am at a point where i need to be a guest blogger to MYSELF!!!!!!!!

GRAD SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOO!!!!!!!

WE SHOULD MAKE T SHIRTS (that say GRAD SCHOOL....WOOOO).

ok end caps lock. my point being, i am hella drunk and had good times. tonight i drank with friedsn adn this random prof named chris peterson who i will eventually look up since he's like kind of a big deal. anyways he thought i was cool, and he was pretty cool too so i take that as validation that i'm like, a good person, that someone who is relatively awesome in his field thinks that i am awesome. did that sentence even make sense!??E#>#RJAKRKJJIE

ok but for reals....i had many things to say. i tried to photo document tonight but a little something known as "the tequila gimlett" got in the way as that quest was very quickly hindered by .....alcohol. that sentence was extremely redundant and yet.....

Ozan has video of me singing "careless whisper" ON KEY!!! I want to put it on You Tube but cathy has suggested otherwise. we'll see how i feel about this in sobriety. hugo drove me home and he randomly had Shai "if i ever fall in love" and we did what i consider in my humble opinion to be one of the best accapella renditions of "if i ever fall in love again" by Shai. LIke seriously i knew the harmonies LIKE WHAT!! and what was most amazing was that i hadn't heard this song in like 10 years and yet it was so fresh in my mind. i am a late 80's early 90's GODDDDDD!!!!!!!!! i AM SOOOO GOOD!!! I challenge YOU to challenge ME


2 more days and i'll be in SF with dr. love. i cant' wait. i might die....like in the ivan way.

ugh, procrastination you slay me

as you may notice when finals week comes i tend to post alot because i take lots of "study breaks."

Ok so I am a bit peeved. In my attempts to find a new place to finish my paper (which I am clearly hard at work on) I decided to pop into the local starbucks. I have not been to a starbucks since being back in LA. Wow, starbucks sucks…A LOT!

a regular coffee costs $1.54. Up until now I have paid no more than 1.35 every other place I have been. I am by no means a coffee afficianado but seriously this is the worst coffee I have ever tasted. Like it’s really gross.

1. Starbucks, even the ones in small towns, don’t give you free wifi. So my cueessssssstion to you all is, if there is free wifi next door why is everyone here
2. The only people in undergrad campuses who hang out at starbucks are

a) stupid undergrads who don’t know any better.

b) Pretentious grad students taking undergrads on dates. A quote I am hearing from a man wearing a yellow and brown (yes you heard me) pin striped velvet jacket (read: tool) talking to a girl in pig tails saying various thing which include “well my brother and I grew up on a farm…our cholesterol was prodigious from various dairy and meat products….the whole sense of the beauty of androgeny and the higher kingdom, or, whatever.” The plot thickens as I realize that this guy also has a wedding ring.

Oh my god I might die if this douche back doesn’t shut the fuck up. He’s talking about Thomas Beckett. SHUT UP SHUT UP!!

Josh Ritter “Kathleen” just came on my ipod. This song is so good.

“All the other girls here are stars, you are the northern lights.”

Seriously!! Such a good line!!!

“They try and they try but everything that they do is the ghost of a trace of a pail imitation of you”

4:50

People don’t talk like this in real life, and the ones who do are poets and as we all know from my own personal experience, POETS ARE LIARS! My main impotace for saying this is that I dated this guy who played the guitar and sang me elliot smith songs and in the end he spoke more than he felt. Thus the saying, poets are liars. They say what they think, not what they feel because they are all about the drama and the pretty words. Point being, as a teenager I always wanted a poet who would sing me songs and tell me that all the other girls in the room were stars and I was the northern lights, and then I had that and you know what, it was full of shit. So now I’m just happy when david says “you’re so hot when you talk about critical race theory.” It’s not as beautiful as being called the northern lights but I feel it’s much more genuine.

