cutest baby EVER!

ok so i'm hella busy but i had to post this because i'm litrrrrrrrrrally having like physical eeeemotions when i look at pictures of this baby. he's so cute!! like i'm all giddy and making wierd noises that sound liek "eeeee" and "gahhhh." I will post more of him later doing wierd things like throwing up the west side sign but for now i leave you with this. Benny!!!!

As Ivan would say, "dddaaaaahhh!!!"

best diet ever

so i'm sitting in my room watching dancing with the stars with a nice cup of kombucha tea. gotta love the buch! anyways today i was so hardcore and got back late from statifying with the FOB but i realy wnated to go for a run because, damnit, if i didn't do it now i was never gonna do it. So i fucking threw on a thermal under my shirt, put on some gloves, some ear covers and leggings and i ran. i fucking ran!! and it was all up hill. i ran on the side of this highway that leads to north campus and the sky was kind of darkening and looking very gray and the lights were dim and the air was so clean. it was like the cleanest air i had ever breathed in my life. and it was like 35 degrees and the trees were almost barren of leaves all but the coniferous trees and the whole woods smelled like...woodchips? no it smelled like christmas. and i had to stop and just stare and admire, kind of like on season 5 when dawson's dad dies and right before he dies they show tha the was happy cuz he stops to admire his life and they are playing james taylor "Fire and rain." It was just like that. i was like..at peace with life. And i had this epiphany when i thought to myself..."you know, i'm gonna miss this someday. Moments like this are what i am going ot miss about t his place." Really quite stunning i must say.

speaking of working out i have not done it so far like 2 weeks and i feel like crap. but on a happy note my diet knowns as "poverty" has been working. This diet consists of not eating certain foods that are bad for you mainly because you cannot afford them. chips, cookies, ice cream, these are all extra costs that poverty does not include. hoorah for poverty! hoorah for stipends! Also my asian friends suggested i drink 3 cups of green tea a day and 4 words, "secrets of the psillium." dude, asians are skinny, so i believe them. and it's working! yesterday i went to american eagle as i plan on exploring the world of herringbone skirts and tights, so i wnated to sample before i committed to a location. I sampled and was quite happy to find that i fit into a size 4 again! i have not fit into a size 4 since i was 21. it was quite awesome. i mean granted in adult sizes since i'm petite i can fit into small small sizes but this is teenage sizes. teenage sizes always shock you when you try them on and are like "what i wear an 8???" what's my motivation, you ask? summer 2007 in ibiza with the gays. it will be RIDIC!! like serioulsy we are going to lounge and drink and club all night long and i need my thighs not to touch for when i wear my white and gold bikini. god it will be sooooooooo gooooodddd!!! eeeeeeeemmmmaaagine!! poverty people!

"I am keishawn!"

so the other day in my motivation class this crazy white girl who always talks about random shit that no one cares about said something very offensive but also extremely hilarious!! let me set the scene. she did teach for america (blah, we already know my feelings on this) in phoenix and loves to talk about how all her students were "lateeeno" with an accent and so she understands now about inequality in education and what not. riiiiiiighhhht. ok so the scene goes like this:

we were all sitting in class, a class with about 5 black people, 2 mexicans, and 5 white people and an asian and we were talking about how to get students (not minority students, just students) more intrinsically motivated to like school and learning for the sheer value of learning, vs. students who are extremely unmotivated. so CWG (crazy white girl) raises her hand and is like

"ok so...it's a nice idea to motivated studetns who are not motivated but how do we realistically do this. because i mean when i see a student and i'm just like...Keishawn, how do i motivate you!????"

