Puerto Rico!!!!

so the fags and hags are headed to puerto rico in just a little more than 20 days here and i am very excited! I plan on making a minimum of 3 outfit changes a day. I have a few hats, floppy straw and bucket. I also have some shorts of varying lengths, lots of dresses, 3 bikinis, big chanel sunglasses, linen pants, sandals, heels, wedges. SERIOUSLY!!!! So here are 2 pics of 2 dresses i recently bought. I'm very excited.
Yellow! i've been feeling like exploring the world of yellow.

But this next one really excites me
Now i knwo you are thinking "why the hell is she excited about some mexican mumu dress but here is my vision. First off it's a mini one and i have hot legs. Secondly i plan on wearing it as a bathing suit cover up for walking tt and from the beach. are you seeing my vision?? Finally, have you ever owned a mexican peasant dress? I own 2 and i wear them while i'm blowdrying my hair and lounging around my house and they are the most comfortable things ever so i suggest you buy one stat so you can see what i'm talking about.

Today i saw a girl wearing biker shorts. Seriously, what the hell is that about.

velour rompers

so last night cathy told me she was ordering this online
I was really excited because while i actually look terrrrrrible in jumpers (i'm not sure but i imagine mainly because i look bad in strapless things) i LOVE the idea of a velour romper suit. And mainly it's because of these pictures from my mom circa 1981

click on the pictures to see them close up and note that on one trip she had the romper in 2 colors. She was 30 in these pictures. for reals! perhaps there is hope for fabulousness with age.

today i got a locker at the library and this was seriously the highlight of my week. who am i?

confession # 42343343

there are some moments of living alonedome that are truly fantastic. one such moment is coming home from a night out wiht friends, completely trashed, and eating trader joes microwave jaipur vegetables and cous cous alone on your couch while watching sarah jessica parker on oprah, tivoed. few things can top this. one thing that possibly is better...popping in your sex and the city dvd and watching someone whose love life is more fucked up than yours.

*****BTdubbs, need to buy more sex and the city, stat.

*****Dubbs dubbs, whoever has my SAC season 3 disc 3 please give it back. it sucks to be left hanging.

so what i'm saying it, despite all of my bitching, there are moments that i would not trade.

TV finales, musings

god this week has been some great television. tragic at times, disappointing even, and yet somehow oddly hopeful, but overall leaving me feeling very strained emotionally like it all somehow applied to my life or something. Or maybe i just want my lame life to work out the way that fiction does, but really i kind of just want the soundtrack.

gilmore girls ended like for reals and the final episode ever really sucked. it felt incomplete, but worse it made me feel like i was not being respected as a viewer for all of the work i put into it. I feel sometimes like i have these fucked up relationships with my shows. I care about teh characters, i relate to them sometimes, and the shows i can't relate to i keep watching and they become like these terrible disfunctional boyfriends that i just can't let go of because i keep saying "they'll change! they'll get better!! i just have to give them time! Sweeps is coming up!" This was how i felt about studio 60 and many many others shows that i decided to purge earlier this year. But anyways so gilmore girls ended and after six (maybe seven?) fucking years of sexual tension all we get is a kiss? what the hell. That is bull shit, but i guess it's a little hopeful. I found out veronica mars got cancelled with one episode left. this is truly tragic, and i say that in a completely overly dramatic way. But really do i need another incomplete ending in my life dangling there with no closure? I still do wonder what would have happened to Angela Chase. But these shows are like artists, never respected in their time, because if they had been they would have inevitably come to produce really lame seasons like felicity season 3 and dawsons creek seasons 4 through the final episode and lost season 2 and beginning of season 3. Maybe they need to end so i can remain hopeful or longing or something.

the office ended today. so so good. the moments we (and by we i mean me and my invisible readers) discussed earlier this week happened. pam beginning to shed a little tear of hope. i shed with her. Grey's anatomy, despite being overly dramatic at times with the musing music and such, touched me quite deeply this week. All this talk about committment and choosing and being left behind really...just...ummmph.

i don't knwo if i believe in love anymore, real or fictional. i mean i kind of hope that i do but i dont' know if i do. it all seems liek my shows that get cancelled leaving me feeling like something's missing (stupid john mayer song). and i know that comparing my ideas and experiences with love to cancelled teen dramas seems trite but i am all about the analogies because my goal in life is to seek to understand and be understood and all that shit so i feel liek this analogy fits. but anyways to relate to another vagina icon i feel like i'm having a carrie bradshaw moment when i ponder, how do you get men to commit? like how do women get men to marry them and shit? it kind of boggles my mind because who wants to spend their life wiht someone that has so many flaws, male and female alike? (tv has lots of weddings that is where all this is coming from). it's one of those things that i can't make sense of. I do kind of subscribe to that whole "taxi light" timing theory because it feels alot better than saying they just didin't love you as much as the person they choose ultimately to commit to. But then again the taxi light theory takes it to a whole new level of "seriously? what the fuck! that is retarded!" which brings me back to the whole "really awesome shows cancelled before their due time" analogy.

