So i just spent the last hour attempting to revamp my my space layout. I really have no idea why i waste so much time on this goddamn website. i absolutely loath it but part of me wants something spunky and reflective of my personality as my background. What says cool yet apathetic? I too can't find anything. Not to mention the fact that all of these editors i tried were not working out the way i had hoped. Anyways if anyone has a suggestion for how to get a cool background image while still having my typed stuff be visible please comment and let me know.
Otherwise onto possibly less intersting but more pressing matters...Namely vegas. Oh vegas. Vegas is like that disease infested whore who keeps calling my name and everytime i go i say i will never go again and yet she traps me in her chlamydic grasp and i just can't control myself. so anyways here was a breakdown of my weekend
Friday
So anyways after a pseudo blow out with my parents regarding my independence, i lost the battle and ended up flying to vegas on an all expense Papi paid trip. The flight there was kind of scary because 30 minutes before we were supposed to land the plane started dropping altitude really quickly and suddenly started getting all shaky and turning in crazy direction and at one point i looked out the window and could see the moon (even though it was still light out) and i thought "is this going to be the last thing i see before i die? Flying does this to me. Ever since i was set to fly out of DC on sept 11th 2001 i have been a wreck on flights. Anyways we landed 5 minute later in a flurry a whole 20 minutes before scheduled. I still think something was really fishy because the attendants were frantically running to their seats liek they didn't think we were gonna make it. Anyways i made it there safe and alive and headed to the strip on a shuttle. of course no one was going to caesar's but everyone was going ot the gross part of the strip: ie excalibur, luxor, mgm grant, etc. Here was a notes that i wrote to myself.
"saw the moon during my landing, scary, lots of unsavery people headed to the golden nugget. not a surprise."
"loud southern woman behind sounds like weeza (sp?) from "steel magnolias." Staying at Flaming O. Sounds like Paula Deen. she is asking her husband what hotel has a pyramid as we are parked in front of the luxor. Apparently she does not notice the GIANT pyramid shaped hotel that we are in front of. "
So i made it to the hotel and the weekend of couply vegas began. vegas was not as ridic as usual but i was still drunk 95% of the time and i ate alot. What was lacking though was the vomitting, the strippers, the steaks, the gambling at 3 am, the listening to "purple rain" on repeat for 3 hours while lying in our underwear, the DS's, my captain's hat, "i salute you". Anyways i was expecting caesar's to be classy, you know some nice tile and maybe a little bit of gold inlay. I mean it is roman so i expected some gold. what we got were mirrors everywhere, a giant hot tub in the center, yes center, of our room. A ceiling mirror with spotlights so that you can see all of your imperfections. All in all though i think Mariah Carey would have termed it "demure." Who am i kidding, it was built to be a den of sin.
David headed out that night to hang with his friends for bachelor related things and i stayed in glad to see that nick at night was running a full house marathon. I gotta say i was shocked to see that i actually found the girls to be kind of, dare i say, cute...i can definitely see how people were enchanted by the olsen twins. good stuff! Even Jodie Sweaten was cute! Uncle joey was still really gross and i never noticed how hot uncle jesse was because i was pre adolescent but that whole "have mercy" bit made a lot more sense now. Anyways i woke up a few hours after passing out to find david stumbling in drunk, talking nonsense and "whispering" but in reality yelling sweet nothings into my ear. He was down 100.
Saturday
We were abruptly woken at 9:30 by the maid knocking on the door. Ok beef, what the fuck is up wiht vegas maids knocking on your door at 9:30 am! this is vegas! It's known for it's nightlife! this made no sense to me! Anyways we got up soon after and headed to paris for some early morning gambling and cocktails. this was the beginning of a theme for this trip: me trying to convince david that it took 30 minute to cross a street in vegas and david trying ot convince me that actually everything was really close. I still stand by my theory that since everything is huge in vegas you don't realize that one block is actually half a mile. Cathy and I found this out the hard way once when we left the boys at a gay club and headed to a hotel that was 3 hotels away. 2 miles later in heels we made it to the burberry coast for 3.99 eggs, bacon, toast, and hashbrowns. sustenance vegas style!