now mind you all of the white people i have told this story to kind of just stand there like...um ok what's the big deal. the people of color on the other hand who have heard this all open their mouths really wide and say "nooo shheeee didn't!!!" well anyways the whole keishawn thing got the class in an uproar and everyone was laughing because it was so ridiculous and so offensive because clearly all unmotivated studetns are black and all black people have crazy names like keishawn. clearly, CWG!! so at this point the whole class is trying really hard not to laugh too much but we all bust out and this black girl latoya (ironically enough) yells out "she did not just say keishawn!!" and everyone started laughing harder and the worst part was that CWG didn't even realize she had been offensive. she thought we were laughing at the fact that she was so passionate about these issues of helping little Keishawn. wow...just wow.

i think this serves as a nice little example of what grad school is really like. so then my friend Jamaal and i were talking while CWG was going on and on about motivating the unmotivated and jamaal was like "next week i'm signing my class email to you all 'from keishawn'." I laughed but then i thought about this and i told fernando last night when we were having a party at my house that in reality there is a little bit of keishawn in all of us students of color and maybe we should all sign our emails keishawn in a very "i am spartacus" kind of way. At which point fernando kind of took it to a whole knew level by adding that we should make t shirts that said on the front

I AM KEISHAWN

and then on the back they should say

MOTIVATE ME

so true guys, so true. So today or tomorrow or whatever when you are attempting to get something done and you just can't get motivated think of the keishawn in all of you, and stand up with pride and say to yourself "i am keishawn!!"

*** BTdubs the spelling of keishawn came about when jamaal and i discussed it during class. Like how do we really spell keishawn....and this is the spelling that we came up with.

the bottom few posts i decided to write in separat sections because there were too many pictures to post. so read from the bottom up and enjoy.

trannies and babies PART IV

tailgating is a good idea but when you wake up at 8:30 with the worst headache of your life and you feel like you might die it doesn't seem so grand as it once did. With that feeling of death we all woke up and headed to Asia SF for the find gender illusionists and dining. just think about it...asian fusion cuisine and drag queens dancing and serving you. quite exotic.

here are some pics of the super hot hotties of asia sf

and then there was this really sad, preop tranny who was like...so not cute and so not sexy, and for her routine she sang "all by myself." we all agreed that she truly was the saddest girl to ever hold a martini. truly
Here are all our faces of SHOCK! SHOCK I SAY!
"Oh my god i SHOULD be a tranny with my legs!"

"how is it that they have better asses and tits than me???? i'm a woman goddamnit"

"I wish i had a faching so i could wear fabulous clothing and tassels"


So the next day david and i drove out to marin to visit my cousin and her new baby. the cutest baby ever!!

seroiusly look at this and tell me he isn't objectively speaking super cute! i present to you, little Benny!

On the way back we got a really rude awakening because we drove with the windows up and idnd't realize that david's dad's chevy corsica actually leaked gas and so we got the the new bloomingdales in union square and felt really tired and groggy and sick and nautious and like we were GOING TO DIE! i proceeded to have a massive anxiety attach about possibly dying of gas poisoning in the food court and david was freaking out too but after an hour and an ice cream we were kind of fine so we shopped. I bought 2 new pairs of joe jeans and a couple pairs of boots. i believe this takes the officialy boot count up to 6. why??? why????

drunk PART III

I like to call this section of pictures "drunk" because we were and that is the only way to explain some of the pictures


I brought this toolbelt for ivan and bobby to take on their gay cruise and then i had this epiphany. The toolbelt could also hold various things like...my drink, tapatio hot sauce, chili con limon powder, and I can’t believe it’s not butter…spray.

I don't know wha ti'm doing here but it looks like hard work
so then cathy packed up some drnks in her mini cooler for the walk to the stadium. you never know who might dehydrate on the way and need a quick beer
don't we look like the fucking reservoir dogs or something!!

i definitely look like i'm on the verge of passing out at this point
then we got into the stadium. so pretty!
nuria starting giving gilbert a lapdance. nothing new about that. it's just like vegas all over again
cathy was excited about the game before she realized...