5:21

I seriously love people watching. I think you can read so much about people just from watching them. More than you get from talking to them. Look at their body language, where they have their hands, the clothes they choose to wear. You can tell the image they want to give off and sometimes that image is different from the person they really are. And you can tell when a guy likes a girl and she doesn’t know it. Or when a gay kid and his best hag are sitting together and he loves her even though she’s kind of chubby and looks like shit because she’s the only person who treats him like a human being. And you can see the girl sitting alone with red hair who looks oddly uncomfortable and she puts on her headphones even though she’s listening to the conversations of people around her. Or the two bitches who are having the most mundane conversation EVER and acting like their shit don’t stink when you know they actually hate their lives. Whenever people ask what I’d want if I could have any super power I always say flying, but honestly I think I’d want to be invisible so I could just watch people. Oh gay boy, put down that pastry!

time wasters!!!

to copy emily. i always think these things are kind of lame but it brought back so many memories and made me get excited for christmas so i thought i'd share

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? neither, I prefer diet coke or vodka during the holidays. But when i was a kid i guess it was just Coke.

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? the old fashioned, big bulbed, what is now considered "retro", colored lights. I remember sometime around like 1999ish all the color left christmas and all we were left with was fake icicles and white trims and it's like..hello, we live in LA! let's stop pretending it's a winter wonderland and just fucking be gaudy and colorful! I won't let my parents buy white lights

4. Do you hang mistletoe? no, i tried too one year after learning about it on some tv show (which was basically where i got all of my references to normal American teen life) but then no one actually used it and i succumbed to the reality that my family is a little FOBy sometimes.

5. When do you put your decorations up? well before my mom got old and decided christmas was too stressful we used to do it the week after thanksgiving

6. What is your favorite holiday dish? Tamales! and anything my mom cooks since this is the one time of year she will still cook for me. so in that respect this is not a holiday meal but it's pork in green or red salsa sauce. Ooh and posole!

7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child? the year I got to stay home alone, opened up all of my present very carefully, saw how awesome my gifts were, resealed and repackaged everything precisely and then pretended to be excited again on christmas eve. I felt so bad that i told my mom right after that i was lying and had already opened everything. She said my guilt and the fact that i spoiled my own christmas was punishment enough. never again! 2nd to that though was when i got a barbie pool party set. it was so awesome!

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? Sheila Calvario from across the street told me. She was 2 years older than me. But what she actually told me was "do you still believe in santa? it's ok if you do, but when you find out the truth I recommend you keep believing and acting surprised cuz then you get MORE presents!" I realized this was kind of dumb and that i'd get presents anyway so i told my mom she didn't have to sign stuff from santa anymore, she could just sign it from herself.

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? midnight on christmas eve with the whole clan

10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree? Hmm, well i have no money for trees and decorations but when my mom and i used to do it we have a mixture of 80's ornaments, random santas and baby jesuses, things from my youth like "baby's first ornament," and my hand print on clay and lights, no garland or tinsel. that's tacky. Sometimes we'd go to macy's and get ideas and decide to add really nice ribbon.

11. Snow! Love it or Dread it? can say now with full validation LOVE IT! but never had it during christmas

12. Can you ice skate? yes, but it's an activity i enjoy more in theory than in reality

13. Do you remember your favorite gift? oh haha, i said it already, but the barbie pool party cabana! it was a porch and it had a gate and a pool and lounge chairs and a bar and barbie and her friends could play and drink pina coladas (you think i'm lying). I actually hated barbie cuz she was blonde and ugly but i used midge and mitch for the barbie pool party and barbie was always denied entrance

14. What’s the most important thing about the Holidays for you? Getting to see my family all pretty and dressed up. Since i moved away 6 years ago i only get to see them a few times of year and this is one of the times when everyone is happy and we sing karaoke and carols and go to church and give each other gifts.

15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? hmmm, we don't really eat desert. BUT my mom lets us splurge and around this time my dad and i get bolillo (mexican bread, crusty on outside soft on inside) and then we eat it with cajeta (mexican carmel but it's more milky, popped in the microwave for just a few seconds). holy fuck it's good!

