"i'll be tasty tasty!"

wow the other night was HELLA good times, proving once again that if you put me, ivan, and cathy (and obvi bobby, but he was not present) in the middle of nowhere we will have good times. A while back we were trying to think of places to go and cathy and i thought it would be funny if we went to the south like to colonial williamsburg or something just to prove that we can in fact have a good time. The reason i mentioned colonial williamsburg was that in that movie "shag" the girls don't want ot go there, they want to go to the beach to meet boys and dance the shag. this leads me to believe that it must be a pretty dullsville location

aaaaaanyways point being, we had fun. we went to dave and busters. for those not in the know this is grown up chucky cheese with a bar. I personaly don't care that much for video games because i'm not good at them and stuff, but when i heard half off all drinks after 10 i was like...yes, i will drink with you. so i will list off to you in bullet points highlights of the night.

- driving to The Block in cathy's kia sssssssspectra drunk and belig (not cathy, but the rest of us) singing fergalicioussssss. Ivan kept singing in falsetto "i'll be tassssty tasssssty" on repeat

- cathy continually telling us all night "this is my life! suburban LA! this is my life"

- realizing that while teh block used to be kind of cool it's now super ghetto.

- everyone talking with lisssssps all night long until finally i was liek "do you guys know that when you elongate your ssssss's you are mocking me." some people didn't know. It was like the etimology of the lisssssssssp. then cathy alluded to the story of when i first found out that i had a lisp. senior year, knott's scary farm. I girl i didn't really know from my clas said "you know, you have a really cute lisp." she may or may not have been a lessssbian hitting on me. Well i was like "i don't have a lisp??? ryan do i have a lisp? margaret do i have a lisp?" everyone was liek "yeah we thought you knew." People i had known like all my life! and then i asked my mom and she said she was going to send me to speech therapy but the doctor said it wasn't that bad. eeemagine!! learning all of this at the age of 18!! needless to say i have never quite recovered.

- yelling beligerantly at our waitor gustavo. "where the HELL is guuuustavo!! i need my gimlet! gustavo!" gustavo was actually right behind me and i felt really bad so i left hiim an extra dollar.

- attempting to take pictures of ivan only to prove the point once again that ivan is the most unphotogenic person ever. i tried different angles but alas. he kept yelling "you knwo i hate my profile!!!"
GAY!!!

- paloma continuing to my chagrin to use that damn aZian peace sign. Paloma! you are not in china right now! you are mexican! please stop!
i proceeded to tell paloma the story of how the azian peace sign came to be. I cant' remember who told me this but it was a realiable source, and i may have written about this before so just bare with me. so back in the late 80's early 90's all of hhhhhapan and asian was obsessed wit hello kitty. And so girls would do the 2 fingers on both cheeks to represent kitty whiskers. Well this got shorted to one hang holding up 2 fingers to represent whiskers. now everyone thinks it's a peace sign or "v for victory" when in fact it might all just be about the love of hello kitty.
herrro kitty!!


- heckling a group of white kids at the trivia game and then kicking their asses and forcing them to leave. this game was awesome! it had a big trivia board and a wheel o topics, all automated. And had like 6 seats whch 3 buttons on them (a,b,c) and when the question was asked whoever hit the right answer first got points. so you got points for correct answers but also for speed. the top winner got up to 190 tickets, while 2nd and 3rd place got like 60 tickets. this was a really good game for winning tickets. Anyways we heckled these people, made them lose, took all the tickets, and they walked away. team mejjjico and indochin lives long!

- noticing a girl walking around with a hello kitty backpack and thinking..."um really a hello kitty backpack?"

- realizing she had won the backpack and dave and busters and at that moment deciding that i had to win that backpack so that next year my halloween costume can be a harajuku love child. eeemagine!

