Rethinking My Life

A lot of things have been pressing on my mind, like what do I do to make this world a better place? I mean there is the professional question but there is also the question of like, how do I help further the survival of the human race. I read 2 really sad and interesting things, one being about how the amount of meat we eat is a) disgusting and b) killing the environment. Now I’m not a big environmentalist. I mean like I use reusable bags and I recycle when it’s convenient and I don’t’ drive very much. But when I read how much grain and corn is wasted on providing meat for fat Americans instead of like feeding starving children in African it made me never want to eat red meat again. And yes I am easily swayed and I’m sure that if the world went vegetarian all the soy production would also kill the environment. The point is I am wasteful and I should try not to be. And then I read things like this…how poor people in Haiti are eating dirt and I’m like….wow I hate myself.

And then my roommate got a letter from our local (read: over priced) deli saying that the cost of fresh loaves of bread is going from 4.99 to 7.99 because of the increased cost of wheat since corn is being grown instead. And the thing is, it just makes me feel like unless we really revamp our lives then we cant’ change anything. The point is that we are just disgustingly wasteful and excessive and it needs to stop. And not that me writing this is gonna make it happen but I’m just saying in solidarity to those who care that it makes me sad. The truth is as much as living in a coop was one of the suckiest parts of my life it also taught me a lot about like what texturized vegetable protein and composting is. And it also helped me to kick my soda habit and learn to subsist solely on water. imagine

I mean when I think about it I am not such a horrible person. I eat red meat like 3 times a year. I am pretty much like 75% vegetarian give or take some chicken stalk. I hardly drive anywhere when given the option of public trans. So anyways not meaning to sound all douchy but it just makes me sad.

And then there is the question of our economy and how orges thinks it’s gonan like die or something and how I don’t’ have any savings. I am going to be 26 in a short 2 months here and I literally have not a cent to my name. Sure I have some purses and shoes that have not completely gone down in value, but like really if my family were to die (god forbid) and I were to be left to my true wits I would probably die. I spend my money on liquor and food and shopping and even when I’m “giving up” shopping I’m still spending it on like 8 dollars French soaps and 30 dollar avocado eye creams. I mean SERIOUSLY, I disgust myself.

So anyways next Wednesday marks the beginning of Lent which to most practicing catholics is a time of rethinking our lives. I mean really I think it's about thinking about how things and the world are getting in the way of your relationship to God, but for me God is like…happiness and so I see it more as like, how are the things that I fill my life with getting in the way of my happiness. So anyways being that I am sick all the time and generally feel out of sorts and have all sorts of dreadful allergies, I have decided to embark on a homeopathic detox program for 40 days. So basically I’m gonna get rid of all processed foods, meats (I think. I’m still reading exactly what it entails), wheats and glutens, non natural sugars, and dairy in my diet. To be honest those are all things that i pretty much only eat when i give into my whims or when we have some kind of event at school where we get offered free donuts. this happens more than you might imagine, though. but overall the only thing that really is my one vice of eating is sangwhiches. What I’m left with is water, vegetables, fruit, legumes, and herbs and some vitamin supplements. But supposedly to be healthy you should do this like a few times a year just to get your body working properly. Basically homeopathics believe that all of your health problems come from your colon and the bacteria that do or don’t live in there. And these can cause like allergies and such. Oh I forgot I also have to give up alcohol. I feel like it will just be a time for me to try to heal my body (yes this sounds super new agey, but roll with me here) and like center myself. I also have to add regular exercise to my life which is kind of hard since it’s cold as balls outside but I will continue to swim and occasionally take walks when the weather permits. As far as gyms…that’s not my style so I’m not gonna commit to some gym regime that I can’t stick to because HELLO that is self defeating.

But anyways while researching this diet through some books that my boss gave me I am learning so many things. Like did you know that you shouldn’t drink more than 4 oz of water with meals because it dilutes the acids in your stomach? This totes makes sense since I am a person who gets frequent heartburn and also drinks too much water with their meals. I mean I’m just saying…I want to cleanse my mind body and spirit and all that shit.

So i will tell you all more as the time comes. But on another note, it's really cold. it's like -5 with windchill. i literally thought i was going to die on my walk home last night. and my nose was dripping like a faucet into my scarf and my legs hurt and i had to keep telling myself "one more block, one more block." It may or may not snow so i think the temperature might go up a bit, but it's seriously wretched. just wanted to share that with you all so that you can appreciate your own weather and so that the californians can stop bitching about a week of rain. Imagine 5 months of no sun! yeah, shut up!