this is a little bit off topic but there is this patty loveless song that is relaly awesome called "you don't even know who i am." Casey introduced me to it and have been hooked ever since. So it's this woman leaving her husband and the omniscient narrator is talkign about how the woman left the car and dropped off her kids and left the keys and her wedding ring where would notice it. and then she leaves a note next to the grocery list and it says

You don't even know who I am
You left me a long time ago
You don't even know who I am
so what do you care if I go

And then her husband comes home and sees all this stuff and he starts to think about it and then he sits and ponders and finally decides to call her. And you the listener thinks that he's finally going to tell her how much he appreciated her and stuff. But no, instead he says

He left the ring on the pillow
He left the clothes on the floor
And he called her to say he was sorry
But he couldnt remember what for
So he said Ive been doing some thinking
Ive been thinking that maybe youre right
I go to work every morning
And I come home to you every night

And you dont even know who I am
You left me a long time ago
You dont even know who I am
So what do I care if you go
You dont even know who I am
So what do I care if you go

So i'm not really sure what the point of that was but it's a really good song! And i come from a really good happy family so i'm not quite sure when i got so jaded and pessimistic about love. blame it on the shows and movies. And they just make peopel break up for the sake of ratings and cliffhangers so i'm not really sure why i even pay attention.

guilty pleasures: i get so eeeeeemotional baby

so i was reading emily's blog and she linked to some other entertainment blog, i think entertainment weekly. anyways they had a segment talking about guilty pleasures and in one they talked about tv show episodes that made them guiltily (or perhaps not so guiltily) bawl their eyes out. And we've all been there, tv watchers or not, where we are watchign something, a hallmark commercial, 2 lovers breaking up on our favorite teen drama. And something about it feels very real and as moana on the bachelor said "it rocked me to my core!" so i decided to dedicate this post to such moments in tv watching history. There are many that i have forgotten, namely scenes from Felicity, so i expect you the readers (tory) to fill in your most painful tv scenes.

ER, circa season one. A red headed woman comes in with her husband and they are so excited about having their first child and then somehow in all the mix she ends up having eclampsia and dies and Dr. Greene wants to comfort the husband but he's so sad he's just like "no no!! you said she'd be ok!" and then he slams the door on Dr. Greene. Dude i think that was the first time i bawled while watchign television.

Dawson's Creek promicide episode. Joey asks Pacey to dance and they do. He mentions her mother's bracelet and she's like "i can't believe you remember that" and he kind of leans into her and very painfully whispers "i remember everything" and the piano plays in the background and he kind of leans into her, breathes in her neck, caresses her back and oooooooh one of the few moments in television where i feel it not in my eyes but in my heart. and i always imagined that my breakups would be this romantic but they weren't. le sigh

Veronica Mars when she goes to confront Logan to tell him that he was the one that raped her and i think she's trying to figure out why he is so grossed out that he had sex with her because like every girl she's trying to figure out what's so wrong with her and hello, they used to love each other! and finally logan breaks down crying and is like "i'm your brother!!!" and sweet baby jesus again my heart felt it before my eyes did. You all need to watch this show like right now. It's the only thing on tv that can make my heart flutter but also drop into my stomach. moments, people, moments!

the Sex and the City episode when charlotte tells them all "maybe we could be each other's soul mates?" The "moonriver" episode when big leaves her the record for when she gets lonely and the plane ticket "for when i get lonely." The series finale, need i say more.

The OC season 1 finale when they are at Julie and Caleb's wedding and Ryan and Marissa dance but they know this is their last dance because he is moving back to chino and then in the background Jem is singing "maybe i'm amazed at the way you love me all the time. Maybe i'm afraid of the way of love you" or whatever and oooooh.

Dawson's Creek series finale when Jen is making her dying last words to her daughter and sand sarah mclauglan "angel" is playing. "i thought i would give you a little list of the things that i wish for you...i want you to spend a lot of time at the ocean because the ocean makes you dream and i insist that you, my girl be a dreamer. God. I've never really believed in God. In fact i've spent alot of time and energy trying to disprove that God exists. But i hope that you believe in God because the thing that i've come to realize is that it just doesn't matter if God exists or not. the important thing is that you believe in something." truth!!

My so called life, i could be mixing up my episodes but I think this all might have been the same one. So Angela just caught her dad was cheating on her mom and she runs home crying because i think she also made a fool of herself at a party wiht the guy she likes. And "Everybody hurts" is playing in the background and she runs to her mom and cries in her arms and it's like she's a child again but also for the first time she has sympathy for her mom cuz she knows the truth.

last 6 minutes of Six Feet Under series finale. Holy shit it's worth watch the 3 crappy seasons before it just to get to this episode.