how much we sucked
Ivan on the other hand opted for reading the New Yorker instead of watching the game. who goes to a football game and reads the new yorker!
then david made me go on the field and take a picture with the arizona mascot, wilma. blah
we went to the student section and i got mocked for wearing my shirt and someone made me cry and i was extremely eeeeemotional So I ate some of cathy's popcorn and felt significantly better
So the game was officialy over and we officially lost, big surprise. We all agreed that tailgating was in fact quite awesome. Football games on the otherhand are a total buzz kill. Thus we vowed that the second time around we would stick to the drinking in a field and avoid the game altogether. We were also all REALLY hung over. All except for cathy who decided that she'd take her harajuku lover roller blading around campus. sometimes cathy is hopeless
The rest of us other the other hand were HELLA hung over at this point...at 4pm in the afternoon. So we got into david's ghetto (but not fabulous) chevy corsica. Bobby was quite shocked because he had never driven in such a jacked out car

PreGameing PART II

Wow so I have had almost a week to process it and to get the liquor out of my system and now I feel that I can very aptly retell the tails of Saturday, the big tailgate. As usual (despite my warning people that we were not going to be on Mexican Time) people were running late and david was rushing me because he didn’t want to miss kick off. Granted it was 10 am and kick off was at 2:30 so I figured we’d make it with time to spare. In honor of my first tailgate ever we decided to go cash money bling style and buy various brats from an actual butcher, as opposed to the bargain pack at safeway. Yes, this was going to be a very classy affair. We also bought a gigantic handle of vodka and a lot of beer. I did not eeemagine that we would finish it all but I was really underestimating the drinking power of getting 7 mexicans together and a Vietnamese. Since my words can’t really do the story justice I will tell it in pictures.

Upon our arriving we realized that bobby's grill was very dirty and unusable, so he got down on his hands and knees and proceeded to clean. How very common!! How very plebian! But we all know, as cathy has commented many times before, bobby is no stranger to getting down on his knees. OH SNAP!! Here is bobby slaving away over a grill

This would be my first drink...a bloody mary, breakfast of champions. My morning victuals. All the essential vitamins and nutrients one needs, and with a nice celery stick included, to burn the calories that you are taking in. How fabulous!

I believe we are all on our first drinks and still looking somewhat put together. Do you like that little tempting piece of flesh I am showing. Ooh the seduction, I’m sure! Cathy brought out her athletic gear and ivan brought out his “Stanford English” t shirt since he doesn’t actually own any sports wear that has sleeve. One word: GAY!

I'm gonna guess that cathy is on her 4th drink? i don't really know what she is doing.

So then we popped open david’s SUV which we all agreed was v. cruc to the situation, and proceeded to blast ethnic music to our chagrinned white neighbors. Speaking of our white neighbors they had matching chairs and table cloth and even a floral center piece! Add that to the list of necessary items for next years tailgate. Check.

Brats and corn! what a team!!

David being all manly with his Tecate and brats.

I love this picture because it looks like ivan and i have massive sexual tension between the two of us. and yet...GAY!!

SF Weekend PART 1

here was what i wrote on my way to SF at the airport in Dallas Texas

So I kind of made a big snaffu and when I booked my flight to SFO using some american airlines credits I had. I accidentally booked it through dallas texas. What I think happened was I saw the D and I read Dallas but my mind processed Denver. Mostly because flying through dallas is ridiculous and stupid and further than just flying straight to sfo. Yes, this is very very true since it will now take me 4 hours to get from Dallas to SFO. It was one of those moments you see in movies where I’m on the plane and I get all comfortable and the stewardess is like “good morning we are on our way to Dallas/Ft Worth” and suddenly I opened my eyes and said “what!! Shit!” utterly wretched. Wretched!!!