- returning to the trivia game to find it full of asians and one black couple. it was at that moment that cathy and i realized....this was racial survivor. the light skinnded asians vs. the messicans and dark skinned asians. it was ON!!!
right next to us was Hai, some kid that paloma knew from u penn. He too was vietnamese. we had an alliance with him. brown power!! I believe the question we are trying ot answer was a sports question. the sports ones were our waterloo, and those damn white asians were sooo good at them!! i feel bad cuz the black team didn't win at all. the only answer they got was one about outkast. v. sad. at one point i was liek "cathy they are from uc irvine!! come on cathy! we went to private school!" so since hai had also gone to private school we were fighting for all of our kind. turned out they went to ucla...not so big difference. anyways we fought like warriors but in the end we really only made it up to like 2nd place and they kept mocking us. I had to plea to them "guys! can you just let us win! All we want is to get enough tickets to buy a hello kitty backpack!" then they were like "where did you guys go" and i yelled "stanford bitch!!" and he was liek "we kicked your asses at football. to which cathy responded. "football! football! who gives a shit about football! we win in the game of LIFE!!" oh snap!! Finally in my moment of true glory the subject was tv and films, the question was "who plays peyton on the show 'one tree hill.'" I COULD DO THIS!!! i totally knew the answer because, yes, i watch one tree hill!! finally my love of bad tv was paying off!! i was the only person to get that answer and in the end it won us the game. Racial survivor!!! Mexicans/vietnamese reign supreme (for one round at least)!

- we combined our tickets and realized that we had 5000 tickets. eeemagine!! it was at that moment in the gift shop where it hit us. We coudl buy not one, but TWO hello kitty backpacks! in the end amanda wanted some lame speakers for her birthday but i did get a hello kitty backpakc in the ultimate moment or irony.

ivan and i posing with our hello kitty backpackssssss. i know you're jealoussss
"why hello babar!" "why hello zebra!" ivan ended up getting the stupid babar elephant. "why helooooooooo!!"
ivan amongst the stuffed amminals
"dah!"
heeeeeey! we also got a gay care bare! yay rainbow homo bear stare!!! as we walked by the asian guys who had kicked our asses cathy started yelling "i know you're jealousssss of my hello kitty backpack!!!" I love vince's face in this picture. He truly looks like a harajuku.

then we drove to cathy's friend, amanda's house and on the way there we had this awesome convo that went like this
vince: "i have to pee!!!"
cathy: "just go!"
me: "vince just go!
cathy: "just go"
me: "fergie did it! it's ok"
ivan: "i'll be tasty taaaassssty!!"
all of us "haha you are stupid!! haha!"

then at amanda's house she wooed us with her lessssssbian vagina whaling strummy la la music.
paloma sang us "wiiiilld horsssses, couldn't drag me away" and we had a lesssbian orgie. juuuuust kidding! no but it was all hot. especially as that mexi melt was coming back up in the form of heartburn. overall a great night. truly good times to be remembered.

in other news david called me a few days ago with his usual greeting
"i have good news and badnews"
my response is always "bad news first"
the bad news was, that he had gone to the scottsdale mall to check out all the stores that i frequent and he concluded "you have REALLY expensive taste!" He went into burberry and thought he'd get me a scarf only to realize how much they cost. Then he said he went into louis vuitton which he thought would be cheaper. nope in fact it was more expensive. In the end who knows what he got me, but after discussing it with grace we realized that we are not very good at manipulatin gour men to get us things that we want. i do'nt do the whole "let's go shopping os i can show you things that i like and hint to you htat i want them so that you can buy them for me later and then manipulate you and then you can 'surprise' me with something i told you i wanted." fuck that! i usually see what i like...weigh the cost and in the end say i'll just buy it for myself. this is also why i don't really like shopping wiht peope. i don't like them ot see how much money i spend on my thingsssss. perhap sthis is why men have never given me good gifts. to me a good gift is something that someone never knew they wanted or needed but once they get it, they are ever grateful. best gift ever, when jorge gave me a tivo. hands down! hands down!!

so on that note i got david what i think are awesome gifts. A 6 month subscription to the economist because everytime we go to a bookstore he likes ot read it but says it's too expensive for him ot purchase himself. I also got him the equivalent of "now that's music" in spanish because he's always asking me about spanish songs he hears on the radio and i do'nt have spanish radio so i don't know and his spanish is realy bad so i can't understand him. so hopefully this CD has all the songs he likes. and then i'm thinking i might get him a little something else, not sure what. In the end i'm pretty sure my gift will be better than his to me, but i admit, i'm really hard to shop for so it's not for a lack of his trying. and he does nice things for me all the time liek taking me out to nice restaurants and listening ot me when i'm upset and stressed (sometimes) and so in the end some stupid gift one day a year does not equate to all the nice stuff he does for me throughout the year.