Grey's Anatomy (yes lame but still has it's moments). The episode in season 2 when the girl and the guy have a pole stuck in them and the girl has to sacrifice herself to save the man. The whole scene of her sacrifice if very sad but i think i really broke down at the end when her fiance Danny comes into the hospital and asks Derek what she said before she died. and he says "she asked me to tell you...she wanted you to know...that if love were enough she'd still be here with you." seriously people! Seriously! and then Later Derek is in the elevator with Bailey and starts breaking down and she very calmly without looking at him pulls the alarm to stop the elevator. He cries and then she's like "are you ok" and he composes himself and she starts the elevator again. ahhh

Alias season 1 and 2, every episode. but especially the first one where danny, her fiance dies. and then anytime she goes to see vaughn and cries and he's super supportive. damn you michael vartan!!!

Felicity, everything that sally said made me cry. I think i'll watch this week and update you guys on the moments of this show

and finally a very recent scene i watched like 2 weeks ago on Gilmore Girls. This show gets so much crap from non viewers but so much love from anyone who has given it a shot. Seriousy it's REALLY good. So ok, Lorelai gets really drunk at the town's karaoke night and she wants to sing a song to her graduating daughter. So she gets up and sings "i will always love you" the dolly parton version which is suprrisingly way more awesome than the Whitney version. Anyways it's all very beautiful because it makes sense in the context of her singing to her child who is leaving home, but then...then, her ex, Luke, walks into the bar right during "bittersweet memories" and i swear to god she looks like she might falter but that bitch keeps on singing. But this time it's not for her daughter but for the love she lost, the man she will always love. it especially kills me when she sings "we both know i'm not what you need" because she cheated on him so it's true!! and i mean...ugh just watch

things

i'm watchign this movie "nine lives." it's pretty good. it's these 9 vignette's about 9 different women whose lives are a little fucked up and who fuck up their lives a little bit. And in the end, as with all movies that are written by latinos, they are all interconnected in some strange, unexpected way because aren't all all interconnected? anyways it got me thinking sometimes how life is just really sad. And sometimes it's directly sad and sometimes it's indirectly sad when we witness the sadness of others. And even if we are happy, seeing someone else's sadness can bring us down but also make us really appreciative of our happiness. One time orges told me "i found this book called the prophet while in prague! it's so amazing." and i said that i knew it and had read it because my mom read it to me. Anyways he quoted it to me

you're joy is your sorrow unmasked

this movie got me thinking about that. you can't have one without the other because they mutually constitute each other. Sometimes life is really awesome, and we are reminded of how wonderful it is because of the bad times we've had. And sometimes life is shit, and the shittiness becomes apparent when we compare it to the good times.

you're joy is your sorrow unmasked

...

things i kind of love

do you ever see people that you know that are sort of awkward but not to the point where it's hopeless, and you just want to give them a makeover? i just ran into my stats TA who is just such a character. He was wearing a very dreary colored pair of tapered jean that were also loose fitting. it kind of amazes me that such jeans are made let alone that people still by them. And i'm sure that the only reason levis continues to make these is because to some people this is their favorite cutot buy, mainly because thye don't know any better. I have this belief that the clothing industry should take a stance and just stop making these offenses to fashion. They should say "look old man in oklahama/unfashionable commoner/dorky grad student, we know these jeans are your favorite cut but they are a crime to fashion and thusly we shall stop making them forcing you to buy only normal bootcut jeans" or something liek that. Anyways he was wearing these jeans, some rugged useful shoes and a army green t shirt. And i imaged that with normal jeans, or even maybe some high end seven jeans, and perhaps a bitter fitting version of that t shirt from american apparel, he would have looked quite normal if not attractive. I see people like this all the time. Young girls wearing high wasted jeans and ecco old lady sandals. and i think...she has a nice body under all that stuff, all she needs are some tighter better fitting jeans, a properly fitting shirt and some cute flats or even more simply some converse all stars. it just makes me sad. This kind of just plays into my whole attitude toward life and the world. I see so much potential and htat is how i keep the constant disappointment from bringing me down.

Today i was reading mcsweeney's thinking to myself (and to emily on gchat) "i could be friends with these people." this is the same thought i have when i read go fug yourself or sandra cisneros books or john mayer's blog or other things by people i respect and kind of like. And granted it seems silly to say that things you willingly choose to read would suprisingly be likeable to you since if you are choosing to read them it is probably because they are reflecting your views. But still, i think in anohter life i could have been a writer. true story. my editor would have hated me and said "use spell check before you send this shit to me!" but still! ugh! there is a part of me (the fat, unpopular, high schooler) who thinks that i could be so much a cooler person if i just had some artistic venue for expressing myself. but most importnatly an art that people would read and say "wow that is EXACTLY how i feel" because isn't that what art is? so somehow this all led me conclude that this summer i'm going to become more cultured. I went to the public library to rent videos. Yes i live in a crazy version of the cultured world where i think videos equal culture. I guess what i meant by culture was that i'm going to become more cultured in things related to modern media...or something. So anyways i downloaded a bunch of indie music and bossa nova/jazz the other day and i'm going to listen to it while i do pretentious things like reading the new yorker. Maybe i'll even read more books.