Well now I am here in Dallas/ft worth texas and it’s a very weird places. So many Mexicans!! So nice! Lots of black people. I am not the only brunette with olive colored skin. I feel good about myself as a validated human being once again. Texas, who knew? To commemorate my time here I contemplated buying some of that “don’t mess with texas” crap in the gift shop. I was really close and kind of really wanted a t shirt. I still might get one. Also key to note there are people in this airport wearing lots of cowboy bopts and lots of cowboy hats. V. interesting. Sucks though that I’m stuck here for another hour only to take a 4 hour flight. God that was real dumb of me

CNN is showing that it’s snowing all weekend in Michigan. Ha! Fuckers! .

what a ridic day we all had yesterday. drinking in the afternoon does not lead to good times in the pm. will update later with pictures that include tool belts, brats, corn, and drag queens.

things i hate

Guys so yesterday i was browsing through my space as i am apt to do on nights when i am procrastinating and i came upon this girl from my high school who i was not yet friends with. I noticed that her profile was blocked and only viewable by her friends. damn! why do people do this! Clearly i requested her friendship right then and there. the reason i was curious about her was not that i really cared but rather that she was one of my least favorite people of all time in my teen years and so i really wanted to see what she was doing as a means of mocking her. Clearly, i am a horrible person but I have come to terms with that, so you should too. Anywys she's still dumb and becoming a model in taiwan or something. Anyways what i wanted to talk about was her profile.

"I am about the BIGGEST DORK you will ever get to know or meet and I will be the first to admit it. haha. I love to read, eat junk food, watch movies all day long, take naps, write music, and sing. Music is my ultimate passion. I hope to touch people's souls with my work. I recommend 'The Alchemist' for inspirational reading material. It happened for me.... I was going to school for my business and marketing degree when I landed the opportunity to travel the world and make good money (SCHOOL MONEY! YEA!) I freelance work for a number of model/talent agencies. I'm also living my dream....music....as I mentioned before. When all this excitement dies down then I hope to go back to school and finish the two years that I have left. Maybe then I'll be able to find my prince charming, get married, and have a family of my own."

now there are just so many things wrong with this. First off, no, you are not a dork! i am a dork! you, you my friend, are not a dork. I hate when people who clearly mocked you for being a dork in your youth and made you feel liek a wretched and horrible person comeout with shit like this that they are the worlds biggest dork. fuck you! first of all dorks are smart. yeah, that's all. Call me caddy but goddamnit i did not work my ass off this hard in school for some stupid bitch to claim that she is a dork. Maybe i'm just bitter because i spent 8 hours in the library today, AND I LIKED IT. That my friend, is being a dork. BTW, reading the alchemist does not make you a deep person, nor does it make you a lover of books. shut up. Also college is not for finding a husband and getting married! it's about learning! god i hate women! i hate them all.

Also this alchemist thing got me talking wiht emily earlier and i was noting how she should write a column titled "smart things that dumb people like for the wrong reason and smart people like for the right reasons." The alchemist is one of those things. dumb people LOVE this book. and it's a fantistic smart book but to say that you are following your personal destiny by modeling in taiwan i feel really doesn't quite grasp the purpose of the book. Another thing that we discussed was "gone with the wind" and how dumb people always list this as their favorite book and it is a great book but we were trying to figure out why so many dumb women love this book. And we realized, it's probalby because they think it is a love story when in reality it's not and they think scarlet and rhett are mfeo and they are but because they are both HORRIBLE HORRIBLE HUMAN BEINGS. And scarlett herself is a wretched woman and that's why you love her. And thus, dumb people like that book for the wrong reasons and smart people like it for the right reasons. another example, the show "the bachelor." dumb people think this show is so romantic and all about finding love. Smart people think it's a horrible representation of how fucked up women and men in our society are that they don't actually know what love is. it's more than a fucking wedding people!! And i think the producers of this show are smart enough to see that and mock the people on teh show judging from the women they choose and the editting they do. Other things include but are not limited to "eternal sunshine of teh spotless mind" "garden state" and the broad category of "foreign films" and usually what they mean by foreign films is "life is beautiful." you, yes all of you, i hate you all. Especially you roberto benigni

onto more calming positive imagery. today during my 8 hour shift at the library i found a carrol that had a window to campus and it was sooo...just...yeah...so. It was dark and dreary and i was on the 4th floor so all i could see were the orange and red tops of trees and the wind was blowing the leaves everywhere and there were red brick buildings all under the trees and it was magical, like hogwarts or something. and i felt like really, deep, or something.

