Rethinking My Life

A lot of things have been pressing on my mind, like what do I do to make this world a better place? I mean there is the professional question but there is also the question of like, how do I help further the survival of the human race. I read 2 really sad and interesting things, one being about how the amount of meat we eat is a) disgusting and b) killing the environment. Now I’m not a big environmentalist. I mean like I use reusable bags and I recycle when it’s convenient and I don’t’ drive very much. But when I read how much grain and corn is wasted on providing meat for fat Americans instead of like feeding starving children in African it made me never want to eat red meat again. And yes I am easily swayed and I’m sure that if the world went vegetarian all the soy production would also kill the environment. The point is I am wasteful and I should try not to be. And then I read things like this…how poor people in Haiti are eating dirt and I’m like….wow I hate myself.

And then my roommate got a letter from our local (read: over priced) deli saying that the cost of fresh loaves of bread is going from 4.99 to 7.99 because of the increased cost of wheat since corn is being grown instead. And the thing is, it just makes me feel like unless we really revamp our lives then we cant’ change anything. The point is that we are just disgustingly wasteful and excessive and it needs to stop. And not that me writing this is gonna make it happen but I’m just saying in solidarity to those who care that it makes me sad. The truth is as much as living in a coop was one of the suckiest parts of my life it also taught me a lot about like what texturized vegetable protein and composting is. And it also helped me to kick my soda habit and learn to subsist solely on water. imagine

I mean when I think about it I am not such a horrible person. I eat red meat like 3 times a year. I am pretty much like 75% vegetarian give or take some chicken stalk. I hardly drive anywhere when given the option of public trans. So anyways not meaning to sound all douchy but it just makes me sad.

And then there is the question of our economy and how orges thinks it’s gonan like die or something and how I don’t’ have any savings. I am going to be 26 in a short 2 months here and I literally have not a cent to my name. Sure I have some purses and shoes that have not completely gone down in value, but like really if my family were to die (god forbid) and I were to be left to my true wits I would probably die. I spend my money on liquor and food and shopping and even when I’m “giving up” shopping I’m still spending it on like 8 dollars French soaps and 30 dollar avocado eye creams. I mean SERIOUSLY, I disgust myself.

So anyways next Wednesday marks the beginning of Lent which to most practicing catholics is a time of rethinking our lives. I mean really I think it's about thinking about how things and the world are getting in the way of your relationship to God, but for me God is like…happiness and so I see it more as like, how are the things that I fill my life with getting in the way of my happiness. So anyways being that I am sick all the time and generally feel out of sorts and have all sorts of dreadful allergies, I have decided to embark on a homeopathic detox program for 40 days. So basically I’m gonna get rid of all processed foods, meats (I think. I’m still reading exactly what it entails), wheats and glutens, non natural sugars, and dairy in my diet. To be honest those are all things that i pretty much only eat when i give into my whims or when we have some kind of event at school where we get offered free donuts. this happens more than you might imagine, though. but overall the only thing that really is my one vice of eating is sangwhiches. What I’m left with is water, vegetables, fruit, legumes, and herbs and some vitamin supplements. But supposedly to be healthy you should do this like a few times a year just to get your body working properly. Basically homeopathics believe that all of your health problems come from your colon and the bacteria that do or don’t live in there. And these can cause like allergies and such. Oh I forgot I also have to give up alcohol. I feel like it will just be a time for me to try to heal my body (yes this sounds super new agey, but roll with me here) and like center myself. I also have to add regular exercise to my life which is kind of hard since it’s cold as balls outside but I will continue to swim and occasionally take walks when the weather permits. As far as gyms…that’s not my style so I’m not gonna commit to some gym regime that I can’t stick to because HELLO that is self defeating.

But anyways while researching this diet through some books that my boss gave me I am learning so many things. Like did you know that you shouldn’t drink more than 4 oz of water with meals because it dilutes the acids in your stomach? This totes makes sense since I am a person who gets frequent heartburn and also drinks too much water with their meals. I mean I’m just saying…I want to cleanse my mind body and spirit and all that shit.

So i will tell you all more as the time comes. But on another note, it's really cold. it's like -5 with windchill. i literally thought i was going to die on my walk home last night. and my nose was dripping like a faucet into my scarf and my legs hurt and i had to keep telling myself "one more block, one more block." It may or may not snow so i think the temperature might go up a bit, but it's seriously wretched. just wanted to share that with you all so that you can appreciate your own weather and so that the californians can stop bitching about a week of rain. Imagine 5 months of no sun! yeah, shut up!