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? We all used to stand in front of the camera and sing really loud "feliz navidad" and other christmas songs like "the 12 days of christmas" and everyone would get a day, but most of my family has moderate accents so this was a riot because people couldn't pronounce things. so things like "3 french hens" became "treee frinch heeeens" or "6 geeeeses are laaaaajjjing" or the best was when my grandpa wouldn't even try to say "12 drummers drumming" he would just do the motion on his beer can. This tradition then evolved into my cousins and I organizing a christmas talent show to be performed in front of everyone, with lead guitar by my uncle Lou, from the band CLAW!! This then became our annual christmas karaoke singing contest. Jenny and I are lead singing champions. There is a lot of time to fill when you start a party at 7 and have to wait until midnight to open gifts.

17. What tops your tree? This really ugly angel with a candle that rotates back and forth. Everyone in my family has one so i guess we can't really get rid of it.

18. Which do you prefer: giving or receiving? Oh giving is way more awesome when you can find that gift that makes the person go "THANK YOU, JERRY!!" Like when it's something they didn't even know they wanted or needed.

19. What is your favorite Christmas Song? So many. Well anything from the Carpenters "christmas portrait" tape, which is what my mom used to play exclusively around christmas. I love the when Karen sings "i'll be home for christmas" in her soft dulcet tones. she makes me weep and it kind of all has way more meaning now that i live far away. Also the Judy Garland version of "have yourself a merry little christmas" from meet me in st. louise ALWAYS makes me weep buckets. AND "simply having a wonderful christmas time" by paul mccartney. Oh wait but more importantly i'd have to put wham, "last christmas" on here because it screams 80's.

to quote cher

so i'm taking a break from studying about PVEST model of something or other. PVEST is awesome and i will discuss it at length another time and how i have made a renewed vow to be "an agent of change for society." It's deep but i have something even deeper to discuss now.

It's like almost 10pm and this old couple came into the cafe. they have their canvas bags from the public library and the old man is reading a book and dipping biscotti in a latte. his wife is alternating between knitting what looks like a sleeve or a small sock and doing the crossword puzzle. is it just me or is this REALLY CUTE!! Do you think they do this every night? wouldn't you want to be this kind of old couple. The woman is wearing turquoise jewlery and the old man is reading some book called "island of desperation." I bet they have travelled a lot and settled in ann arbor. Maybe he's an emeritus. as Cher in clueless once said "old people are sooo cute!"

coffee shop memoirs part II

I’m at my small asian coffee shop since I have decided to boycott sweetwaters during finals time because

a) they have like 3 outlets

b) it’s too much of a scene (go to be seen and heard. Look I’m studying! I’m at sweetwaters! I’m so hardcore!)

c) my asian coffee shop is cheaper

Anyways this place seems to be a little more family oriented as i always see parents bringing in thier kids. Like this woman i'm sitting across from. I'm guessing she's either a grad student or a professor and she's on her laptop doing work, drinkign coffee, and her son is about 10 and he's drinking hot chocolate from a coffee mug and doing some type of reading for fun. I imagine this is how academics spend quality time and bond with their kids. And i imagine it must be so cool for the kids because they get to pretend to be "doing work like my mom" and they drink "kids coffee." Like earlier this woman had her 2 really cute sons and she was like "ok after this we can either go home, take a walk around town, or take a ride on the bus." And her sons were like "THE BUS!! I WANT TO RIDE THE BUS!!" And i imagine this is pretty standard if you are a kid growing up in a college town, you go to coffee shops with your mom in the middle of the afternoon and get excited about riding the bus around town. I see stuff liek this alot and i wonder, if this what my kids lives are gonna be like? I think most academic parents spend all their time in their offices and not enough time with their kids. not that we have time to like play and run and skip and do all that crap. but just including your kids is really nice