So this is off topic but because i've been reading lots of magazines and today mcsweeney's i have decided to start a new segment called "things that i kind of really love." Perhaps this will be followed with "things that should die" on days when the spirit so moves me. so here it is in it's full glory

THING I KIND OF REALLY LOVE w/o 4/29/07
Spring - i really had no idea to invigorating glory of spring. purple, white and pink trees blooming everywhere! tulips! daffodils! like for reals! I'm not sure if spring is objectively as awesome as i think it is or if it's just that i've been cooped up for 6 months (what feels like 8 bagillion years) in the never ending midwestern winter. Whatever it may be i suggest you go outside, stare at the buds popping out from the tree outside of your house and appreccccccceate.

taking a day to organize your music/add labels/make playlists - there is nothing more cathartic than taking a few hours to compile the perfect "unrequited love mix." i mean really sometimes you feel sad and you want a soundtrack to your life to reflect these things. thus i recommend taking a few hours this weekend to create the soundtrack to your life.

Feist - along this same note i discovered some really good music while cleaning out my itunes. liek feist. she is totes awesome. you know how when you listen to some of the indie pop music out there right now there is always that girl with the sirenesque voice singing in teh background who has no name because a true artist takes no credit for their art? she is that girl. Might i recommend the "monarch" album if you are feeling a little down, and the newer album if you feel poppy.

farmer's markets - i usually criticize people who go to farmer's markets because it seems liek something a majority of people do just to be like "oh i went to the farmer's market" like that somehow makes them epicurean or takes them up a notch in the intellectual scale. No, you are still stupid even if you buy organic vegetables! But now i live in a small town about a block from the local farmer's market, and about an hour from many many farms so this shit is really fresh. And the people who go are real locals, not transposed city folks. And it is very unpretentious. last week i bought a sugar free raspberry muffin, sugar free apple butter and some apples. tomorrow i'm going to wake up early, take my reusable grocery bag and walk that long block to buy buy spring mixed baby greens and asparagus, which the foodnetwork tells me is in season.

Ina Gartner aka The barefoot contessa - what a charming, lovely woman, alwyas trying to please that insatiable jeffrey by tempting his pallet. I love this woman. I don't necessarily want to cook her food but i want to go to a dinner party that she throws. And let me tell you, this woman is the definition of hag. All of her friends are faggggulous gay men who do the tablescapes for her social events. as she would say "who doesn't love that?" Ina is like the mother i never had. She has no self control when it comes to eating things that are clealry bad for you, very un-my mother. Also she makes that horrid paula deen look like the white trash that she is.

charmin moist wipes - I have tried other brands and these are by far the best. As with all charmin products, you pay for what you get. And if you've never tries a moist wipe and you are totally grossed out that we are even having this conversation, like serioulsy TMI! i suggest you run out to your local target and make that purchase. Try it and tell me it's not the one thing that's been missing in your life.

leave comments (which i know you won't but i say it anyway) with things that you love

EDIT

pictures from previous entry on mini dress added and fixed

my life as a townie

well today i woke up with a new sense of life or rebirth or something. i'm not sure but i felt liek doign something with my day. I decided to be a townie and do thigns like

- go to the farmer's market
- sit in a cafe and blog (mainly because i havent' done so in a whiel because my internet at hoem is really shitty and keeps kicking us off every 5 minutes which makes uploading pics a bitch)
- taking pictures of flowers in bloom and shit like that

so i woke up and took a gander into my closet. I have too much clothes...
i contemplated wearing my new dress that i'm going to wear with a belt. trust me it looks better in person. but then i remembered that it's rainy outside so i opted for some skinny jeans and rain boots.
dubbs dubbs look at my cool new red patent leather flats i will be sporting come real spring. All the boys keep making fun of me saying things like "so did you get those on your way to see the wizard." and things like that. Little do they know that i went as dorothy for halloween once adn i had shoes liek these only my mom spent all night gluing glitter on them. they were awesome.
i walked outside to see NATURE IN BLOOM!! Flowers in birth and stuff. it is quite amazing this whole spring thing. We never see it in LA because when things die we just replant them. but believe me when i say, there is nothing like seasons. There is also nothing like living in 80 degree weather everyday.
i was very excited about buying some fruit at teh farmer's market since i usually never wake up early enough to go
um...apparenlty teh farmer's market doesn't reopen until next week. mother fucker. perhaps i will go tomorrow when i'ts supposed to be open. things that are important, knowing when things are opened and closed
i was kind of peeve but nothing was going to stop me from getting a steamed bun at my local "asian" bakery. I use teh term asian very losely as this is ann arbor

nature!!!!
a dreary april day in Annie
eastern accents!! a journy to the orient!! doesn't it just make you feel liek you are sitting in a tea garden in japan. Only japan is full of white people and there are no flowers just brick walls. totes authentic
so a curry beef bun, some bi bim bop sauce, coffee, and free wifi. this truly is the life of a townie.
3 posts later it's late and i have to get back to go to work. thus ends my day as a townie. it was good times and quite relaxing.