So Nice...

So i was just reading about migration of humans and birds and shit when a great song came on my itunes. don't you love when itunes randomly plays a song that you forgot you loved? So anyways it was Astrid Gilberto's "So Nice (Summer Samba)" as reinterpretted by her daughter Bebel. Anyways this song started playing and i was like...god that REALLY would be so nice. Here are the words

Someone to hold me tight
That would be very nice
Someone to love me right
That would be very nice
Someone to understand
Each little dream in me
Someone to take my hand
And be a team with me

So nice, life would be so nice
If one day I'd find
Someone who would take my hand
And samba through life with me

Someone to cling to me
Stay with me right or wrong
Someone to sing to me
Some little samba song
Someone to take my heart
And give his heart to me
Someone who's ready to
Give love a start with me

Oh yeah, that would be so nice
I could see you and me, that would be nice



I started thinking how it's totally like the girl version of the beach boys "wouldn't it be nice." the beach boys one is all about like how they can get married and have sex and sleep together and stuff. But women want someone different. Women want like...someone to sing to them and understand their dreams and someone to just hold them tight. I mean seriously, DON'T you want someone to sing to you, because i do. so i mean i'm just saying, it would be fucking nice, ok.

Chinese egg plant

guys can we talk about chinese egg plant and how it's the best thing ever. seriously, i don't know why we've all been messing around with that american (european maybe?) version all this time. chinese eggplant is so the way to go. And cathy will probably tell me a big fat duh

First off it cooks like zucchini which means it's super fast and not at all rubbery. Bert and I went to the chinese market last night to buy ramen and i just boiled that shit and added some of this eggplant, some long beans, some tofu and some baby bok choy. and the thing is...that if the ramen hadn't been there it would have been a really healthy dish.

Product alert! French Soap!

So after skiing Jen and i were totally craving some hot cakes so we went to this dirty local diner and had the biggest pancakes i have ever seen. And then, maybe it was the endorphines or something but we felt the need to walk around town and go into random shops like this one called Red Shoes. It's this shop that sells random things like soaps and blankets and chintzy type stuff and lotions and oils and all that jazz. And to top it off it's located in a cute little ann Arbor house.
then i discovered what might be the weirdest thing i have ever seen. There was a miniature door like so
So apparently ann arbor has this thing where all throughout Kerrytown (the historical district where i live) people put up these mini doors for the fairies that live in town. I shit you not...waht the fuck. yes, a fucking fairy door! Where do i live??! So anyways I had never noticed them but i guess they are all over town and i'll start looking.

Ok i just spent 10 minutes looking at a website of these fucking fairy doors and they are totally at places that i walk by everyday and how have i missed them! emily, they even have one at the new google office.

oh my goodness i just got so off track that i almost forget the purpose of this post! ok so while at this red shoes store jen and i found this awesome soap called savon de marseilles.
We read the story behind the soap whicih was all about how it's made from olive oil in the town of marseilles and few people make it and it's like ultra moisturizing skin care and HELLO my skin is so dry right now despite lotioning 3 times a day and sometimes rubbing petroleum jelly on my body (yes so gross but basicaly the same ingredient as eczema cream). So anyways it cost 8 dollars but we figured if we split the bar in half it would only cost 4 dollasr which is still totally ridiculous now that i think about it. so anyways we bought the rose scented one and i got home and had this duh moment were i realized that my roommate is actually from marseilles. So i asked him about this soap and he said it's legit and he actually exclusively uses it. Then he asked how much i paid for it and i told him and he said it cost 1.90 euro in his hometown and since he's just such a nice guy liek that he actually gave me an extra bar that he had lying around.

Guys, i really love my french roommate because he does nice things like this for no reason! liek he lets me use his french salt and he bought me a fashion magazine when he went home, and he gave me this bar of soap! And he let's me call him Bert even though it's a bastardization of his name. And he watches crappy shows with me and doesn't judge. And yes, in the end me and my other girl roommate are kind of his maid, but i dont' care because he provides endless amounts of laughter to our house even though we mock him and refer to him as "the french." And all around he's like the bitter french cousin i never had.

so in conclusion...i used the soap and it really IS moisturizing and i am totally having him bring me back like bars and bars of this shit. In fact, i might go visit him this summer and stay in one of his many houses throughout the south of france when i go to visiit my cousin in munich. Oh yeah did i mention he is totally old money french bourgeouse! And he was liek "what are we going to do?" and i was like "um we're gonna shop for beauty products and just hang out." And he was liek "ok, that sounds good." See what i mean!! he totally puts up with my crazy antics and does not judge! Ugh love my roomies! love!

skiis and forests!