I'm having flashbacks to when my dad would take me to work and we’d have bonding time together. My dad has been crazy busy my whole life, leaving the house at 5:30am and coming home at 9 every night. I mean I guess you have to work pretty damn hard to have people dedicate haiku’s to you . But despite all of that I think we still spent a lot of time together. He used to take me to work during the summer and on my vacation breaks from school and i would help him and we didn't really talk much but i felt liek he taught me lessons in life just by watching him. I really understood how hard he worked to get where he was and it made me appreciate him and i understood that when he was busy he really was busy, and he would tell me while we were working that he worked hard so that i wouldn't have to. And i used to say "but papi, am i going to get the lunch truck when you retire? who is going to take over? do you want me to take it over?" and he woudl say "Mija, you are better than that. I would be disappointed if after all of my hard work you ended up doing what i do." My dad wasn't a professor and he's never worn a suit to work but he understood that it's importnat to include your kids. And then on saturdays when my mom needed alone time we would get in my dad's fiat and drive down to the beach and eat clam chowder and my dad would read the newspaper and i'd read the comics and it was awesome.

so i guess what i'm saying is, i would like to be the kind of professor who takes their kids to coffee shops and spends quailty time with them.

George Michael: YOU MOVE ME!!!!!!!!!!

Down coats needed to fight the cold = 1
glasses (and by glasses i mean blue plastic cups) of 2buck chuck = 5
number of times Beyonce was played = 4
number of times i almost fell off of my bike on the way home = 4
number of times i have played Wham "last christmas" since i got home = 6
homosexxxxxxuals = oooh thousands!!

after months of trying to sell myself: "i swear i'm a hag!! my 2 best friends from pre-school are gay!" I have finally made contact with THE GAYS!!

what a night. It started out with me doing 6 hours of hardcore statification. We finished our problem set and i attemped to do some reading but it just wasn't happening because my mind was dead. I went to dinner with some peeps, worked on an outline at the infamous sweetwaters, and then i got a call from JP that he was having a party. Dubbs dubbs!! JP is this trinidadian gay man that i met last week at babs: underground lounge. I sold myself like a whore trying to get a gig with some frat boys. I was like. "i love perez hilton!!! i saw britney's vagina!! is that what a vagina looks like! It's so CAVERNOUSE!! I love cher and justin timberlake!!" things of that nature. I basiclaly was like "hag for sale, BUY ME!!" so by some magical power (and i mean facebook) i got a holler from JP saying he had a party going on tonight and he called me and personally inivited me and i went and it twas truly MAGICAL! intially it just looked like a black party with your occasional white homo thrown in there. Someone put on Mariah "All i want for christmas is you" and all these's gay's started singing along and harmonizing and i was like "wow this is the gayest party I have ever been to" because it really was. Then JP's roommate put on Whitney "i wanna dance with somebody" and the dancefloor cleared and I knew, like seeing the bat-sign "hags and fags to the dancefloor!" It was my call to arms. Like Delacroix's "liberty leading the people", my breast hung out (metaphorically of course) and I DANCED!!! We danced hardcore to some AhHa Take on me...which took me back to how i met my first boyfriend when i said:

"I love this song!!" and he said
"shut up!! this is my RING TONE!!" and i said
"You LIE!!!!!!!!!!!!"

At one point I kept ademately requested the JLo mega mix but THEY DON'T KNOW!! THEY DO'NT KNOW!! Mo's talked about going to Las Vegas and i told them about Olympic gardens and about the dick slap that was felt around the world and we CONNECTED on a gay-latina-straight-woman/gay man LEVEL!!