Chicago

Soo this is late but 2 weeks ago maybe 3 now, i went to chicago. what a truly fabulous town. True story! It was like New York (well what i imagine of new york since i have yet to go) and San Francisco combined!! No mean people, no hills, no chinese. god it was so awesome. I stayed with Orges who fed me and gave me drink and rubbed my feet when they cramped up due to my leg edema...I had not 1 but 2 breakdowns during shopping because it was just too much. eeemagine! shopping causing mental and physical overload! eeeeemagine!!

My first stop was the flagship macy's. there are only 3 in the fucking world so when you have an opportunity to see one you go. Now i consider myself a seasoned shopper and very little impresses me but this...this was just...ok so here was one side of the macy's

here was another. it was so grand that i started to have heart palpitations. I tried to find teh bathin suit section and then i tried to look at jeans and then finally i hit the shoe section and i wa slike..."I can't do this!!!" and i walked out. too much. Oh wiat i just remembered i actually bought a bikini. So typical of me in the midst of my panic to still be able to try on clothing and make purchases. it's super cute and i look pretty good in it to, if i don't say so myself. Although apparently my boobs have shrunk which is a sad sad thing.
thank god Orges came and picked me up with a welcoming "hey baby!"
then we made our way to the modern art museum because we are like, cultured and shit. Before making it there we stopped at the American Girl Place!! ahhhh josefina here i come!!! The san Francisco show room is waaaaay better. here I am, an american girl!
the sears tower. shit really is tall here.

So orges and I went to the Modern Art Museum and saw this exhibit by this guy, i can't remember his name, but it was really good. He did stuff like have a carpet on a wall that you could touch and mold to show the fragility of art. But then he also had one room that was just carpet on the floor to show that art is very contextual and if you do the same thing in a different context it's no longer considered art and why is that? i mean it wasn't that deep but we made it that deep. I swear our convo would have been a scene from a movie about the best first date ever. they guy also had this exhibit which was the whole entrance of the museum covered in foam covered in foil And then you as the visiter/viewer/artist could participate and write, carve, whatever you want on the wall to show how art is constantly changing!! i know!! So anyways we didn't write anything because we preferred to be just viewers .

see this is orges...viewingpeople wrote very emo things like this. "i wish i was as invisible as you make me feel." Deep, not!
to things like this. "i'm too short to write something up there" to whcih someone responded "i feel your pain." I felt it too.
and then there was apparently a big hilary duff fan cuz these pink papers were everywhere. ironic much! And yet trying a little too hard to be ironic thus losing it's irony thus becoming ultimately IRONIC!!
Then we went to the top of the hancock tower for martinis and deep convo about nothing and everything. Then i was drunk and wanted to take a picture in front of a bar outside of orges's house called teh "tin lizzy." get it, get it!! the Tin Lizzy!! Too bad it was too dark to actually see the sign. look real close
So there was a jewler right next to the tin lizzy and in the darkness i thought i saw "stevie nicks jewlers." This seemed plausible and quite probably that you'd have teh stevie nicks jewler right next to the tin lizzy bar. So i got very excited. Again look really hard you can see me swinging drunkenly in front of stevie nicks jewler!!
in the daylight i realized it was in fact Steve Quick jewler. soooo not as cool.
so then i did some more shopping on Michigan ave, note the fog covering the top of what must be a giant building
the weather was totally cray cray. i'm talking like 40 mile an hour winds with rain AND ice. it was all coming at you horizontally instead of falling vertically and it hurts. my face had red spots after. I hit up the nordstrom and the bloomies and many other stores but then my legs gave out and orges had to rub my cramped up feet. I think that wearing heels is fucking up my feet which makes me kidn of sad. Liek what if i have to start wearing orthopedic shoes because my feet are all cramped?????

Orges playing guitar hero at best buy
me and teh city scape...and the world's biggest faching. vagina power!! Also known as teh building the little girl climbs down in "adventures in babysitting."
the married with children fountain! only turned off because otherwise the water would freeze
me and teh world's most giant faching. I am acting out being teh pilot of my own pussy. Ivan, Cathy, you know the motion i'm making. This takes the term "gaping" to a whole knew level.
orges doing very dirty things with the world's most giant faching
somethign called "the bean." it's a big silver ball and when you look at it you can see the whole city scape from it, or something. basically it looked like the flight of the navigator space ship in the middle of a chicago park. I wondered if this was where Elsa Peretti got her inspiration for the Tiffany Bean of if the bean got it's inspiration from Tiffany's. I shall wiki...apparenlty it has nothing to do with tiffany's or elsa peretti
our reflection from "the bean"
my minds eye, also known as my inner faching
so all in all chicago was very good times. Good people, good food, good city. i love it and cant' wait to go back. and i leave you with this. A lesser known fact about chicago, they love puns.

the weiners circle, a hot dog/ burger stand. get it!! get it!! it's like a PUN!!
my favorite pun of all though, tie me up noodles. Apparenlty they made a mistake and meant to call it "thai me up noodles" which would have been much more punny. Plus the menu on the inside said "thai me up" so clearly they were having identity issues.