Jen and I have started doing this thing where we try to do something fun every saturday morning. by started i mean like...we started this weekend. But we have done this before it's just that it's especially necessary right now when it looks like this outside of my window
and thispretty beautiful huh...like death. So anyways in this kind of weather it's very easy to start to feel bummed out and just go to the movies for like 8 hours and eat tons of popcorn and get fat. So anyways we were gonna go cross country skiing as discussed before but when we woke up it was snowy and dreary so instead we went strip mall shopping. WE hit up the beauty supply store and marshalls and as I was buying a fruit rack i was like "dude fuck this! let's just blaze and go anyway!" so we rented some skiis for 10 dollars at a local store and drove to the arboretum which, no lie, is like 2 miles from my house. I act shocked because i basically live right next to this really cool hilly beautiful river forest. you will see the pics but i'm just saying, who knew i lived so close to "nature."

So first we had to put on our outfits, of course.
despite not looking warm at all i was quite toasty in my performance wear. I had 2 pairs of wool socks, runners tights, with reflectors (as seen) in case we got lost in the middle of nowhere at night and someone flashed a light on us. I had my helix under armour top, another helix looser running top, a fleece, and my REI windwall thin jacket. All topped off with some waterproof gloves and some ear mitts and a hat. For seers guys i cannot believe i own this much good clothes! aren't you shocked? Oh i almost forgot, i had a neck gator on too.

here i am going down a hill that was like, ridiculously small.
Jen in motion
look at all the trees!
doesn't it look like we drove to tahoe or something! but we didn't, we drove down the street!
So basically it's like walking only with skiis so you get farther faster. The only bad thing is you have to take the skiis off to walk like up hills and down big hills and shit. all in all it was a good time and i only fell twice. I'm pretty sore still but i realized it's not from physical exertion but it's more from straining muscles when i'd get really tense as i was about to fall. I think we're gonna try real skiing in 2 weeks. exciting! next week we are gonna go kite flying, photos to come.

Speaking of this weekend (and week) there is so much going on!

1. California democratic election. Go Hilary
2. Lost premier. I really never thought i'd be this excited for a Lost premier but I AM! IN HD!!
3. Ski Lodge party this saturday. I'm tired of having to dress all cute and skimpy and then layer up to go out to parties and clubs. So fuck that. we're throwing a long john/ski lodge party where you can wear all your warmest shit and just come and drink and dance all night.
4. super bowl, which i could give 2 shits about, BUT i'm going to use this as an opportunity to go to Mexican town in Detroit and buy the ingredients for posole, which trusts me looks alot grosser than it actually tastes because it's fucking delicious.

wha happen??

so i just read (and commented) on my friend's blog and like....what is this tax refund thing, guys??? I confess i almost never know what is going on in politics unless it relates to racism, sexism, or educational inequities. I mean, these are my things, ok, so sue me. One can only keep abreast of so many things and with all my celebrity gossip blogs and such, what is a liberal to do? So my question to all of you who are much more knowledgeable than me is...am i getting a $300 tax refund? is this in addition to my other tax refund? do i qualify even though i'm technically "under the poverty line"? isn't it sad how i don't actually feel under the poverty line since liek i travel to thailand and buy expensive things and stuff? Imagine what it would be like to REALLY be under teh poverty line, not just technically. Also if you are out there and had not heard about this tax refund thing please speak up and don't make me feel liek the only ignorant one in the blogsphere.

My friend and I were going to going to go cross country skiing today (I KNOW!) and it was going to be like this
but it's snowing and there is no sun and it "feels like 12 degrees" outside. So like...we may be relegated to being stuck in the house. SUCKY!!

also i saw 27 dresses on Thursday night which was like...seriously guys not that awful!! i kind of liked it even. and they gave her really cute clothes and james marsden has crazy cheak bones and is kind of like waht a grown up "sad boy" from gossip girl would be like. i'm just saying that i think emily and belton and sara would really appreciate it.

the end of the affair...with sangwiches

So i went to an allergist and i got prescribed yet another allergy medicine. This time it's singulair which is for sinus rhinitus or something. The uselessness of many doctor's never ceases to amaze me. Anyways i'm kind of excited to be taking it and hoping for some good results. Anyways despite being poor in every way the university at least gives us pretty awesome insurance and so we can get allergy shots covered. So in 3 weeks i'm having a skin test to see what exactly it is i am allergic to and then possibly starting a 3 year treatment of allergy shots. wooo hoo!! i am not joking. i am legitimately excited about this. The doctor thinks i might have an allergy to flax seed or soy products. hmm. Also i am still waiting on some test results to see if i have a gluten allergy. finding out that i actually have something legitimately wrong with me would be kind of awesome because it would mean that all of my health problems could go away with the simple act of not eating gluten. But then again it would mean i couldn't eat sandwiches...which is like really sucky since i really love sandwiches.