DUBBS have i told you all (other than cathy) HOW MUCH I LOVE GEORGE MICHAEL!!! seriously i LOVE HIM!!!!!!!!! Wham and post wham, so good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DUBSS DUBSSS I AM HELLLA DRUN KRIGHT KNOW. THIS IS LIKE A LIVE BLOG AND SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok but for reals, i discovered the gay community tonight and there are like 4 of value. I was yelling "play Wham 'LAST CHRISTMAS!!'" and this Mo came up to me and was like "my favorite Wham song is 'careless whisper'" and at that moment we bonded on a really deep level (cathy, are you feeling me? please comment!)!!!!. I confessed to him that I had received a score of 97 out of 100% on the Magic Mic for my rendition of careless whisper during my family's annual Christmas Eve karaoke competition (we are sooooo multicultural since my cousin married a fffffffffilipppppino!) and he was impressed dispite not knowing what a magic mic was. PEOPLE DON'T KNOW!!

anyways the point is i am HELLA DRUNK and i had good times with GAYS!!!

FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
....

I just called david and said "as NATASHA BEDINGFIELD ONCE SAID 'these words of mine.....i love you, i love you, i love you'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Why does music speak the words of my soul!???? why did i just quote natasha bedingfield?? why is that song so good!?? Why do i LOVE GEORGE MICHAEL!!!!!!????????


Tonight the music seems so LOUD

I wish that we could lose this CROWD

Maybe it's better this way

We'd hurt each other with the things we'd want to say


WE COULD HAVE BEEN SO GOOD TOGETHER

We could have lived this dance forever

but NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO'ONE'S GONNA DANCE WITH ME

Please stay



point being......................................................................

I'M DRUNK!

3 snaps in a Z formation

http://www.radaronline.com/radar-reviews/

scroll down to the 2nd one. I'VE BEEN PUBLISHED. Sweet! thanks Rach! Dubbs dubbs this is like a legit magazine so snaps to me. My friend is the editor of this section but NOT THE POINT. also snaps to ms. Wood who was also published if you scroll down further.

anyways i would also like to give a shout out to my boo, David who delivered his first baby last night. When i asked him what it was like he said "it was like catching a football...only it was coming out of a giant vagina!" ah the miracle of life. Anyways as bobby would say, 2 e props and 3 snaps for Dr. Love.

and guys, please please please start commenting. Whether I knwo you or not. I feel so lonely in this blogosphere thing we call the internet. send me love and eprops.


edit HERE is the link

coffee shop memoirs

6:30
So i'm at this coffee shop called Sweetwaters (I know. It screams "see, see! we are unique! we are not starbucks! but basically they are starbucks. Anyways) and there is this really loud group of ladies having a knitting circle in the corner, but i like them. I prefer to come to the coffee shops early cuz when you come later it's the stressed study crowd and there are lots of people and they are all undergrads and instead of studying they talk and it's like...COME ON PEOPLE SHUT THE FUCK UP AND STOP TALKING ABOUT DOING WORK AND DO IT ALREADY! But the 5 to 8ish crowd are the hardcore studiers who want to be in bed by 10. The point of all this though was to say that this place, Sweetwaters, has a fireplace with a tv showing "log burning fire" inside of it and this really FOBy asian girl with like colored hair and everything (very harajuku baby love) walks up to this fireplace and crawls up on the ledge and starts like trying to figure out how it works. and me and this asian girl next to me are like, hello silly harajuku, it's a tv! so sad.

Ok wait. I'm an ass. I just tried looking close up at the fireplace and it's NOT a tv. And the other asian girl next to me is also kind of staring at it. Now feel kind of bad for mocking that FOB girl. I love FOBs. Wow this fireplace is rather intricate. It has real wood in it but then it has like a projector somewhere projecting the scene of a fire on the brick. Me and the Asian girl keep staring at it but we are too embarrassed to go up and be like the FOB and crawl onto the ledge to figure out how it works cuz if we were judging her than others will judge us. We are having a moment. I feel you, young asian girl. And we both have IBM computers! what if she is like my asian soul sister, my kindred spirit, the diana berry to my anne shirley!