White people can't dance

so a few weeks ago we got invited to a party in someone's loft above a bar. This all seems liek a very cool way to live life. Hanging out in your overpriced loft apartment, and then popping down to the local pub for a cocktail or a micro brew...and then you realize...oh wait 'im paying 1000 to live in a loft in ANN ARBOR!! HELLO!! this place is not cool and living in a loft does not suddenly make it so. Anyways it was this very wierd party full of hipsters, lots of superfluous belts, lots of bangs and funky glasses, plastic pearls, you know the type. It reminded me alot of parties in san francisco only the people were way less cool. So anyways it was these people and then the sea of ethnic people (liek 7 of us but still) that all stormed in together. Needless to say we stuck out mainly because or our aZian constituents. Well they didn't have enough liquor and all they did have was like wine, ugh. hello it's a party! get some fucking vodka! So we left but not before witnesses one of the most horible things known to latinos and blacks alike...white people dancing. Granted this video also contains a very goofy asian man dancing but they were like barefoot hippies jumping and "feeling" the music and it reminded me of a party at Columbae or something. bad times, bad times. so of course i took video for your viewing pleasure



This second video was a very funny, shameless guy at Kebbyn's party.


you are oddly attracted to him aren't you. oddly oddly attracted

farewell BBQ's, mini dresses, and brown people

i am back from my hiatus! and by hiatus i mean school! school is officially over. now i just have to write my masters thesis, which all seems fairly simple considering. Ok but also i have been sparse on the entries because our internet at home is super shitty and disconnects every 5 minutes making it really hard to upload pictures and what not. So today i decided to take a break from my food network watching llistlessness to come to a mother fucking cafe and do some hardcore updatage. So let's go back a week....to last Friday when i really was officially done with school and i wanted to drink.

Much has happened. for one the weather has been super magical, Not nice, not sunny, but MAGICAL! likefor reals 74 degrees. What amazes me even more about this though is the fact that I lived in weather like this for 90% of my life and never noticed. And now here i am frolicking, getting excited about wearing flip flops, willingly shaving my legs. It's crazy times here. I remember as a kid i hated being barefoot or exposing my feet in anyway. Remember seeing those kids running around in their sprinklers in bathing suits on their front lawn barefoot? yeah this was not me. I was the kid sitting in my room with pijama pants and socks judging them from my window. Vacations to tropical locations were kind of a bitch because of this refusal to wear sandals so i'd always request to wear keds which would inevitably give me blisters. I know, my life is really hard sometimes...le sigh

Anyways onto the BBQ. I'm sad to say that a key member of my crew/our token black friend, kebbyne is transferring to Columbia and will be leaving us here in a few weeks. Tre sad indeed! So to celebrate Kebbyn had a bbq pot luck. the theme was "multiculturalism/foods from around the world/diversity/third world/diversity." I made rice and beans and the singaporeans made curry. i don't really know what look Kdawg was going for but he wore thisthis may have been one ofthe more unflattering outfits i have ever seen him wear, and this is a man who is known for his "bill cosby sweaters" that he purchases at the goodwill unironically. He asked me how i felt about socks and shorts and i just shook my head because really what do you say this hot mess standing before you.

I call this picture "foreshadowing of regret." This is me on 5 different cold medicines looking at my drink saying to myself "why???" Before taking this drink i was worried that i might pas out so i made sure to tell everyone i was with that night all the medicaiton i was on that way if the paramedic said "what is she on" they would let him know. Sidebar, does my hair not fabulously shiny! It's my new ionic hairdryer my mom bought me for my birthday. it cuts my blowdry time by 15 minutes! 15 minutes!! that is cray cray. Anyways i curled over the blowdry and added some frizzease finishing creme and voule (sp?)
this picture is called "fernando as a professor." This would be what the overly educated world terms their "dean's picture." for all you less edumacated folk, the deans picture is the picture that is up on the wall in the department where you work. These pictures tend to look like the photographed think themselves highly intelligent and pompous. The Education of a Mexican
This next picture i point out for several reasons
1) my dress is really cool. where the picture ends is about where my dress ended. I am a little bit excited about fashion these days since it's all mini dresses and i am short so i can wear mini dresses and not look ridiculous and because my legs are FAAAAAABulous!
2) isn't it crazy how i'm friends with so many aZians? like direct imports from azia too. craycray
3) whoever took this picture was clearly drunk. look how much ceiling there is.

then a few days later, or maybe earlier, i'm not sure, the latino psych students had a fiesta! no stop, i hate that word. we had a dinner where we all cooked lots of good Mexican and dominican food and it was bomb! and we talked about white people and how triffling they are some times and how there are 6 of us in a department of 200, what what!!

so a few things...the second girl on the left is a white wife of a member and note how all the brown peoepl are the color as her. don't tell me race isn't socially constructed! hola! also note that we are a very small people. I am the shortest bu tnot by that much. That people said it's a little disconcerting to see how short you are relative to other people.

this shot is called "i would rather die on my feet than continue living on my knees!" No JK, i got a little Xicana there for a second. My bad
we decided that we are going to turn this pic into black and white shadows and put it on a t shirt and on the back it will say "pocos pero locos" (few but crazy). true story.

