Single Behavior II

remember how i talked about single behavior earlier? well david has his own wierd single behavior. now i won't go into the details of his more personal gross behavior but this is kind of funny. so he's working on his grant right now that is due later tonight and he's had a realy bad schedule at work so i feel bad for the guy. Well he came home tonight really stressed on the verge of tears and then went to his computer and turned on the Scrubs theme song. apparently he does this when he's stressed, he listens to "i can't do this all on my own, i'm no supreman" and does like fist pumps and points his finger at the computer and perses his lips and closes his eyes and i felt bad for him cuz i saw the desperation in his eyes but i also wanted to laugh cuz it was just so ridiculous. and he roams around his room saying melodramatic things like "you're betting on a losing horse, cristina! a losing horse" and his most recent edition "i'm a broken china pot (pointing at his chest). That's me." And hten i think about how someties i put on "call on me" just to get pumped up, so i am not above judgement myself.

swonder, sfabulous, smarvellous

I LOVE san francisco in January, not because of the wretched weather, or the snobby hipster but because IT'S DINE ABOUT TOWN MONTH!!! DAT is when all the finest restaurants in the city open their doors to the common folk of society by having a 3 to 4 course prix fixe menu that usually ranges from 25 to 35 dollars. Mind you these are meals that might normally cost you 60 dollars. It took me six month to pay off my dept from DAT 2006, and the same amount of time to drop the 10 lbs of glorious deliciousness that i gained: heavy cream sauces, chanterelles, beef, foie gras, etc!!!!! last night bobby and i went to the XYZ restaurant in the W hotel and had a fine dining experience. First course i had a beet sssssalad (red, yellow and orange beets. who knew there were so many!) and some fancy goat cheese that looked like brie and tasted like feet, and i mean that in the best way. Bobby had a white bean roasted garlic soup. Then we added on a course of butternut squash stuffed ravioli topped with grilled chanterelle mushrooms. mmmmm. Then for our main course we both dined on sssssalmon ssssteaks atop a risotto cream thing with various orange sssslices and what not. for desert i had the sorbet. guys, it was really good.

anyways point being i love fine dining. It's kind of like how i love watching food network because i love seeing how food is made as an art form, but i hate cooking. so over dinner bobby and i were discussing our friends and i thought about how much i love my friends and how rarely i thank them so i wanted to do a shout out MTV style to my peeps.

Cathy: thank you for listening to me bitch about the most mundane things. If we did not have our daily 4 hour convos i think i might go insane

Ivan: thank you for being like the little brother i never had.

Bobby: thank you for being fabulous and always giving me your good mood. Grace always says that when we decide to spend time wiht peopel we should always try to give them our good mood otherwise it's a waste of time. you always give yoru good mood.

Orges: thank you for telling it to me straight

Emily: thanks for alwyas introducing me to new technology since i never keep up with these things. Seriously, this shit changes my life

anyways i've spent the past 3 days sitting in david's basement apartment just kind of waiting for inspiration while he's off saving lives in the hospital. he leaves at 5:30 and comes back at like 6. is this what it's like to be a housewife? If so i would make the worst house wife EVAAAAA. for seers, i like to clean but david is too anal to let me touch anything and he has no cleaning product. And i hate cooking so it's not liek i'm gonna slave away all day over a hot meal for him. And there is just something relaly demeaning about cooking and cleaning for someone, namely a man. I ran a couple of times, which was like....ok i guess. maybe if i were a housewife i'd get a gym membership and just work out all the time at those nice gyms that have tv's in every treadmill. I think that's waht i'd do. I miss my tivo. i miss grad school and having purpose. I miss my bed and my pillow and my couch and my bathroom with the clean hairless floor that is vacuumed twice a week, and all of my shoes and clothes. I miss my single life!! i mean i'm not single but you know waht i mean. Liek when carrie talks about not being able to live with a man cuz she has her single habits that she can't give up. i miss my living alone habits. i don't think i could ever live with someone else. i'd have to have my own bathroom and private tv watching room where i could watch the oc (damn it being cancelled) and gilmore girls without being judged, and a cleaning lady. I guess i could leave the house and do something but i have no real inspiration to do that either. I didnt' bring any good city walking shoes, my bad. Anyways i've used this time to catch up on and download shows i wanted to see but can't becuase i don't have premium cable. So i watched all of weeds season 2....BOMB SHOW!! then i watched the first 2 episodes of dexter, which was also real good, waiting on the latter episodes to download. um...that's about it.

