breakdown....breakthrough

So all week long I had been super excited about the new harry potter. I had also been diagnosed with a UTI which was making me feel like shit (not to mention making me have to pee like every 5 minutes). But i was still going to trudge on and go to the borders pre party to get my early copy. None of my friends here seemed to be as hardcore as me and didn't seem to really care. my plan was to buy the book at midnight and come home and read it all night until i finished. the plan changed. Lucky for me david "the cuban" and his boyfriend decided to come with me to check out all the hocus pocus of the event. Thank god they were there because otherwise i would have had no one to take me to the hospital when i started to have a bad reaction to my antibiotics. I was having terrible back pain, cramps, nausea, clamyness, and chills all down my arms so i kept telling them "just wait till they call my group!! then we can go to the ER but just let me get my copy of the deathly hollows!" Finally it was when i nearly fainted that they made an executive decision to screw the book and go to the ER. ER's are wierd at like 1am. There was no one really there and they saw me right away. They did all kinds of tests and hooked me up to an IV and asked if i was allergic to saline. I had no idea so they went and did it anyways. So there i was, in my hospital gown, with an IV in my arm and 2 very large gay men passed out on my side. At one point they injected this anti nausea medicine directly into my IV drip which shot all through my veins and got my heart pounding like it was going to shoot out of my chest. It was really scary and i thought i was having a heart attack. I wasn't, apparently that is normal and they forgot to tell me. So after making you feel liek you are dying the anti nausea medicine knocks you right out and i started talking like paula abdul. I was liek "wy doen's anone appriciiatef muuu" i was like slurring up a storm and then i just passed the fuck out. Something i didn't know, when saline is being dripped into you it feels like vics vapo rub on your veins and then suddenly you get the chills all up and down your body and you need like 5 blankets to make it go away. Also saline makes you have to pee really bad which is hard to do when they leave you now bedpan and you can't take out your own iv. it was drama. So yeah, my antibiotics were apparently making the infection worse and now i had a full blown kidney infection. They let us out at 7am and gave me a prescription for a new antibiotic which so far has not made me feel liek i am dying. this is a good thing.

so now i've been in my room for 2 days reading harry potter in between 3 hour "naps," peeing every 10 minutes, having spats of nausea and trying to find a comfortable spot where my back doesn't hurt. basically i feel like shit, but i feel less liek shit than i did on the other stuff so it's a welcome vacation from that.

and so now i've been in my basement for 2 days, the only person to relaly call has been my dad and i feel like samantha in sex and the city when she gets sicks and say "without a man you have nothing" or something liek that. Anyways it is in moments of sickness when we sometimes realize how alone we are. And sometime you just want someone to come over and fill your brita and bring you cranberry juice and watch "side order of life" or whatever other fantastic show lifetime has concocted. I feel my lonliness when i am this far from my family and there is no one really to care for you. I think the next time a friend is sick i am going to go to their house and take them soup and crackers and a movie and just spend time with them because sometimes that is all you want. And in the end the only people that i can really count on, are the gays, as always

alright, 200 more pages to go