"pilot your pussy!"

yes that title was a bit graphic but please please watch these videos and you will understand. yes this is for reals. Her name is Alexyss K. Tylor and she has a public access show in atlanta called Vagina Power which she co hosts with her mother. The basic concept is that she wants to help women harness their pussy power so that they can be in control over men's penis power. It is kind of ridiculous and ivan and i both died separately many times over. they are long but trust me, thye are worth it. And this especially goes out to those female friends of mine who don't know how to exxxcape dickmatization. for reals for reals! I especially love the part where she says "he caynt even take you to no long john silver's for a fish platter! that's like 2.99!! he won't even pay 2.99 for no long john silver's so why you givin in to the penis power! pilot your pussy!"



in this second clip she has dressed up for halloween as a pilot, the pilot of her own pussy

chicago!!! preview

mini update:
i went to a conference in chicago this past week. chicago is truly faaaaaaabuuuloouuus (said in high pitched voice). The shopping is comperable to south coast plaza i'd say. The macy's was a bit OOC. Like i walked in, started to have a panic attack after 10 minutes and had to leave. it was for reals that big, it overwhelmed me. Finally i was able to enter a nordstrom, thank you jesus. purchases include a black linen short sleeve jacket thing (tre cute), red patten leather flats (i know), and skinny skinny have to peel off my body tight Paige jeans. They were all impulse purchases but i've been so good about budgeting and i still have like most of my alcohol budget left over at the end of the semester so i felt liek it was ok. Orges and i had such good times. We went to the top of the hancock building for cocktails, he gave me foot rubs, we listened to wierd 60's czech music, went to the modern art museum and were truly moved (if we were not friends it would have been teh best first date ever. Like it might have been a scene featured in teh film "before sunrise"). Ah such glorious times. many many pics to come including artistic shots of us at "the bean" and making foul gestures in front of the world's biggest faching. You don't know until you know it.

chicago = my favorite city in america so far. NY, to come in the next few weeks.

i'm done with my first year on friday, fuck me. So 2 more big papers and possibly a problem set and that will be it. moment of silence.

dubs dubs, i bought a bikini in chicago and it didnt' look awful. This may be the first time in my life this has happened. Things i have discovered about myself. I do not look good in string bikinis and triangle tops. that is all.

bitter

Just spoke with ivan. As it were our friends are not getting married for another 2 years. This sparks a conversation about how being the drunk 27/28 year old singletons at your friend's wedding is much more wretched than being the drunk 25/26 year old singletons. ivan suggests, ney, adamately points out that I should make it a goal to be engaged by then so i can have something to show for myself, because being drunk, beligerent and engaged at your friend's wedding is much better than being just drunk and beligerant. truth! But i am not yet ready to make a committment to this "goal." no no, i am definitely not there. No no instead i shall put my energies toward shopping for summer clothes when i go to chicago this week. fuck you married people! i bet you don't get to be single and fabulous travelling to various cities for educational conferences and then using your meager stipend to pay for fabulous clothing that you can wear in puerto rico with your gay friends! god i'm really excited to wear busines casual this week.

snow in april....pretty standard in AA

Well they say that "april showers bring may flowers" and i never quite understood that saying because it doesn't really rain in LA. But apparenlty in michigan by "april showers" they mean "april snow storms." yes, it is snowing again. 3 days of 60 degree weather and i was sold on the possibility of spring. Even the daffodils and tulips started to bloom only to be killed the next day with snow and frost. mother fucker. according to the weather it feels liek 13 degrees. It is fucking april!! what the fuck! my papi always says that pain builds character and you shoudl take it and let it harden you. well i'm hardened. And i'm ready for some fucking spring becuase this weather is so very not cute. only 4 more years! woo!! ok it's time for me to drink.

the cheese love story (cont)...

an addition to the previous post about tory's cheese love story. She added thsi whilst i was gone so i shall share it with you. i got a fucking huge kick out of this as i hope you will too

Victoria: and my film shall be called "runaway cow"

you forgot to mention that he will be european

and maybe a little reluctant to admit how good my cheese is

and there can be cheesy shots of our packages of foodstuffs flying with dotted lines across the atlantic

with voice overs of our letters

and maybe we'll get in a cute little fight

about whether idiazabel or manchego is better with membrillo

and just as i'm reading the email where he says "manchego!"

there will be a knock on the door

and he'll be there with a huge wheel of it

and will say "there just wasn't any other way to prove it to you"

but he will also be talking about our love

(which I will totally pick up on)

