life and stuff

ugh so i'm in LA which leaves me with lots of mixed feelings. First of all there is a severe dearth of blonde pale skinned people. Now i never thought i would say that but 8 months of the midwest has really made me notice these things. I went to UCLA today to use their library since i have a bunch of research i have to do for a prof and i noticed 2 major things. There were HELLA asians there. And i'm not sure if there actually are hella asians or if i'm just used to not seeing asians anymore. i just dont know. But secondly there appeared to be lots of mexicans students, but i could have been confusing the persian students with latinos. i mean we are both dark skinned and stuff.

so anyways i was at trader joe's with my parents yesterday buying food for the week since our fridge consists of old bananas, diet coke, and 3 kinds of milk and soy milk (seriously my parents live like frat boys). So anyways in the midst of purchasing some secrets of the psyllium and joint vitamins for my mom i ran into this guy i went to high school with. he actually works with my mom and lives with this other guy we went to school with. They kind of looked at me like "oh we are buying wine and she's buying fiber and joint medicine." It made me feel very like...i don't know. I guess it was a twin peaks, because basically i felt like an uncool teenager all over again. And i wanted to be like...seriously i am cool now! i am not a loser! But who knows, maybe i am. So anyways, i asked what they were doing and they were working locally in the south bay and lived down the street. I confess, i judged them a bit. We do not live in a cool part of LA and to be 25 and living in lomita after college is my worst nightmare. so anyways i was having this mixed feelings like "i think they are uncool but do they also think i am uncool?" and then one of them made some comment about michigan being really boring and i was like "actually no it's not." and then the other guy said "well she'd know about fun more than we would. She lived in the big city, San Francisco for a while" And for a moment, the fact that i was in sweats and a hoodie on a sunday afternoon with my parents buying vitamins did not make me feel so bad. As cathy put it, "to them you were this cool hippy chick who ate organic food and lived in san francisco." I know moving to SF doesn't seem like a big deal with seriously peopel from my high school did not do ANYTHING! they all went to school locally and styaed in touch and all still hang out and it' slike...just not my life at all. Anyways all this got me really excited to go to my high school reunion in a few years. I had this image of getting the 2 people i still keep in touch with, and maybe having my parents drop us off. And then i would get wasted and judge people who used to be thin but got fat.

They told me that this girl we knew is getting married to the guy she started dating end of senior year, high school sweet hearts and all that shit. And they had bought a house. And as i was driving back on the 405 today in my parents SUV in rush hour traffic i was feeling like winona ryder in reality bites when she says "people are having babies! babies! i cant' even take care of a chia pet!" Only in my case it was more like, people are buying houses and getting married and i frequently ride my bike home after nights of much drinking to pass out on my 50 dollar mattress in my basement! It's weird how grad school make you seem like you have these very mature qualities like intelligence and wisdom, but it can also make you seem like an irresponsible 19 year old with no real future. I guess what i'm saying is grad school is basically college with a bit more restraint. So anyways point being all of this made me reassess my life and i concluded, I have a pretty good life.

Puerto Rico!!!