At this point in the night the ssssss's were sssssluring like what!! the dinner and mixer part of the party was over and now was time for the actual guests to arrive so we could start dancing. bobby and I had compiled a mix of the greatest hits from the 70's, 80's, 90's and beyond. I shall tell the rest of the story in pictures

the first guests to arrive were paloma and amanda. "herro!!"
Cathy and ivan are very excited to see that the ladies had a nice time dining at the clam sssssslammer. "hey guyssss!" cathy's greeting for every asian that came in was "herrrroooo azians!! serioulsy cristina, what the fuck wiht all the azians here!!??"
then jorge and leanne arrived
heeey!! But we were a little more excited by the arrival of the guest of honor!
ivan is very excited to see his ex lover, hello kitty.
"kisses!!"
GAY!
We knew the party was getting serious when the captain hat came out.
i would liek to say this was cathy's last drink, but sadly, it was one of many. Cathy! put down the pitcher!
my michigan peeps arrived to party wiht us, but sadly this was the last we saw of them since they really couldn't hang with us. Talk about not being able to hold your liquor. An hour after this Hugo was vomitting falling on furniture, vomitting on the roof.
OG Roomates! Awe so cute.
as you can see teh pictures start getting a little more crooked and off sides. Harajuku and amanduuuuuuuuuh
random shots of cathy dancing. i tthink they speak for themselves. Before these pictures were taken the speakers went out and all we had was bass with no treble. we all tried to fix it and cathy kept yelling "this is the WORST NEW YEARS EVER!!! we didnt' even get to listen to fergalicious! the worst!!! i hate everything!!! how wretched!" Our alternate plan was to turn on the magic mic and karaoke for the rest of the night. we turned it on adn cathy started singing "jitterbug! da da da jitterbug!! you put the boom boom into my smiiiiiile." Bobby and i looked at each other and quickly unplugged the mic. vince worked on it and in the end we ended up with sub par speakers but at least we could still sing "i'll be tasty tasty!" Pictures of cathy dancing to fergalicious. It was one of those things where she said the next day she thought she looked really sexy but then saw the pics and was liek "oh my god!!" it was like the scene in beerfest.

it's amazing that she didn't pass out after this picture
I love this picture because it has so many stories going on:
-first off the girl in the green was from michigan and was being a total buzz kill. like seriously! she got so drunk that she was slipping all over the place and then started yelling "did you knowthat i'm bleeding from when i fell earlier!! and then kept sticking herself in random pictures
-fernando was really drunk and trying to get on paloma, but i don't think he knew that she had just been dining at the clam slammer earlier that night.
-before fernando got there ivan's goal of the night was to see if fernando was gay or straight and part of this was that ivan was "giving him eyes" all night and trying to dance with him. I think teh key word here is "trying" as you can see ivan "trying" in this shot
-it looks like bobby is looking at cathy's luscious breassssts with disgust and cathy is having a moment with her drink and the song.
i think after this picture was taken paloma and amanda snuck off to ivan's roommate's room to do god knows what and it was at that point (and after them making out all over the party) that we decided that lesbians are officialy the best party accessory ever
ivan again "trying" to seduce fernando. the funny thing is that when we went on the roof ivan started grinding on fernando and fernando was pushing him away in horror. david goes to me "look, fernando looks really uncomfortable." and literlaly 2 seconds later ivan comes up to me and goes "oh my god he's sooooo gay!! he wants me sooooo bad!!!" I didn't have the heart to tell him the truth because, well, it was just too funny to watch. You cant' tell but ivan is pushing paloma out of this shot, her hand is in the center.
fucking fernando ruined a really good picture of us
cathy and i at midnight. woo!! it was that beer that really did her in i think. I mean, just look at her. it's like she's sucking on mother's milk.
well fernando vomitted and we stuck him in a cab, cathy booted and passed out on ivan's bed. ivan passed out right next to her and bobby and nuria passed out respectively.
it was a great party. me, david, and vince, decided to take bobby home since he lives around the corner, and i tell you, watching vince and david carry bobby home was like a scene from weekend at bernie's. especially when the cops drive by us and we had to play it cool like bobby was actually conscious. How i got bobby up 3 flights of stairs, i do not know, but he proceeded to run to the bathroom to do god knows what where he consequently locked himself in. the next 15 minutes consisted of me talking to bobby through the door "bobby just turn the lock" and him responding by pouding on the door and saying "crisssssty. i don't want to be in this ssssssituation any more than you do." I thought bobby was just turning the lock the wrong way but it turned out he was sitting on the floor scratching at the door trying to literally claw his way out. His roommate had to crawl through the window to free him.

the next morning i headed over the the boys apartment. I walked in and saw that dan and his friends sitting on the couch singing in the mag mic "it's like raaaaaaain on your weddding day!" This led to a nice little morning hang over karaoke sess. i sang "total eclipse of the heart" and dan wooed us with rendition of "down on bended knee." then the saddest part of teh morning came when ivan started singing "all by myself" liek he really was the saddest girl to ever hold a martini. then we all went to a sports bar in the marina to watch teh rose bowl and the one thing that everyone kept saying as they looked at the pictures was "wait, we went on the roof?? i don't remember going on the roof!!" but here is the highlight of my morning. seeing that i had in fact filmed cathy doing her "sexy" dances to nelly furtado's maneater. this was the only song cathy wanted to hear all night and so she was very excited when it came on. I wish the quality of this video was better but it was dark in the room and i was drunk. the sound really says it all.

the next morning she refused to watch herself, citing that it was too painful.

