so many things wrong

Well apparently I live in a red state now and I must admit this is quite disconcerting. I've lived in California all of my life and so it's easy to assume that everyone is the same as we are over there and if they are different it's only by a small amount. But when red wins by a landslide in your state, which is said to be fairly liberal it becomes pretty obvious that this is not the case. And i generally hate being one of those people that talks about hating republicans and christians and the extreme right wing (wow i typed white by accident), but damnit i HATE the republicans right now. I'm sorry, i just do. And I am a christian but i dont' want to live in a country this is governed by christian law. Why can't the gays marry???? It was awful to see that all of these states had passed the ban on gay marriage. just awful. what a terrible message to send to fellow countrymen. "hi, we don't think you are equal to us. go away." And i hate bill oreilly and factor fans. So this election the big deal in michigan was that ward connerly had come from california backed by some rich white people and was trying to pass a ballot measure to get rid of affirmative action at all public institutions in michigan. he called it the "civil right inititiave" and was toting around shit saying that this was truly what civil rights was about and how colleges let in people who are not qualified and this is what martin luther king would have wanted. And that shit really hurts. that shit gets to my core because tey are talking about me and my friends. And i'm sorry but we had just as good GPA's just as good SAT's just as many extra currics, and we didn't go to prep schools so fuck you. I hate when people, especially people of color talks about "i made it by my bootstraps so you should to." Fuck that. you made it because someone took a chance on you. YOu made it by hard work but by luck also. This country is fucked up. Well no one can tell me that i'm not qualified to be here, but more importantly no one can say that they don't need my perspective cuz the perspective here is fucked up and biased and needs to be changed and THIS IS WHAT AFFIRMATIVE ACTION IS ABOUT. god so much hate.

Last night we all went to a bar to drink and watch the election results. As the night wained on and we realized we were losing in our fight to keep affirmative action we got really sad and drank more and got really depressed and started yelling how we hated michigan and this state (we are all from cali). But then we talked about how we loved this country probably more than the average white american because while we know what it means to have citizenship and to be american, we also know what it means to not have citizenship and to want to be american but not be allowed to. And then we talked about how prospective grad student weekend next year was going to suck because fernando and i woudl officially be the only mexicans in the entire school of ed, and 2 of four in the psych department and we're sure none will be let in again. ok this is a really badly written entry so i'm just gonna cut it here. takehome message. I feel about america the way i feel about my religion....i love God and the church, but i hate the way the people misinterpret Him and do terrible things in his name. I love my country, but i hate Americans who think they are following the letter of the law.

I'm going to a rally right now that is being held during the president of Umich's talk. She said if the measure got passed she would have some "interesting" things to say. Is michigan gonna go private????? Am i going to lose my minority only grant? watch cnn tonight, it's supposed to be a big deal.