background

Monday, March 12, 2007

oh paula deen, you do NOT slay me

so i'm sick in bed going in and out of sleep while i have teh food network on in the background. I have food poisoning so i'm not so sure that watching food being cooked is such a great idea since i kind of feel liek vomitting every 10 minutes. But anywyas i was just watching Sandra Lee who is CRAZY but i still kind of love her because she is just a little too cooky to not be appreciated. yes, her canned fruits and vegetables and box cakes are not really cooking but i love that her favorite part of the show is "cocktail hour" and "table scapes." If you've watched, you know what i mean. But now paula deen is on and she really really grosses me out. It could have been the time i watched her make a deep fried triple mayo egg sangwich. Or maybe it was the time seh had some left over butter in a dish and decided not to let it go to waste so she drank it. Watching her alwyas makes me wonder "do people really eat like this regularly?" and "is this what the south is like???" She just made some really gross sweet and sour meatballs with canned pinapples and ketchup and mustard. This is the kind of crap that they serve us at catered parties in michigan. Shit liek this would never fly in california. never! The "caterers" here also love to make various kind of 7 layer bean dip. Don't even get me started on my feelings about bean dip. it's about as mexican as a sweet and sour meatball is chinese.

paula deen uses such foreign ingredients to me like flour and buttermilk and deep frying oil. i know flour is a pretty standard cooking ingredient but i guess Mexicans just don't really use it because we've never had it in our house. She just dipped fried ochra (spelling?) into some mayonnaise and ate it on a stick.

I feel liek michael chiarello wouldn't let paula deen into his kitchen....EVER.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

dude Paula cracks me up without fail every time I watch her show. I like her normal show and also the one with the audience. Last time she threw a pineapple chutney covered biscuit at an audience member. Like, hocked it at this skinny girl and got chutney all over her shirt, apropos of nothing. Ever since then I've though Paul is kind of awesome in a crazy over-criscoed sort of way. I also like the way she's always dying to eat what she cooks and leads into every commercial break by noting that she's going to "eat this muffin" or "try this cake" or "eat this coleslaw covered shrimp cake" before we come back.

Emily said...

omg can i just say that your statement about michael chiarello is so true. i think that being in the radius of so much mayo would actually cause me to have an anticipatory/sympathetic heart attack.

my favorite sandra lee was one when she made a "romantic valentines day" tablescape and it seriously involved bright pink and then black lace. it looked like a halloween costume if you were dressing like you were in moulin rouge, and you bought your materials at walmart. in table form. it was even more disgusting than her food. oh i also love her themed kitchen, like once for tailgate party she did a themed USC kitchen. oh sandra lee.

anyway did you read the article in the new york times about how paula deen used to be agoraphobic? just a side note. apparently her cooking got her through. i supposed if i had a debilitating phobia i would drown myself in mayo as well. anyway i also love paula's sons. so ridiculous.

Emily said...

ps http://www.tvgasm.com/archives/food_network/001402.php