7:35
on hour later, what have i done. let's see, i had a really deep discussion with orges and emily about Heroes and the butterfly effect and the Ray Bradbury story "A sound of thunder" (if you watch heroes wiki this shit!). i'm not feeling my reading right now. this couple across from me is practicising what appears to be that clicking african language. what's it called???? !click! is that what it's called? anyways what's funny is that they are the whitest peole i have ever seen and here they are having a !click! convo.

i'm reading this article that is basically debunking all kinds of feminist dominance theory stuff and saying that women's voices are suppressed in adolescence but so are mens. this is one of my favorite lines of any psych paper ever i think

reviving ophelia is certainly a worthy goal. however, Hamlet also displaysed serious problems of indecision and lack of voice.

9:40.
it's startig to snow again. I kind of love snow. It's so....magical. that just made me think of gilmore girls and lorelie and how she loves snow. but seriously it's so pretty! it's like everything i've ever eeeeeemagined and nothing i've ever eeeemagined. It's the bomb. I kind of hope it's cold enough to stay on the ground cuz i really want to wear my new snow boots tomorrow. I think if i lived in a city where it snowed and i had to look cute and wear heals ahd drive places i'd hate it. but i live in a small town and i can walk everywhere in my really ugly utilitarian clothing from REI. quote me later during a blizzard, but i kind of love winter in small town america!

it reminds me of when i was younger and my mom had this collection of mini christmas towns.
It's really wierd to describe to people who have never seen it but there are different villages like an alpine village, the north pole stuff like that. My mom collected the "christmas in the city" collection which was basically new york in winter (not that my mom and i had ever seen new york or winter for that matter) and the "snow village" collection which was essentially a small white surburb and "dicken's village" which took place in the village where "a christmas carol" took place. I used to be obsessed with the dickens story I think mainly because of these damn villages and because my mom raised me watching that old version of "a christmas carol" with albert finny. Seriously my mom is the reason why i am a gay man trapped in the body of a straight woman. eeemagine being raised on musicals and making fake christmas villages! that kid from Ugly Betty would have died in my house. Sadly my mom has stopped celebrating christmas cuz she says it's not fun anymore but man we used to go all out! My mom's changed alot. But anyways in addition to having these humongous village sets all over the house we also had a giant nativity set. Flashbacks, we even used to make my dad cut out giant peices of wood so we could have a "stage" to set the village on and we'd use bricks cuz my mom said it "created depth to have houses on different levels" and we would start going to the christmas collectors store months before hand to get ideas and we'd meticulously plan our villages. god my mom was so crazy and yet i see so much of myself in her. this all kind of explains a lot....sorry i'm having a moment. I shoudl unearth the collection. I bet it's worth a lot since most of the peices have been discontinued or retired.

aaaanyways every christmas until puberty we would put up our villages and we would buy fake dead trees and fake snow and sprinkle it on top of fake rocks and make a fake river out of celaphane (spelling?) paper for the fake porcelain kids to skate on and it was like the highlight of my year making these stupid villages. Winter here feels like a mixture of "christmas in the city" and "snow village." because when the snow falls on the rocks it really does look like it did when i dropped the fake snow on rocks in "snow village" and the streets really are kind of made of brick and cobblestone like in "dicken's village" and ice gets stuck in the cracks. and everyone has hats and scarves that flow in the wind and snow topped roofs and dead trees with tiny bits of white snow on them. So I will be honest, we californians really don't know what we're missing.

me, the academic side

I had a moment today as i was reading pages and pages of stuff. Really it was nothing more than stuff, but all that reading finally got me thinking. I feel like i have been having one giant brain fart the past few months trying to get my academic mojo back and constantly asking myself "what was it i wrote my personal statement on? where is my passion? where is my flair? what is my big idea?" And then after watching a very touching episode of oprah today (as though all of her episodes aren't touching) where she had this african band of refugees who made their own instruments and play as a way of expressing themselves i finally kind of got a vision. it was simple but deep. wanna hear it? no? ok i'll tell you anyways (this might only make sense to like 3 people who read this and know about psychology and know what i'm studying so apologies).