PS all this babbling was basically so i could avoid admitted that i'm kind of disturbed by heath ledger's death like in that way that i'd be disturbed if I were to hear that someone in my freshman dorm had died.

15 year old me was right

guys, so i'm 11 episodes into buffy season 1 and seriously i am quitting. This shit is stupid. Seriously the humanizing aspects of the show (relationships and such) are few and far between and it's really not smart and i'm sorry but it definitely did not stand the test of time. And maybe this is just a season 1 thing but seriously very rarely do i not care what is going to happen on a season finale, but i have one episode left of this show and i could give 2 shits. As i was watching though some stuff seemed really familiar and i remembered that i had watched 1 or 2 episodes when it first started and i remember thinking it was lame and it turns out that 10 years later i agree with myself.

My big beef is that it's that genre of serialized show where each episode is self contained but then answers some overarching theme question. these types of shows tend to bore me like CSI and law and order and shit like that. What is there to make me keep watching on a weekly basis? And i finally realized what show it kind of reminded me of. It reminded me of Veronica Mars in the sense that it has that format but overall V. Mars is like a WAYYYYYY more awesome show and is smart and i actually care what happens to the characters and some of the plots were stupid but it was such an awesome show that i didn't even care! THAT is the mark of a good show. I mean i couldn't even relate to the nerdy Willow, which never happens! i always relate to the nerdy reject girls! And i could make some broad statement about not liking shows that have to do with supernatural things, but that is a lie because i really liked smallville. ugh just whatever. and fuck, i really love the buffy movie.

so in conclusion here is what I have learned about myself.

1. there are buffy people and non-buffy people. I am not a buffy person.
2. I am not as inconsistent as I think myself to be.

**** if someone can convince me of why i should keep watching this show given my above feelings I am open to starting the show up again and giving it a shot. But for now i'm gonna spend my time watching "Rescue Me."

buffy disc 1 reactions

So nothing really exciting has been going on in my life. It's winter which means that we have all become slaves to SAD and our couches. Luckily we have HD which makes it all a bit more bearable. But seriously i live with some very social people and we have all just been spending our last few weekends staying in and channel surfing...sober. I also have been going to bed at like 11 and waking up at 7. kind of sucks but instead of using the morning to be productive i use to to watch all of my dvd's and shows that i have rented for the week. yes, i am efficient.

Today I took one of those days where i get my life in order so i like cleaned and shit. there is nothing more disgusting than realizing how much hair you shed on a regular basis, mainly because it is all over your carpet and it's not liek you can see it with the naked eye but rather you notice it when you get down on your knees to do the floorboards and there it is like black cobwebs all over your cheap carpet. so vacuuming my small room took like an hour cuz i did it all with the detachable suction head so i could assure that the hair was gone. I do this monthly.

I got my new humidifier. woo!! yes i have only used it for 24 hours but i really FEEL like my nose has cleared up. wishful thinking for sure but i will go with it.

two of my roommates turned 30 and 29 respectively this week but as we noted, they are men so it doesnt' really matter how old they get. But all this aging around me made me start feeling young, or like i should embrace my youth and try to hold onto it. so my response to all of these "feelings" was to buy eye cream. I have never been an eye cream person since my facial regime consists of some neutrogena wash, the occasional exfoliating scrub, and ponds facecream twice a day. I figured eye cream can't hurt so i bought some kiehl's avocado eye stuff.

but now for the purpose of my post. So i finished disc one of buffy this morning. Like i said i woke up at 7 so i got that done pretty early. My initial thoughts are like this. I really don't know what to think. It's weird in that time warp way....like when you watch "she's all that" and you are tripped out that you ever found that movie smart or freddie prinze jr. attractive. It's a totally weird time warp to the 90's. The acting is not very good but i feel like they are totally aware of it so on one hand it's kind of ridiculously lame but on the other hand what makes it cool is that it is aware of it's lameness. I mean obviously i will keep watching because i feel like i owe it to society and bloggers and stuff, but i'm not totally sold yet. It's also weird because the whole show is filmed in old town torrance so i am pretty familiar with a lot of the locations. trippy

It reminds me of something that i currently watch but i can't place my finger on it. When it comes to me i will let you know.