Victoria: but he'll still play a little aloof and then as we're making paninis maybe i'll burn my finger and we will kiss and have a billion babies to harvest our cheese

but they'll all be really independent from growing up on a farm part of the time in the states and part of the time in europe, so they won't really need me to supervise them

and my skin will be leathery and toned from all the working in the fields and churning so i won't get a uteran bulge

and we will live happily ever after

orangette

i just heard the most lovely story. It all started when tory and i were discussing how to make Quinoa. I bought some at TJ's the other day as an attempt to get back to my mayan/inca/aztec roots or whatever. dude this shit is the BOMB! seriously the consistency is relaly good and it's basically what cous cous is to pasta, quinoa is to rice. So anyways it was good which got us talking about how tory really wants to abandon her life as a new york hipster to take a cheesemaking internship at which poitn she will learn how to make cheese and earn the title of "cheesemonger." Very exciting stuff!! But in the end it seems that cheesemongering doesn't really give you many options so we opted for another story. She is just going to learn all about different cheeses and impress people at cocktai lparties. And someday when she is old and rich she will buy a farm and have a fromagerie. But in my version of the story she will be some old well travelled woman who lets the wind carry her. and she spends time on this farm that is covered with wierd ecclectic art made by her wierd hippie art commune friends. And she wears nothing but mexican dresses when she's on the farm and perhaps even walks around barefoot, which could be dangerous with the hay. Anyways she makes cheese and starts a website and then a man emails her and says that he loves her cheese and would love to come and live for the summer on her farm so he could learn to make such wonderful cheese. Well they email back and forth for a while and then finally he comes and stays and they fall in love MAKING CHEESE!! and it's like so beautiful and romantical and like a modern day cheese version of "you've got mail." Then she sent me this link. So does anyone out there read orangette? I think emily does. It's a recipe website of this woman. Well check this shit out. She stole my story, minus the cheese

most romantic story

food nerds falling in love!

I am a little drunk right now so bare with me. my friend got engaged today...ON THE FACEBOOK!! i think there are few things worse than hearing about a friends engagement on teh facebook. i mean general facebook engagements i find to be extremely offensive and an afront to all womenkind. rub it in bitches! no seriously, if you are old enough to be engaged perhaps you are old enough to not be using the facebook. This might be teh first person i know who is getting married. I mean peopel you knew from 4 years ago dont' count because they have most likely changed, but peopel you have seen in the past 4 months getting engaged, that is a whole other ball game. and then her friend left her a message about being "in the club" and she said yes i'm "in the club." What the fuck is this club!?? not that i want to be in teh club perse bu ti want someone to want to be in teh club with me. does that make any sense? anyways i was feeling really down because i generally tend to hate insipid women who find men to marry them when i know so many fascinating women who cannot get people. is there no justice in teh world! but more than that i hate people who have their life figured out because i am nowhere near having my life figurd out. and i don't want it figured out quite jsut yet but i'd like to know that somedya in liek 3 years i will have a plan and that plan will actually follow through. that sentence made no sense.

anyways i was feeling very....twin peaksish...very out of sorts...my emotions in my vagina where going out of control so i ran to trader joes for some wine because ifelt there was no better way to christen this already shitty day than with some shiraz. it is now 2 glasses later and i'm watchign dancing with the stars. i'm sure you are all judging me bu ti have to tell you about one of the most awesome things i have ever witnessed on television IN MY LIFE.

imagine this...survivor, singers of "eye of the tiger" singing LIVE ON STAGE with professional dancers doing the tango in capes and boxer's outfits!! and teh lead singer is wearing a pirates shirt and leather pants and PEARLS!! pearls goddamnit!! thsi song is so powerful. it almost makes me forget my bitterness. or maybe it's the wine. i dont' know but it's all so very eeemotional, so much so that i have to rewind 2 times to watch it again because it really touches me.

the chicken wing incident of 2007

so today i randomly came across my friend watching a soccer game at this chicken wing joing near campus. I thought i'd stop by and do some reading before a meeting i had. The sweet smell of wing sauce pervaded the room and i began to crave the glorious thing that is a chicken wing. Come to find it was in fact CHICKEN WING TUESDAY!! 10 wings for $4! eeemagine! Anyways never being able to say no to a good meal value i opted for the 10 wings. to top it off this place had free wifi. chicken wings and wifi! what a brilliant combo i thought. i started imagining myself doing homework here on tuesdays, scarfing down some wings and checking my gmail, perhaps even liveblogging. Granted there would be that whole issue of saucy hands but they had tons of wet naps so i thought it could still be doable.

20 minutes later

I had finally climbed through what felt like the everest of wings. Why is that that after your 6th wing you start to feel disgusting and yet you want more? It is the law of chicken wing exponentiality or something. I tell you there is no more eye opening moment than sitting in front of a plate of chicken bones wondering "did i just do that? in front of people?" All of my fantasies of chicken wing tuesday and free wifi were shattered by the reality. i was a disgusting human being. i sold my soul for $4.

so it was my 25th birthday this weekend which was, i must confess, fairly uneventful. I did manage to get drunk 2 nights in a row but it was not beligerantly drunk so really it was kind of any other day here in the annie.

finals are coming up. MOTHER FUCKER. i have not really had any deep thoughts as of late so i will leave this boring "update" at this.

i am a live, i am a mess