latinos are always put together with black as a "racial minority" but no one ever actually does reserach on latinos cuz everytime they do nothing pans out. but i was thinking maybe this is because they are always using black measures, looking at latinos from a racialized lense. then you take the fact that latinos are usually immigrants into account and you realize that if you take their homeland into account most of these people are the poorest of the poor from their countries (mexico, central america). These people are the equivalent of refugees but no one here gives a shit about them. they come here and they fill the lowest caste of society and they have dreams for their children and those dreams don't always mean getting phd's or becoming lawyers. And it's not because latinos some how devalue education. In fact lots of studies show that they really do value it, but i'ts less about learning and more about using school as a means of not "working as hard as i do someday.' But you are talking about a group of peopel who essentially has nothing beyond a 5th grade education, so to come here and have their kids graduate from college is a big deal. I'm not expressing myself well but what i'm trying to say is that maybe it's not a race issue at all. obvi it' sa race issue to americans and to latinos who have been here for a while but i'm talking about the FOB's. maybe to them it's a class issue and you can't expect a group of peopel who are the most oppressed in their country to come here and know what it means to be middle class and to take on middle class values. And some of them become financially middle class (ie my family) but that doesn't mean that they don't still carry with them their 3rd world culture of poverty. So waht i'm saying is perhaps we should stop comparing them to blacks and start talking about them relative to where they come from literally and psychologically.

ok that was kind of really broad and you all are like...whaaa happeeeeen, but point being my prof wants me to do a focus group on latino parents and how they socialize their kids to understand racial discrimination and i was like "um i don't think they do. i think they are more worried about their kids being poor than they are about their kids experiencing prejudice." and she was like...wow that was deep. and we had a moment where i enlightened her. and then i was talkign to ozan and he was like...really, the immigrants from latin america are super poor? i didn't realize that. and i was like...WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN! because seriously i ws shocked.

ok this soapbox is a bit to high for me right now so i'm gonna get off it and watch some gilmore girls. someday when i get published (and make a lot more sense) you can all say you were there at the formation of my theory.

PS, is it odd to see me have some sense of depth when i'm usually talking about drinking and jello shots and clothing and watching copious amounts of television?

flashbacks

2 days later I am sitting here watching Grey's anatomy season 1 and it's the episode where the interns all throw a party and everyone cuts lose and gets really drunk and then all of a sudden midway through this episode i had a flashback! Ozan's girlfriend threw a party and there were jello shots. I gave them my special recipe of making the jello shots with vodka and sprite instead of water wuch that you have a nice little fiz. Thank you Miami, my soph/junior year roommate with whom i co-created the recipe. Ok but the point is, the point is....hmm let me just peice the night together wth you all now:

9:45 - went to wendy's house to throw a surprise "farewell" party for sigaporean jen.

10:00 - started drinking gigantic triple sized bottle of wine that Hugo had purchased at costco = good value

10:30 - still waiting in the dark for jen to "surprise" show up. open up second bottle of gigantic "good value" wine

11:15 - Jen finally rolls in. Me = officially drunk.

11:30 - walk 2 houses over to go to some philosophy party. Hugo decides that he and I should each pick philosophers and walk into the house arguing pro-their point of view. He chooses Kant (btw none of actually knew what Kant's argument was. damn you IHUM!). I decided I would argue for Alexi DeToqueville so I just threw in a lot of words about democracy and stuff. It was kind of awesome and we sort of caused a scene as we walked in. Truth is though, we were both hella drunk so our "scene" could have just been really sad and not at all entertaining. I was entertained though, so that was enough.

11:45 - this was NOT a good grad school party. we decided to blow this pop stand and finally walk to Minayo's jello shot party. We begin walking the 10 minute walk to her house

11:50 - I lose feeling in my fingers. Note to self: buy thicker gloves or double up with some isotoners underneath.