Various Clutter

so i've been sick since getting back from Asia and so my sleep schedule has been totally fucked...like for instance i am writing this at 4:30 cuz i woke up to pee and now can't go back to sleep. A few random things i've done and noted this week

30 Rock:
Is kind of an awesome show. Not as awesome as Arrested Development but kind of in that same vein. Who knew?! You all should watch it. It takes a few episodes to get into cuz you'll be like...this is kind of lame but then the characters grow on you and stuff

Netflix:
I rejoined due to the writer's strike. I figured i had some extra cash (and extra time) since i'm not shopping. I guess the point was to save money so maybe it's not that i shop too much but rather that i spend too much money. I am going to start watching Buffy finally after all these years. I'm not really sure why i never got into it considering how i got into like 90% of what was and is on television. But for some reason i just assumed it was gonna be lame and so never watched. I will admit...perhaps i was wrong. The only problem with me watching shows is that i like REALLY watch them....like over a 3 days span i drop everything and intensely watch...case in point, i watched 30 rock's 2 seasons over the past 2 days.

Top This Party:
is an awesome show on lifetime. I'll give you a sample...crazy blonde asian woman yelling at a gay man who can't throw her safari themed yacht party with a fire pit and won't let her drop into her OC backyard from a helicopter. watch it!

Peru:
We're going next december and we're fucking hiking that shit. bam!

The Writer's Strike:
officially sucks! man this is like throwing off my whole life! i can't believe we're losing a year of tv. pay them!! please for the love of God pay them!

Humidifier:
i bought one...i'm really excited. This does not count as shopping since as hugo put it "that has to do with your health." I did some research (googling) and settled on Slant/Fin GF-210 Germ Free Warm Mist Air Humidifier. Why didn't anyone ever tell me that a humidifier might help with my ailing sinuses in this cold dank weather?! I'm super excited...i'll let you know how it works. it's supposed to be a bit high maintenance in that you have to take lots of care of it but a bunch of humidifier geeks said that if you do take care of it is truly bomb.

And finally product alert for all you ladies out there with frizz tissues.

Straight Sexy Hair (Cost about 18 dollars online...20 dollars at Beauty Supply Store)
when i was home during thanksgiving or whenever it was that i got my BANGS! my Tia Irma cut my hair and was like "and check out this new product our salon has started using. it's awesome." And guys...it really is. If you spray this shit right before your hair is done blow drying (preferably with your Bespoke Ionic dyer...it works like crazy well AND it has rhinestones!), use your straightener (let's keep it real, if you don't have a chi then no amount of awesome product is gonna change your hair. I got mine 6 years ago and it was the best investment i have ever made), and then mist it over your hair one more time when you are done. Your hair will look shiny, silky, super striaght without looking all limp and feeling gunky the way so many straightening products can make your hair look. seriously guys, as anyone who has traveled to humid climates with me can attest, my hair is not naturally awesome. It takes a lot of work but let's keep it real when my hair looks good IT LOOKS GOOD! now all of these things cost money...but guys if straightening or drying is something you do on a daily basis than why would you do it with products that are going to damage your hair? We spend so much money on things like make up and face creams and body lotions and high heels and things. why not spread that love to your hair? I have never used their other products but based on this one i would guess that their curly sexy hair and voluminous sexy hair lines are equally awesome.

So i guess that was your consumer alert of the day.

all like zen and shit

guys, peep this shit.


this picture is kind of the story of my life...surrounded by 4 gay men on a remote island in Asia...wearing a headscarf because asia couldn't handle my tourmaline blowdryer and chi. how fucking awesome is this pic. this was taken after ivan and i (mainly ivan) kayaked like 2 miles to this remote beach and then we all jumped in the water and just focussed on the sheer awesomeness of the situation. I will do a full thailand roundup as soon as i get all the photos together and have enough time and energy to do it justice

winter 08 - we blaze to machu pichu!!

Musings from a jet lagged point of view

guys i am wicked jet lagged. like Asia FUCKED ME UP. i have been sleeping non stop and i generally feel like crap like my body is so confused and doesn't know what the fuck is going on. On a bonus note all this sleep has prevented me from eating so it's like...the best diet ever. Also the best diet ever, as discussed by ivan and i in Thailand...Typhoid and Malaria.