Anyways i digress...I was a little uneasy about drinking at 10:00 am but then after 3 drinks i realized that time doesn't matter in vegas. the morning vegas crows is mainly old asian women, ie cathy in 30 years. It was real interesting. David had made some money so we headed to bellagio for a nice romantic buffet. I was please to see that david is actually a really intense buffeter. Nothing worse then taking somoene to a buffet and seeing that they have no strategy whatsoever and fill up before they can even do a second and third round. poor form, poor form. David on the other hand had to take a 5 minute bathroom break to really think out his "game plan" as he put it. It was the most intense buffetting that i've seen since mr. bob deharo.
many hours later we decided to walk off our excess calories and headed into the forum shops. We talked about all the things that we could nto afford because he is a lowly med student and i am a soon to be lowly grad student. But david decided that when he becomes a world renowned rheumatologist and when i become a world renowned social educational psychologist/professor/consultant/whatever i become he is only dressing in hermes, ferragamo, and zegna, and i am draping myself in louis vuitton, burberry, and st. john. done and done.
We did alot more casual drinking, gambling, shot some craps and lost miserably. I stand by my theory that i am the worst person to gamble with because i have a perpetual auro of bad monetary luck surrounding me. case in point vegas 2006, Cathy lost $600 in 5 minutes with my egging on. It was the most tragic display of addiction mixed with my aforementioned bad luck that has been seen. It was bad. David's losses weren't as bad but they were relatively speaking equally painful. Anyways we went to margaritaville and i was remembering how with my friends we were so drunk we couldn't find margaritaville even though there is a giant sign that says "margaritaville." Anyways we met up with the Belt-one who happened to be in vegas too and attempted to do some clubbing but failed miserably as david and i quickly realized that we are kind of over clubbing. What can i say, i'm not paris hilton. So after a couple "i'm going to the bathroom, cristina"'s which relaly meant "i'm gonna sneak off and play some roulette" we called it a night.
sunday
we went to lunch at a really nice restaurant in the venetian and i decided that although it's not bellagio, the venetian is my favorite hotel. Hell i think it's even better than the real venice, no birds and all. Then we headed to the wedding. here are some key things i have to say about that.
the song the bride walked down the isle to was "wind beneath my wings." Also the wedding was not in a catholic church and i have always felt since childhood that weddings not in catholic churches always seem to be missing something. no lasso to bind the couple for life, no communion to symbolize the sacrament of marriage. it's all very strange to me and david agreed there was something missing. She had a beautiful dress but her shoulder tattoo was showing. guests were wearing cotton skirts and flats...cotton and flats! at a wedding! my abuelita would have rolled over in her grave! during the ceremony i started thinking about what i was going to say to the groom as i danced the dollar dance with him. then the ceremony was over and we headed to the dancehall for food and stuff. they did the first dance and then the father daughter dance and then we ate and something was missing. i discussed it with david and we realized that white peopel don't do the dollar dance. Only people from 3rd world countries do the dollar dance. Other things that white people don't do: take shots of tequila, have mariachi's, have their drunk uncle (usually my father) stand up and sing with said mariachi, have old ladies who dance merengue. It was all and all a big culture shock for the both of us and we decided that blacks and mexicans really make a wedding. I mean have you ever BEEN to a mexican wedding. We rock that shit until like 2am non stop like what! what they did have was a fully stocked open bar, and they played lots of good country music (i know, what?). I of course after a couple of cocktails was immediately drawn to the gay groomsman and the bitter chubby bridesmaid. I really felt bad for her so to make her feel better i played the part of patrick swayze and let her be Baby when they played "i've had the time of my life." she kept yelling "no one puts baby in the corner" and i was reiterating for her sake "no one!!" it was kind of tragic. But i have to say all pride and gloating aside, i looked objectively really good. i mean serioulsy we both looked really good. if david ever downloads the pics from his camera i will post them but serioulsy, best hair day of my life, great dress, great shoes, i sizzled like the "spicy latina" that david claims that i am.
well the wedding ended at about 7 and we headed to the airport to talk over our weekend and relive the good parts. Like how caesar's palace kept playing paula cole "where have all the cowboys gone" and i kept being swept back to being 15 with braces wondering really where HAD all the cowboys gone. Also we decided that after being forced to watch the celine dion "a new day" concert commercial on repeat in the hotel room we would definitely have to see her someday soon. There was all this dancing and costume changes and "my heart will go on" and honestly i think i know more celine music than i care to let on and i didn't even realize i was a fan until i felt this urge in me to tell david how he was my strength when i was weak and my voice when i couldnt' speak. I mean really how can you not be moved by celine. She's not quite a songsmith, but she's up there as far as cheese and awesomeness goes. anyways future goal, pay as much as i have to to see celine before she leaves vegas.
So like i said, this trip was alot more tamed although equally fun, just in a different way.
No comments:
Post a Comment