11:55 - arrive at party. lots of "woooo!!!" and high fives. Upon arrival we all down 2 jello shots.

12:00 - here is where the night starts to fuzz up so I'm just going to free thought the rest of this. I think there was another shot somewhere in there. There were also 2 very vodka heavy vodka tonics. I did some dancing, I cockblocked drew as this really drunk silly ho tried hitting on him. Drew is in a long distance engagement so for the sake of his woman i intervened at the request of Fernando. We tlaked SOOOOO MUCH SHIT! Oh and then the silly ho fell on my knee caps later in the night on her head. The sad part about this was that everyone laughed and instead of helping her came to me and said "are your knees ok." haha. silly ho!! This morning I was doing laundry and I had this flashback to smelling someone's shirt all night long and then i remembered! Me and Fernando kept sniffing Drew's shirt because it smelled like downey but it was like the most intense downey smell EVER. it was so nice.

I have little mini flashbacks of the rest of the night which included more dancing (probably highly uncoordinated). Oh god flashback, taking what fernando and I kept calling "futon shots!" This is not alcoholic but consisted of us doing dumb gangsta poses on the futon. thus "futon shots!!" Nishi and I walked home and talked about how awkward this guy Scott was. the funny part of this was that Scott was walking WITH US! ha oh god. I also have a vague recollection of pulling an apple out of my purse (i guess i had stuffed it in there for just an occasion. I'm fucking brilliant sometimes) and then after eating half of it dropping it because i lost feeling in my fingers from the cold.

the only thing i remember next is waking up and thinking...oh shit let me look at my outgoing calls and texts. There was some very mooshy text to david, and then 2 short calls. So I talked to david....hmmm. In the morning he called me with that wierd "hey" tone like "hey my drunk girlfriend, how are you feeling you lush." it was a tone. Anyways apparnetly i had been really mean and beligerant and I was kind of in the doghouse for the rest of the day because drunkenness is no excuse for being mean.

So let's go full circle. I was watching grey's anatomy the episode where the surgical interns all throw a party and get hella drunk and i could relate...really really relate.

I've Changed Part bagillion

It occured to me this morning as I took my 2 tablespoons of "secrets of the psillium" fiber suppliment, after taking my one teaspoon of flaxseed oil to prevent heart disease, after eating my one serving of Kashi "go lean" cereal that I'VE CHANGED!! seriously ugh i've become one of those health freaks! I excercise reguarly, I eat all whole wheat and fiber products and I don't eat butter or unnatural sugars. when did this happen? San Francisco really changed me. Next thing you know I'm gonna start shopping at Whole Foods. Ok I will nto do that because whole foods is one of the places that i do not support like wal mart and abercrombie and fitch. I always say that people can only have like 3 or 5 causes that they really support. Otherwise there is too much bad shit in the world to really support or not support it all. So yeah, those are my 3 that i don't support. Instead i shop at Trader Joe's, which clearly makes me a far superior person. uughh

hate
my-
self

The greatest lesson I will ever teach you

dude, 2 words, VODKA GIMLET.

ok for reals though, I have meant to write about this. A long time ago, i believe it was tory who spoke to me of the gimlet but i never really look her advice to heart. But over teh past few weeks i have been ordering them and I am a convert. It is vodka (or tequila or gin, but i prefer vodka) with just a SPLASH litrrrrrrally of lime juice. So in the end you pay a little bit more but you get more liquor for your bang. And what a bang it is. Tonight i met 2 HELLA cool gays. they are both from the tropics, Trinidad and Haiti. finally i meet the gays! we are all going to a party tomorrow so we'll see how that goes.

But guys, seriously, my only statement as to say I recommend if you want to get drunk for less money, order the vodka gimlet. It has the cristina seal of approval on it, and I know my cocktails.

VODKA GIMLET!!!

ok sidenote, i also just like saying the word "gimlet." It makes me feel british like "halllo guvna!"