I’m having lots of tissues with the whole presidential things. It seems that everyone I know is voting for obama (clearly i only know liberals so this is scewed), which I am ok with but I get a little annoyed when I hear why people are not voting for hillary “I juts don’t like her personality." "i think she's cold." "i don't trust a menopausal woman." "She's not emotional enough." "what emotion she does she is fake." All of this makes me really upset because i don't actually think that she is being judged by the same standard that all the men who are running are being judged by. She truly can't fucking win because everything she does is viewed as being too much and too little and it really pisses me off. I mean basically what it comes down to is she’s a woman and therefore whatever she does will be judged in that way.

And now the whole tearing up thing.

The truth is that if she were to be president and Obama her vice she would fucking regulate this country like no other man has done. And if barrack were vice he would be awesome cuz he could be the face of our country to the world since he’s all charming and shit. But if it were to be the opposite way I don’t think Hillary would be a good vice president. so all in all i think if he doesn't win these primaries she will not be in office and no one will ever know her potential. part of me just wnats to tell people...give someone new a chance. Just because obama is black doesn't mean he's not a man, ie ever other fucking person we have had in power for our entire history.

I mean in a lot of way I think for democrats this is becoming a vote about “character” more than a vote about beliefs. It’s coming down to “who do I like more.” And the truth is people like barrack because he’s charming and they don’t like Hillary because she is, well, not. And people say that a president has to be charming but in all honesty if a woman were to be charming she would be considered silly and flirtatious as opposed to in control. To be in control a woman can't be charming in the same way that a man can be. But if we judge the qualities of a good president by the ones we have had in the past then really we would just be judging them by a male qualities. so any woman who ever runs can never compete in this male character oriented world. They will always fall short.

I'm not asking people to vote for someone just because she has a vagina but i'm saying that we should really look at why we are voting for someone else. i think that if Hillary were to win, anything bad that would happen would be blamed on her being a woman. But if Obama were to win anything bad would be blamed on his character. But as a woman our characters are inextricably tied to our womanhood, and this makes it really hard to get anywhere in a male oriented world.

i'm just real annoyed is all i'm saying because basically this is all some fucking sexist bullshit.

So I just got back into LA/America last night. The flights were long and fairly awful although thanks to china airlines we were fed ridiculous amounts of foods which included rice porridge, various deserts, dim sum, steamed dumplings and other Asian delicacies. Take that stupid north american airlines! So anyways I’m catching up on my celeb gossip (don’t worry, ivan and I heard about Britney as it was happening since it appeared as a news story on aljizeera!!! What the fuck!) but all I keep seeing in the news is “storm watch 2008!” Basically it’s raining in California and people are seriously freaking out. Schwartzenegger is calling it like a disaster zone and it’s just crazy. But I’m looking at images on the news and I’m like..oh this looks like a Tuesday afternoon in ann arbor. Seriously people, chill out! The world is falling apart but leave it to LA local news to focus on Britney and rain. speaking of britney, what a fucking mess.

All my friends seem to be talking about new years resolutions and such and the thing is I was so busy kayaking around islands and frolicking on the beach that I didn’t even think about new years. Nor did I think about the fact that basically when I get back into AA at 6am I will have to jump right into winter quarter. So I think I will take some time today to think about what I want from myself this year.

The one that I have officially decided upon is that I am not shopping this year. I know…I might die. But if I could survive the writer’s strike I am sure that I can survive a year of not shopping. So basically I am only buying what I need and what I need does NOT include a cute new dress to wear on Friday night. I want to pay off my bills and visit my cousin in munich this year and backpack through mexico and generally just spend my live living instead of spending it looking cute. Plus let's be honest, i am a bit disgusted by the amount of clothing that i have. it's disgusting how much shit i have in my room. time to downsize!

So this girl I know got engaged along with everyone in the fucking world. I mean obviously these are not real people that i actually know because these people would not invite me to their weddings but I mean like people that i am in contact with via facebook or office proximity. I mean this is the marrying age, i suppose. Anyways this girl started an engagement/wedding blog like the next day and I just don’t get these things. People like freak out and like day 1 start planning their nuptials. I think of myself as the kind of person who doesn’t care about such poppycock but I also fear that if and when it actually does happen to me I may be THAT kind of person. You know, the kind of person who puts a countdown to my wedding on facebook or the kind of person who makes my facebook pic a couple pic, or the kind of person who “we’s” everybody because I am no longer a “me.” I mean what if I ‘m the kind of person who cooks and cleans for my man and like lives in the suburbs and had babies and drives a mini van! Like what if this is who I am and it just has not be activated yet!