** edit another thing to add to teh list: "breakfast at tiffanys" dumb people think this is a love story. he's gay people!

cutest video EVER

ok this shit seriously made me cry. Thank you Ramit, for paying it forward.

Literacy is cute

leaves and shit

to my peeps on the west coast:

You know how when you got to college and all of the east and midwesterners kept mocking you for not knowing what a real fall is like? and you kept wondering, wow do leaves really fall and form giant piles into which you can jump and frolick etc etc. Well I am in it, officially. fall that is. I am in fall. And it's true, there are a lot of leaves, everywhere. But coming from the very pristine well cleaned up area of Palo Alto i keep thinking "why doesn't someone hire a gardener to clean this shit up! preferably a mexican one!" Let me tell you a the little realities of fall. There are leaves, but there is also rain and rain plus leaves just means lots of wet piles of orange crap. there is also wind and cold. It's kind of dirty, i will be honest. Basically what i'm saying is those people lied to us and made us feel liek we were misisng out. To them i say, Give me palm trees and sun all year round!!

ok ok maybe i'm being too harsh. The other day i was taking a nice run through a park (i know!) and i saw this tree and it was all kind of beautiful orange and red almost as though I was moses and this tree was on fire telling me the ten commanments (religious imagery, anyone anyone?). And i stopped my jog and went up to the tree and pulled off a leaf, the most beautiful leaf i could find. Well you know what? That leaf was not that beautiful apart from the other leaves. It kind of just looked dead in my hand. And that's when i realized, that leaf outside of the context of that tree and that park and that moment meant nothing. It was all of that together that made it beautiful. And i don't know how that all relates to fall and my opinions on it, you tie it all together but there it is.

Today it's a bit chilly, odd really since yesterday it was 75 degrees! But according to the weather this thursday is set to have snow showers. snow showers! What the hell is a snow shower? is this different from let's say...snowing or a snow storm or really cold rain? these are legit questions i think. oh ann arbor, you slay me with your cunning ability to throw me for a loop. What will you do next!

on that note i leave you with pics of this past weekend. I'm sad to say i had left my camera in my office desk which is why there aren't more full body shots of me. it's tragic really.

here we have a waist up of the costume, which has been discussed at length. what is horribly unfortch is that you couldn't see the lower half of my body. so sad. If you look closely you can see my fanny pack. also interesting to note...my breasts look HUGE. must be an angle thing. This is early in the night...drink 1 maybe?

ah yes...drink 2. i believe i took the "groomsman el super" flask from my fanny pack and spiked it a bit. it was hella weak. Nishi went as a punk and Fernando went as super P man. We thought that was lame and told him he shoudl just say he's "Pedro the mexican." Pedro the mexican and Drew the Pool boy
I think some people refer to this as "bringing sexy back."???
yes yes i think so

Me and Asian Jenn, before she and fernando snuck off to make out on the side of the building.
Pedro and Hugo guest starring as "pepper"
This is one of those pictures that really needs context but that you were way too drunk to remember the context. for instance...what was i singing? clearly it was very eeemotional. I am going to bet my money that it was an 80's song for sure.
I distinctly remember at this point hugo yelling "do the chicken dance, yo, do the chicken dance!!!" beyond that it's a bit of a blur. Also important to note, this shall be my face for the rest of the pictures. clearly i was very excited.
Hugo looks pissed. like someone told him that Taco Bell had gone bankrupt. what!!!! say what!!key to note in the next 2 pics...how fernando's face goes from "i'm about to pass out" to "what time is it guys i'm getting tired."

and that was kind of it for the night. Nishi's camera was dying of battery which is why all the pics look really rushed. cuz we kept yelling "quick the battery is gonna die! quick!! oh wait it didnt' die yet??? ok ok quick another before the battery dies!!"