The best part is that she's yelling "don't play this song if you don' t want me to dance!" I didn't play the song, she did. at the end of the video her face goes all crazy. upon further inspection we realized this was in fact not her "maneater" face but actually hugo and spilled his drink all down her back and so she was shocked. i think my next purchase is going to be a camera and i'm gonna take better videos with actual color and light and where you can see them.

alas that was new years, an average day in the life of us. damn it feels good to be a gansta

montages!!

This part of the night is called montages, when we randomly for no reason started doing montages of things like building the champagne pyramid and stuff. sometimes you just need a montage! montaaage! I think at this point we had already celebrated 4 different new years from around the world, so that might explain the whole montage idea.

THE CHAMPAGNE PYRAMID
Initially the pyramid was not working because we couldn't figure out the right angle (obviously a pyrimid but you know) and the number of glasses needed. We tried many different ways and finally david sat down for a few minutes, thought it out, and figured out how to make the perfect champagne pyramid!
the last glass on the pyramid! aaaaaannnnndd...Ta la!!!
the goal was to be able to take champagne shotsthe only slight problem was that 2 bottles of champagne only really ended up filling like 8 glasses, which was highly unfortunate. so the pyramid just kind of ended up sitting there empty until the dancing started and we had to move it to another location. Another idea that was good in theory.

IVAN MEETING HERRO KITTY
and then for no apparent reason, ivan said "do a photo montage of me meeting herro kitty!!! do a photo montage!!"

"why, hello...kitty"
"oh you are so cute aren't you!! oooh!"
"i love you herrrrooo kitty!!!""mmmmm!!! kissses!!!"
"wait! you, WHAT!!! UGH!""HOW DARE YOU!!"
and that was the end of ivan's torrid affair with herro kitty.

IVAN DANCING TO SOS
at some point in the night, i think after celebrating chicago's new years (and 2 consecutive shots of grey goose) cathy put on rihanna SOS and ivan started screaming "isn't this the best song to do THISSSSS!!!"
here goes that damn peace sign again
he was spinning in circles yelling "WOOOO!"
drunk ivan really is the best

the next section after this is just going to be called "drunk" because, fuck, we were so drunk.

dinner

We started celebrating New Years at 4pm that day when pablo informed us that it was new years in "the continent." Apparenlyt that is what people in europe call europe, "the continent." they swear! like they are the only fucking contintent in the world. ugh. Anyways our first celebration went like this

Pablo: happy new years paris!
everyone: happy new years!!
Ivan: Paris is in Sydney!
Pablo (gives ivan look of judgement)

See the joke was that pablo was actually talking about paris the city on "the continent" and ivan was talking about the hilton. Anyways we decided to celebrate new years every hour on the hour and we stopped the music and we played "auld lang syne" and took shots of champagne and it was wonderous.

well i decided the only real way for me to tell the story of new years would be to tell it in segments, sobriety to drunk to crunk. The night began with a fantabulous dinner cooked by our most talented dan, with seux chef ivan. As you know, in our friend group the women don't cook, because we don't believe in it.

here is our cheese platter
classy is it not. do you like cahty's center piece of candles we found lying around.

Here is our table setting, sure we had to use paper plates and some cheesy decor but we are too young to own anything of value like nice plates, and we didn't want to wash dishes after AND it was chinet!! Need i say more?
then we proceeded to take prom style photos in front of the New Years sign
how bomb is this sign!! no seriously. it only cost 4.99!! eeemagine! Look at cathy's face. can you beleive this was like 1 hour into the party? just wait til you see the later pictures. This is a hat i made myself. It was a little mini top hat and i glued it to a black headband and it counted as my black tie outfit. Apparenlty some people who shall remain unnamed (cough cough ivan!) decided that black tie meant wearing jeans, even though i specifically said NO JEANS!! ugh whatevs.
couple shots!!
david and i think we look like a professor couple in their deans picture. i have a feeling that this whole mocking the azian peace sign thing is gonna turn into one of those things where we do it all the time and it becomes a really bad habit, to the point where people who dont' know us think we are serious.


and then we started drinking from our homemade pimp cups (also knowns as a bedazzled vase and pitcher) and it was all downhill from now
the caption behind this picture was "take a picture of our breasssssts!!! THEEEEEEESE ID'S!!"
anyways we dined on a beet soup (borch? spelling?) which was like way more awesome than one would imagine. like seriously it was the shit! we also had a really nice gazpachio, which i normally do'nt like but was really good. Then we had some parsnip and potatoe mash, chicken with pesto wrapped inside, a roast with a cilantro sauce. point being it was good.

and then....we drank more